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I have had a pretty good time of it here over the last four years or so. I have spent most of it with one fine ladyboy and I have had my share of short lived affairs and crushes too.
Not a lot of them, mind you, but enough to fulfill my life and make me very happy.
So how did this come about? Why me? How come I got the girl and had to beat her off with a stick?
These are personal observations and not meant to be offensive or taken as advice.
Well, I'm 45, so no spring chicken! I'm pretty bald. Definitely overweight. I don't have much money. No condo, no car... a cheap apartment in the boonies is what I call home! I can't speak Thai. I don't hang out at bars and discos. I don't have much in the way of a job here in Thailand, either. Occasional teaching gigs, etc.
In other words; I'm almost perfect!
Recently I have had a ladyboy over my gaff almost every night for the last three weeks or so. If you follow this forum at all then you know who she is. I paid her for a photo shoot and since then I haven't given her more than the taxi fare home on occasion.
This isn't the first time ladyboy has taken an interest in the uninteresting either. And not working girls either! Girls who, at first sight, you would normally expect to be dancing all night or going out with younger/fitter/richer men than me.
So, I have given this a lot of thought and managed to come up with what I think is the answer.
(I'd be interested to hear what you guys think -good or bad, I don't mind!)
It's 'The Comfort Factor!'
There are those of you who have already sussed out the rest of my post. Maybe there are some that haven't yet...
If I'm bringing a girl to my house or to a hotel room I treat her like royalty. I don't care if she's a bargirl, streetwalker or a college gal studying marine biology. They all get the same treatment.
In the hotel I make it very clear that they have sole command of the remote control and they can order what they want from room service. Usually there is a prior trip to the 7/11 or Family Mart to pick up some last minute supplies (Miniature mouthwash, comic for when I'm sleeping, condoms and a phone card!) I make sure that I bundle all her items in with my Gatorade and Snickers bar without making too much of a fuss about it! (It's a nice gesture that will pay off for you, believe me!)
In the room I'm never in a hurry to tear off her clothes, and I'm happy to watch the telly for an hour while she takes a shower!
I like to ask my temporary 'girlfriends' questions about themselves. (And they love to talk!) Plus I'm a slow worker in bed too.
All in all it's a very stress free situation for the girl. Let's face it - I'm not stressed and I just want to get laid. I'm bigger and stronger and all my valuables are tucked away safely! Nothing for me to worry about!
But for the girl - if it's her first time with me then she's obviously gonna let me stretch her for cash. There's no way that she's actually gonna like me as a person in that short space of time. She may dislike me. She doesn't know me and she's probably been ripped off before by people who look a lot like me! She is also vulnerable in many ways that I am not.
This situation works even better at my home. She can watch a movie, lounge around. Go to the fridge and get something to drink. Where one of my oversized T-shirts and make herself at home. It's all very stress free.
So - why am I sharing all this guff with you lot?
Well - it has sadly dawned on me that one of the best things that I have going for me is that I'm predictable, unthreatening and boring!
This seems to be a genuine cause for girls wanting to see me again and strike up an informal and ongoing friendship! It seems that all the things that I do NOT do can have its' appeal!
Of course there are a million girls who will find this situation (and me) as dull as dishwater and will see me for what I am - a horny old fart with morning breath who can't dance!
But that's cool. These are the kinds of girls who I don't want to get to know too well anyway! I'm not an 'up-all-night' kind of a bloke. I'd rather watch a movie at four in the morning with a ladyboy who just wants to while the night hours away doing nothing.
Moving on...
Ladyboys who work in bars make impressions of us from the first time they see us. Firstly it's whether or not we can be knocked up for a lot of money. If we can (or she thinks we can) then she'll make the first move.
After the ice is broken she'll be on the look out for anything weird about us that might put her off sleeping with us. It won't be what we look like or how much we drink or whether or not we smoke or not. It'll be the arse grabbing or the weird comments, etc.
I've seen some farangs put on some frighteningly bizzare sets of behaviour in my time. Some of it is frankly insane and at other times just ridiculous. So while she's checking you out as a possible mark she's already checking out her own Comfort Factor.
And ladyboys compare notes too. So if you are a regular then she'll already know something about you and what you get up to behind the "Do Not Disturb" sign. If you are new to the bar then she'll be working on instinct.
For regular working ladyboys or students the situation is much more sensitive. The demon drink can excuse a lot of behaviour in bars but it won't bale you out of making a prat of yourself in a shopping mall!
Asking a girl to have lunch with you always works best. It's non-threatening and she can bugger off afterwards and ignore your subsequent calls and SMSs till the end of time!
Getting a nice girl into your apartment is the hardest trick. Offering to cook dinner and taking her home after works well. (If you actually do this on the first date then on subsequent visits you'll have the best sex you've ever had for as long as you want it!)
Thai ladyboys have usually had some unusual experiences with people and simply being ladyboys has set there radar to ON all the time. They are very sensitive to strange behaviour and are easily scared. (Talking about nice girls here, folks!)
The 'Softly softly' approach always works. Remember - if you think she's smoking hot and you get a stiffy just talking to her on the phone, then other people do to. And you aren't the first guy (Thai/Farang or whatever) to show an interest in her.
To sum up...
There are loads of younger richer people out there who have exciting lives and terrific experiences that I'll never be able to match. But for me - being a boring old fart seems to have worked so far!
'The Comfort Factor' for girls you want to date may mean the difference between success and failure. For me it means no sudden moves, no unpredictable behaviour and no odd surprises.
The language and cultural barriers are all a girl should have to negotiate with to find the real you! And if she's comfortable with you then you've got it made!
