How do they tell their parents?

[post-op lover]

Anyone have insight on how LBs tell their parents of their TS status? I've read interviews and stories by folks like Tula Cossey, Harisu, Canary Conn, and many others, but I wonder how things are in LOS or in more recent circumstances.

I've heard that often there's been problems of abuse by the father. Several of my post-op acquaintances have indicated that their father was absent or became less involved after they revealed their TS identity.

After seeing some of the hot girls in LA, I can imagine that a father would say "Well, damn, he wasn't much of a son, but she's a smokin' daughter!"

[Guest]

Well, how did some of US tell our parents? Do you feel like you are in a "have to tell" situations sometime. Especially for us who can't really get turned on by GG? Have to have that dick ...

[dummy_plug]

All of the ladyboys I've asked have said that their parents were accepting of their LB status. One, Peem, even said it was her mom that 'forced' her into it (those are my words not hers) because her mom wanted a girl so she started dressing lil Peem, much to our heart's content, in skirts and stuff at a young age. I'm guessing that almost any father is going to be disappointed but from what I've heard it seems that its pretty accepting.

[rxpharm]

For the lbs that I know - most of them started with growing their hair long, then starting to gradually wear women's clothes, taking hormones, etc. if they were living at home. This would eventually bring parents to the point of discussion and they would find out. Not all fathers are so accepting of their son's change to be an lb. This is especially the case when the only son becomes an lb. A few of the lbs I know have been estranged from their fathers because of this. Sometimes there can be reconciliation as she shows how much she can support the family - but sometimes not.

For lbs who did not live at home, they would be completely femme until they visited home and then be androgynous, until the topic came up. After discussion then they would be completely feminine when visiting home.

[post-op lover]

I know one post-op, from a family of 8 or 9 children, who said that her mother always knew she was going to be a LB, even from a young age.

Of the 3 or 4 posties that I can best recall my discussions with, it seems that all were close to their mothers, and either estranged from their fathers or their fathers were already absent or deceased. In some cases, they report that their father was abusive towards their mother.

Well, my acquaintances are not a statistically useful sample.

[stogie bear]

Parents probably know (or at least guess) this stuff before the kids do.

[Guest]

Most LBs know at about 4 years old or so, and as Stogie said, most parents know then too or even before (there is a tendency to do girl things from birth, toys, colors, behaviors).

Like everything, the response is all over the map, however, I would guess that near 100% of mothers say "Up to you" and don't blink an eye. Fathers are less than 100% from my experience asking girls, but I'd still say the majority are quite ok with it.

I met May's and Kwang's fathers, and they love their little girls like any parent would. In case you think the "I'm ok with it" fathers are softies, think again. May's father is a big, tough drinking, macho fisherman, but she tells me he defended her desires against his macho friends from as early as she can remember; saying to them in drinking sessions, "It's up to her what she wants to do. She's my daughter. I love her, and you damn well not better say anything against her."

[Road Runner]

As most of the girls will be experimenting with clothes hair etc. before they are 10 (yes I know many start well before that) -  I would guess that telling the parents is not really an issue.
As Post-op says the mothers may well work it out when the child is very young.

My limited experience is that nearly 100% of the mothers seem to accept the situation and usually support the child.
I'd say that the great majority of the fathers do too  -  though the level of support they give seems to vary pretty widely. Doing a 'runner' does seem to be one of the responses!

But as I have said before there are certainly a few cases I have come across where the father has tried to beat the idea out of the child.
Against that I know that even after that sometimes the father will eventually accept that their 'son' is now their daughter.

RR.

[Mai-Kee]

Same experiences here. Fathers have major problems - especially in those Asian macho societies (don't even wanna know how tough this is for the girls in Latin America).
Although I've met many who had big problems with being accepted at home anyway. Some simply became runaways, after their hair got too long and their boobs already visible - with 13 or 14. Then straight to Pattaya.... the rest we know.....

MK

[post-op lover]

This is very interesting. If you have more comments on specific examples, I'd like to know them. I think that Sam Winters' site has some good personal narratives, for instance.

POL

[dummy_plug]

I've met Jane's parents and I thought her dad was ok with it.

Another LB I've been chatting up on the net has told me her dad isn't happy with it. She sent me a family picture of her on graduation day and he's got the biggest frown on his face - ever!

[Guest]

I know 2 families where the parents sold perhaps their most important possessions to get cash to help their daughters have operations. That sentiment is so unbeliavable in a western society, but given I know 2 (and I didn't even ask), there must be 1000s and 1000s of stories like that.

[dummy_plug]

I'd believe that. Another LB I've talked to, who as far as I can tell, doesn't work a bar for a living said her parents saved up the money to have her operation. As I'm sure she's from the lower caste of society, I'm sure that must have been a lot of sacrifice.

