Thai Culture

[Guest]

I've come to realize through very painful experience, that in Thailand, to do small lies is considered very much ok.

Generally, us westerners think, "If she does a small lie, she'll do a big lie later.".

However, the Thais don't think that way.

I had one girl, whom I really, really trusted, reveal something she swore she would never, ever tell. When I found out she'd told someone, I confronted her, and she, very seriously said, "Yes, but that's ok. It didn't cause any trouble with the guy I told." Meaning, she judged the "trouble" it would cause, and because she thought it ok, the lie was ok, and why was I complaining.

This has happened maybe 3 times, and the first 2 I thought "Lying bitch", but now I'm thinking, "That's Thai", and maybe everyone is like that.

Annoyed.

[katoeylover]

I thought it was more of lying to save face, or to prevent an arguement. Taking the easy option, rather than hurting someone, or their feelings.

[Guest]

This didn't save face, it was behind my back!

However, what you say is true as well (in the face). For example, I asked a girl in Siam Paragon for her phone number. She said "No have phone". I said, "I'll give you my phone number". She said, "I don't know how to call.". That is the way of "saving face", she made a soft exit (albeit a stupid one), instead of saying, "I don't like you and I never want you to call me and I will never call you!".

[stogie bear]

Thais (especially girls and ladyboys) are very melodramatic and will say absolutely anything, true or not, to spice up a conversation. Thais are almost never challenged on anything they say, so they can get away with it. It's harmless fun for the most part. But knowing this, I lie on everything I say to a Thai person... including my name and where I'm from. I have zero respect for Thai culture and it's shallow cowardice and don't give a fuck what they think about me.

[Looker]

Telling lies, big or small, it's not a characteristic of Thai people alone. You will find the same problem in S.America, Southern Europe (S.Italy, Greece, etc..) and of course most Asian countries plus the subcontinent.
Several the motivations. Typically Asian is of course the "face" thing, but as well the fact of wanting to appear smart(er) by saying that things can be done when not true, and similar other behaviors that escape logic.
Agree with Stogie in saying that are kind of culture/es not impressing at all.

[Snick]

Whats interesting is its perfectly normal to lie, but very rude to call someone a liar.

BTW, Thais think we have an wierd obsession with telling the truth, they prefer a white lie to a rude truth.

[Guest]

... and of course we Westerners would never lie - particularly for some base reason like obtaining sexual gratification!

When i was in my early twenties i used to work in my Uncle's pub at weekends and the old bollocks that you would hear from both sexes in order to move things along was mind boggling. needless to say shift over I would move to the other side of the bar and cheerfully persuade the object of my desires that i was a brain surgeon / artist / musician or whatever it took. No one ever said "weren't you serving drinks ten minutes ago?"

Its all a game - enjoy it while we can

Cheers

[Mai-Kee]

(stogie bear @ Feb. 03 2007,05:23) Thais (especially girls and ladyboys) are very melodramatic and will say absolutely anything, true or not, to spice up a conversation. Thais are almost never challenged on anything they say, so they can get away with it. It's harmless fun for the most part. But knowing this, I lie on everything I say to a Thai person... including my name and where I'm from. I have zero respect for Thai culture and it's shallow cowardice and don't give a fuck what they think about me.

Very true!!!
T.I.T.

[kahuna]

Lie??? I must be part Thai...

[ShockToe]

(ziggystardust @ Feb. 03 2007,10:57) This didn't save face, it was behind my back!

However, what you say is true as well (in the face). For example, I asked a girl in Siam Paragon for her phone number. She said "No have phone". I said, "I'll give you my phone number". She said, "I don't know how to call.". That is the way of "saving face", she made a soft exit (albeit a stupid one), instead of saying, "I don't like you and I never want you to call me and I will never call you!".

I assume you are a farang? If so any cultural idiosyncrosies common or expected in Thai culture do not apply to interractions with you. You may want to adjust your expectations and as they say, get used to it.


Calling another person's actions "stupid" in the (fictional?) example cited is an indication of bigger issues. You put this person in a challenging situation, presumably in a langauage that is not native to her. She attempted to extricate herself from an uncomfortable position, one that might have endangered her job, in the best way she could manage. And you say what she did was stupid?

[Guest]

(ShockToe @ Feb. 03 2007,21:40) Calling another person's actions "stupid" in the (fictional?) example cited is an indication of bigger issues. You put this person in a challenging situation, presumably in a langauage that is not native to her. She attempted to extricate herself from an uncomfortable position, one that might have endangered her job, in the best way she could manage. And you say what she did was stupid?

Steady on old boy

[Looker]

(riteguy @ Feb. 03 2007,17:41) ... and of course we Westerners would never lie -

Indeed - tell that to my Dad! And no, he's not Thai

However, the funniest (and smartiest) lie I heard was on a Thai flight I took some 3 months ago from BKK to JKT. There was this cute stewardess serving meal and I asked for her phone number.

She replid: Sorry, I'm technophobic and don't use mobile phones!

Little smart bitch! I suspect she saw if somewhere in the internet..

[Guest]

The Siam example wasn't fictional.

She wasn't going to lose her job, as no one was around (we were behind some pillars), as I was aware of any girl's sensitivities to being watched in this situation.

I did not call her stupid, rather, as written, I suggested that the phrase, "I don't know how to use a mobile" is a rather stupid phrase.

She speaks English, as she is the main person at a counter.

Her extrication was typical was pretty much the point.

PS.
I gave her my phone number anyhow, she called me, and we went for a dinner date (see another posting on LTR). It turns out she did have a mobile after all, and did know how to use it!

[stogie bear]

But he did correctly guess that you are a farang, though...

[Guest]

Yes, you're right!

Good point.