Stogie Bear
Not a lot of them, mind you, but enough to fulfill my life and make me very happy.
So how did this come about? Why me? How come I got the girl and had to beat her off with a stick?
These are personal observations and not meant to be offensive or taken as advice.
Well, I'm 45, so no spring chicken! I'm pretty bald. Definitely overweight. I don't have much money. No condo, no car... a cheap apartment in the boonies is what I call home! I can't speak Thai. I don't hang out at bars and discos. I don't have much in the way of a job here in Thailand, either. Occasional teaching gigs, etc.
In other words; I'm almost perfect!
Recently I have had a ladyboy over my gaff almost every night for the last three weeks or so. If you follow this forum at all then you know who she is. I paid her for a photo shoot and since then I haven't given her more than the taxi fare home on occasion.
This isn't the first time ladyboy has taken an interest in the uninteresting either. And not working girls either! Girls who, at first sight, you would normally expect to be dancing all night or going out with younger/fitter/richer men than me.
So, I have given this a lot of thought and managed to come up with what I think is the answer.
(I'd be interested to hear what you guys think -good or bad, I don't mind!)
It's 'The Comfort Factor!'
There are those of you who have already sussed out the rest of my post. Maybe there are some that haven't yet...
If I'm bringing a girl to my house or to a hotel room I treat her like royalty. I don't care if she's a bargirl, streetwalker or a college gal studying marine biology. They all get the same treatment.
In the hotel I make it very clear that they have sole command of the remote control and they can order what they want from room service. Usually there is a prior trip to the 7/11 or Family Mart to pick up some last minute supplies (Miniature mouthwash, comic for when I'm sleeping, condoms and a phone card!) I make sure that I bundle all her items in with my Gatorade and Snickers bar without making too much of a fuss about it! (It's a nice gesture that will pay off for you, believe me!)
In the room I'm never in a hurry to tear off her clothes, and I'm happy to watch the telly for an hour while she takes a shower!
I like to ask my temporary 'girlfriends' questions about themselves. (And they love to talk!) Plus I'm a slow worker in bed too.
All in all it's a very stress free situation for the girl. Let's face it - I'm not stressed and I just want to get laid. I'm bigger and stronger and all my valuables are tucked away safely! Nothing for me to worry about!
But for the girl - if it's her first time with me then she's obviously gonna let me stretch her for cash. There's no way that she's actually gonna like me as a person in that short space of time. She may dislike me. She doesn't know me and she's probably been ripped off before by people who look a lot like me! She is also vulnerable in many ways that I am not.
This situation works even better at my home. She can watch a movie, lounge around. Go to the fridge and get something to drink. Where one of my oversized T-shirts and make herself at home. It's all very stress free.
So - why am I sharing all this guff with you lot?
Well - it has sadly dawned on me that one of the best things that I have going for me is that I'm predictable, unthreatening and boring!
This seems to be a genuine cause for girls wanting to see me again and strike up an informal and ongoing friendship! It seems that all the things that I do NOT do can have its' appeal!
Of course there are a million girls who will find this situation (and me) as dull as dishwater and will see me for what I am - a horny old fart with morning breath who can't dance!
But that's cool. These are the kinds of girls who I don't want to get to know too well anyway! I'm not an 'up-all-night' kind of a bloke. I'd rather watch a movie at four in the morning with a ladyboy who just wants to while the night hours away doing nothing.
Moving on...
Ladyboys who work in bars make impressions of us from the first time they see us. Firstly it's whether or not we can be knocked up for a lot of money. If we can (or she thinks we can) then she'll make the first move.
After the ice is broken she'll be on the look out for anything weird about us that might put her off sleeping with us. It won't be what we look like or how much we drink or whether or not we smoke or not. It'll be the arse grabbing or the weird comments, etc.
I've seen some farangs put on some frighteningly bizzare sets of behaviour in my time. Some of it is frankly insane and at other times just ridiculous. So while she's checking you out as a possible mark she's already checking out her own Comfort Factor.
And ladyboys compare notes too. So if you are a regular then she'll already know something about you and what you get up to behind the "Do Not Disturb" sign. If you are new to the bar then she'll be working on instinct.
For regular working ladyboys or students the situation is much more sensitive. The demon drink can excuse a lot of behaviour in bars but it won't bale you out of making a prat of yourself in a shopping mall!
Asking a girl to have lunch with you always works best. It's non-threatening and she can bugger off afterwards and ignore your subsequent calls and SMSs till the end of time!
Getting a nice girl into your apartment is the hardest trick. Offering to cook dinner and taking her home after works well. (If you actually do this on the first date then on subsequent visits you'll have the best sex you've ever had for as long as you want it!)
Thai ladyboys have usually had some unusual experiences with people and simply being ladyboys has set there radar to ON all the time. They are very sensitive to strange behaviour and are easily scared. (Talking about nice girls here, folks!)
The 'Softly softly' approach always works. Remember - if you think she's smoking hot and you get a stiffy just talking to her on the phone, then other people do to. And you aren't the first guy (Thai/Farang or whatever) to show an interest in her.
To sum up...
There are loads of younger richer people out there who have exciting lives and terrific experiences that I'll never be able to match. But for me - being a boring old fart seems to have worked so far!
'The Comfort Factor' for girls you want to date may mean the difference between success and failure. For me it means no sudden moves, no unpredictable behaviour and no odd surprises.
The language and cultural barriers are all a girl should have to negotiate with to find the real you! And if she's comfortable with you then you've got it made!
Stogie Bear
for thought Stogie Bear! 
unless you are another wild-disco-techno type!
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