[Mai-Kee]

But I also made the other experience. Funny story which I think I told already here a while ago.
It was about 6 or 7 years ago when I made an experience I€™ll never forget. I met a cute LB in a Bookazine shop in BKK. I chatted her up, while she was browsing through the magazine section. She was tall about 172cm, though very female looking with the longest legs I€™ve ever seen on a kathoey! Beautiful slim hands and nails €“ a perfect elegant lady, you would say. Her name was Chalee and she worked part-time beside the university in an antique shop in the same building as the book store was. We went for a coffee, changed tel. numbers, then she went back to work after her lunch break and I went to a massage for a nice afternoon ride. So far so good.
I called her the next day and we made a date for the following evening. She was a modest and graceful beauty from the north and when she smiled her full lips uncovered 2 perfect rows of teeth. She was that model-like kathoey we sometimes find in the north. She told me about her past, about her relationship with a flight attendend, which lasted for 3 years and which was just finnished a few months ago. I was never sure if it€™s a perfect timing, if you meet a girl after a longterm-relationship break €“ no matter who terminated it. She told me she actually doesn€™t look for a new relationship, but friendship is ok €“ if I like. Well I tried to play it cool, although I was of course very dissapointed. You don't get this kinda treatment from bargirls.... that was the real world!
But then she told me she is going to visit her family in Sukhothai over the weekend, maybe I€™d like to join her. I said €“ still hoping for my moment to come €“ why not and so we went by train (by the way a trip I wouldn€™t want to miss: a beautiful landscape and you go right through the heart of the old empire) to Sukhothai. During that trip she told me about her family. Her father is a doctor at the general hospital in Sukhothai and she has 2 other siblings and €“ now it comes €“ both of them are LB's as well! I couldn€™t believe it! (Reminds me of Ziggy's foxy siblings... ) She is with her 23 years the oldest. The next one is 20 and there is a little follower of 14 years. I knew that they start early in that age, also sometimes earlier, but I said maybe with 14 she isn€™t really sure about €“ it€™s just a kind of experiment, because of her €œsisters€. But she just laughed and said you will see.
They lived in a nice big house in a quiet green €“ definitely a Thai upper-class area €“ in Sukhothai. Both parents were very friendly, quiet and open minded people €“ something I didn€™t experience very often in Thailand. Her father was already in his late fifties, her mom seemed to be younger €“ about 45 maybe. The fathers English was excellent, the mother couldn't speak a word.
Of course I had to stay in the guest room and a dinner was prepared for the evening. Her 20 year old sister was not there, because she studied in Chiang Mai, but the youngest was here. The door opened and the most beautiful girl in that age I€™ve ever seen entered the dining room. A pure beauty. She had her hair in a long pigtail down to her hips, dressed in a gorgeous white skirt and a light blue T-shirt showing her boobs €“ which were at the same size than girls have in that age €“ so a nice B-cup already I€™d say. She had a flawless face, big eyes, the same beautiful lips like her sister and will be €“ definetly the next Miss Tiffany! There was nothing €“ and I mean absolutely nothing masculine in that face, figure, feets, hands. An unbelievable moment I€™ll never forget! Chalee laughed and said €“ that€™s what I told you €“ she is our treasure €“ the most confident, convincing one of us. Siriporn €“ also remarkable was that both girls, I suppose also the third one, but I forgot it, had female names, not nicknames €“ what the little one was called, started with the hormon therapy with 11 after the whole family knew that also their youngest would be a LB €“ and maybe the most perfect one of them. The good thing was that both parents seem to have no problems at all with it and the father was actually controlling the whole hormon treatment of all three. The point is with the youngest, that€™s what he told me at the dinner, that when they start early enough with the hormones they don€™t even get into male puberty and developing directly female bodies. That was obviously true. Also the third one €“ I only saw pictures - looked breathtaking, more petite like her older sister, short hair and very sexy€¦.sigh. Siriporn was extremely shy and didn€™t speak much and of course absolutely no English. But it was wonderful to see her so confident in all her movements and gestures and her soft voice €“ always of course using the female form of speaking Thai €“ was enchanting.
The whole weekend was fun. I met 3 other LB friends and 2 gay friends and we all went out to a karaoke bar. To make it short €“ Chalee didn€™t give me the chance, but I had some little fun around 2 am, with one of her girlfriends in a niche of the bar, but just some teenage-like kissing and petting in the dark €“ that was it. All these girls were of well-to-do families and none of them were in any way involved with the bar scene or had any intentions of going there. That€™s why they€™re much shyer than the girls you normally get to know and they always try to behave extremely properly, just to show the difference €“ actually it€™ was already a big thing to go out with a farang in their home-town. But I enjoyed the stay and the experience of a warmhearted nice family with 3 beautiful LB daughter€™s I€™ll never forget!
Unfortunately I lost contact to Chalee a couple of years ago, when she went to the US doing a Master in arts and I never got the chance to make a closer contact to the others €“ imaging Siriporn is now 19, gives me a heart attack €“ which was maybe on her purpose, as she knew I€™m a naughty one.
So maybe we will discover this little gem once in a beauty contest, who knows€¦..

MK

[post-op lover]

Yes, I started calculating Siriporn's current age as soon as you described her. Wow.

What a father and mother. It seems they were really looking out for their daughters, especially by the time the 3rd one came around.