Are we a bad match for ladyboys?

[Guest]

I have been with my current LB gf for around 3 years and for her it this could not be futher from the truth, she hardly ever lets me top on her LOL. Sure I have dated ladyboys /tgirls in the past who hated their cock and eventually had the op, but also alot who love what they have, I don't think you can generalise so easily, and you sure won't find out about what working girls are really into by asking them, they will tell you whatever they think you wanna hear!

[stogie bear]

(s_jon @ Feb. 18 2007,20:35) I don't think you can generalise so easily, and you sure won't find out about what working girls are really into by asking them, they will tell you whatever they think you wanna hear!

[Guest]

(stogie bear @ Feb. 18 2007,20:38)

Even if they choose not to get the chop, one should not hastily conclude they have come to terms and are satisfied with the extra equipment because they still seem ashamed of it.

Exactly. Wise words.  

I don't see anyone being hasty here. Working conclusions (that's all they are as nobody has a definitive answer) are not made hastily. Rather they are based on long term and wide experience.

Such experiences may of course vary.

I think it's fair to note that anecdotal evidence drawn from the p4p sector can be unreliable and should be treated with due caution due to the 'special' conditions that apply. Namely psychological instability  

By all means, let's hear more from Members with a wide experience of contact with LBs, especially the non-working types. In that regard, I am yet to meet many who are 'ashamed' of their equipment.

[post-op lover]

(stogie bear @ Feb. 18 2007,16:57)

I know several posties who've belittled guys who prefer only pre-ops. I thought that was a tad odd, since they (the post-ops) are also among the groups that society at large still considers a bit deviant. Moreover, that they referred to pre-op lovers as gay was very strange: what's wrong with anyone being gay (among those of us who are already so open-minded)? I thought it was very strange they would use "gay" as a pejorative.

Hmmm... These must be mentally imbalanced post op nazis with a serious chip on their collective shoulders! I've never encountered this bizarre behaviour that you speak of either in real life or as case studies. I seriously doubt the conviction of these samples that you are quoting from.

Yeah, I don't know if they've really thought through the simplest inconsistencies of what they'd said. Then again, who's going to have a debate over such views? It's not the biggest issue of the day.

As for the comments on LBs who wish they'd been born into a simpler life as a straight male or female, it's interesting to me that a few gay friends have said the same: when they were struggling with their identity, before coming out and even afterward, they strongly, strongly wished that it had all been much simpler.

I guess that's one aspect that anti-gay zealots don't get: a person doesn't choose to be gay, and many have tried to choose not to be gay, but it doesn't work out in the long run. In the West, among the more notable / famous TGs, there are quite many stories of those who try their hardest to be straight men, but they cannot get past their mental wiring.

POL

[Guest]

I have also seen much narrow mindedness amongst some factions of the Gay community. This is surprising considering that they otherwise seem to crave acceptance for who and what they are, yet cannot afford it in equal measure to others.

Perhaps it's down to the 'mental wiring' as you say POL. And being 'gay' is not their only issue.

[Guest]

I also do not agree many LBs are ashamed of their dick. I don't know what experience some members have here, but for my own, which is embarassingly high, and in literally every country in Asia due to my job, I can only recall one girl being truly ashamed of her dick.

Also, I am coming around to a view, that LBs are far more of a continuum on the gender scale than we think; much like many of us are. But in society, there are only 2 binary accepted gender roles (roles being the collection of things that makes someone feminine or masculine, i.e., dress, work, speaking habits, toys, sports, etc), and so even though you might be in the middle of the continuum, to live a rational life, you have to force fit into one of those other binary genders.

If there were true complete freedom, we might find many LBs not 100% wanting to be female. Now, today, that is, I think largely true, but mainly because there are no other variants available to pick.

In times gone by, there were some gender roles like this. The American Indian berdache are perhaps the most documented ones, but Greek men used to love fucking young boys and both the men and boys were not viewed negatively or as effiminate. It is only relatively recently that the binary gender system really, harshly, got ingrained.

All this is a long-winded way to say, "Force-fitting a LB into a model of I want to be female and I'm ashamed of my dick and I want to cut it off", is just not true; there are far, far too many counter-examples to accept that simplistic view.

[Guest]

If I understand your thought Ziggy, I think you are saying that a LB's perception of their sexuality/gender can be fluid ? i.e not so easily reduced to terms of black/white, male/female.

I think this is quite so. As well meaning as it may seem, I think absolutes and easy labels in this complex area are problematic at best, and even 'woolly minded' as Professor Stogie has said in another connexion.  

My experience at least, demonstrates that these 'girls' while indeed seeing themselves as women in men's bodies, for the most part seem to work with what they've got.

And enjoy it !

[thegame925]

Each individual thinks differently (surprise! surprise!).

Of the two longest relationships that I have had with LB's, the first one, with whom I was with for 9.5 years had surgery on her breasts, hips, adam's apple and cheek bones, but never wanted her cock removed. She never topped, was only a bottom, but loved to have her cock played with. She always said that she loved sex, that her cock was the most sensitive part of her boday and no way was she having it cut off.

The second longest term relationship, which lasted 2.5 years, from Day One my partner said her dream was to have her cock removed and a vagina formed. She enjoyed having her cock played with during sex but said she was sure that when the skin from her penis formed her new vagina the sensations she felt would be even better.

And then. like everyone else, in other LB relationships, from the ST, to the LT to a weekend to a few months, then, when I have asked the question, it has been a 50/50 split between those that wanted to retain the equipment and those that wanted it removed.

The dichotomy is that as the surgical skills and knowledge to perform the operation successfully has improved, whilst in some ways the pressure for the surgery may have reduced. There is more acceptance of trans-gender in the West than there was in the past (honestly, there is, - I have experienced it on many levels in many cities in many countries).

[jadeite]

The top rated ladyboy youtube video is Tranny Chasers. I saw a lot of surprising parallels between this girl's position and a fair number of Thai ladyboys I have run across. She kind of loses it at the end and however.

[Guest]

(thegame925 @ Feb. 19 2007,17:21) And then. like everyone else, in other LB relationships, from the ST, to the LT to a weekend to a few months, then, when I have asked the question, it has been a 50/50 split between those that wanted to retain the equipment and those that wanted it removed.

I agree with your statement here, this has been my finding too. Some like what they have, they accept having it and when I have asked about their views on getting cut, they usually make a face and say they could never do the surgery. Some feel that even though they are women now, they live with the cock they were born with. Others, would lay down on the operating table in a second to get it taken off.

I have found too that even in their minds, they think about whether we are gay or not. I don't have them top me ever and I don't blow LB's either, but have had a few girls ask me if I wanted to suck them and when I said No, they would say something about my not being gay? I'm up for a blowjob any day or night but I'm not interested in reciprocating.

Call me selfish or what have you, but I love spending time with LB's, holding them, talking to them, playing with their fake boobs and getting the best blowjobs there is but do I feel guilty because I don't play with their cocks.....Not on your life. It's my baht and I figure I can show them just as decent a time doing it my way.

I have met some wonderful ladies in both BKK and Pattaya but the fact is, I do believe the majority look at us as ATM's, nothing more and nothing less. So I am very comfortable with the idea - I get what I want and they get what they want. I have never had a bad experience yet (keeping my fingers crossed) and they always go away very happy.

Nhscotsman

[donnnnnny]

ive met alot of ladyboys who told me they would never have the op. but then again who believes a ladyboy and what she says. asians tell you what they think you want to hear. welcome to asia

[thaibound]

(thegame925 @ Feb. 19 2007,03:21) She never topped, was only a bottom, but loved to have her cock played with. She always said that she loved sex, that her cock was the most sensitive part of her boday and no way was she having it cut off.

i've seen a gg with a 3 1/2" clit. bigger than some of the ladyboy penises i've seen. was she sometimes embarassed by how "erect" it got when stimulated? not lately. this girl loved oral like a sailor. think she'd consider having it "cut off" to make her more traditionally feminine?

sexual roles are in flux societally, genetically and physically. a ladyboy with a giant clit that shoots and a gspot inside her ass that drives her crazy when stimulated could find little need indeed to have her body mutilated to provide a 'second pussy' in a day and age where so many of us find her current state not only in no way lacking, but in fact, in many ways superior to the less-fortunately-endowed gg's we grew up embracing. and fucking.

rather than seeing myself (and many of you) as being a "bad match for ladyboys" i think it is a match better than any made in heaven, as it encourages new and creative means of interaction and self-expression, without requiring that either party disown or dismember the natural state into which they entered the world. but rather, embrace and enjoy. with a sexual passion i find unmatched by any other pairing of physical beings.

a perfect match.
with an atm as a bonus.