in love with a ladyboy

[pacman]

(lblavr @ Dec. 27 2011,19:47) I am so happy about your thoughts and inputs,especially as they have almost a scientific appearance,with clear thoughts and thoughtful conclusions!

This is a worthy thread. I hope others have taken note. Lblavr is not the first nor the last to discover his partner has been economical with the truth.

as of tomorrow I will be with her again for a few days and I will confront her.

Uh-oh...

I will demand access to her email and dating account and will offer the same to her about my email account.

Don't even think about it!! You are giving her the chance to talk you around, something I suspect you truly want.

Despite expressing your misgivings here, I don't think you are ready to give her up. By letting her explain her side of the story, you will be get to see why these girls are such masterful actors. However she spins the facts, you will be left with a litany of lies mixed with half-truths & you will simply cave in & accept her side of things.

This is why I wrote twice - DON"T CONTACT HER OR TRY TO TALK TO HER.

I have seen ladyboys in action, they are experts at manipulating the truth.

But if the point of posting was just to seek other opinions about your girl then you have them. What you do with the information & her is your business.

[pacman]

(azza33 @ Dec. 27 2011,21:15) Fascinating reading Foxxee.  

I agree. It was a very good post, both fascinating & honest.

Thank you Foxxee.

I wonder if some of the issues you are facing relate to age differences?

Careful Azza, you might cop a serve from the old bugger...

Actually the age gap isn't so big & isn't an issue as far as I know. I really thought they were perfect for each other.

[anicon]

..after reading the above comments on lblvr's new crush I have to agree with what everyone has said, it's time to make an exit & chalk this up to experience before you get in too deep like Talisha's BF did; remember that post!  

... wanna find out if they're playing games when they're on the internet chat or cam; just get another user id on yahoo or whatever other messenger you use & pretend to be someone else and see how she will respond to your questions, you might be amused at how they use the same lines on the 'new guy' as they did you.  I've tried this myself a few times and my suspicions were confirmed, they were 'fishing' for new honeys as if I had been long departed ...  

.. the first thing I would do is quietly get your ring back before you say anything to her about this situation and send her off before you get taken for any more, and don't let her lay the guilt trip on you, they always use that as a last resort trying to get you to change your mind & let them hang on.  It's truly amazing what logic these LBs use while in a relationship, they continue their quest looking for replacements as if the current relationship had already ended, thus making their fears of it possibly ending a reality when they get caught looking elsewhere!  

[f0xxee]

Hi Azza,

THanks mate and regarding the age difference it is certainly a part of it. I hit 50 early next year, she hits 28. I am far more aware of my waning mortality (don't get me wrong:- I am not feeling like shuffling off just yet, or buying a cardigan, I am just aware I have a finite number of days left to work and make money and take care of the future) whereas she is typically Thai and not really looking much past her nose.
Now a few including LBQ here know the Missus. She is not silly, or stupid, or a faker or a liar. She is a very good hearted person and I love her. But it has become apparent that what I worry about I worry about alone. And what she worries about heaven only knows.

Also, and I was only discussing this with my best Thai mate the other day, she is from a village community in the Nth East. There is a certain charm and flavour to life in these villages, and wearing a watch or knowing what day it is is not normally of concern to the locals. They may die of jealous spouses, drunken accidents in cars and on motorbikes, but rarely of hard work. I don't condemn them for this: If I had my rathers I would be happily idle too. Unfortunately I was born elsewhere and have a work ethic, and can plan, and organise and am PUNCTUAL and therefore find myself frustrated, as all efforts to build a future ride on my shoulders alone, with little real care from my partner due mainly to a lack of understanding rather than a shortfall of compassion.

I think it is what is perceived as a lack of motivation to western eyes that is the problem, but whether this is a true lack of motivation or exists only through falang eyes is arguable.

There is also what feels like a lack of passion and emotion that seems apparent to me. I hinted at this is my previous post. Maybe I am more needy than most, but I do need a sniff-kiss now and again to make me feel loved.

I am looking at living in Thailand for life. There is no pension, no safety net. What ever I create as an income stream in the next 15 years is what I will be left with. I have been wiped out by divorce at 40, and am back on my feet and just past break even at 50. I look down the barrel every day of my future. And I ask myself, "Will this person love, care and protect me when I am 75? When I have stopped being an asset, and start to become a liability?"
And the sad truth is I really don't know. And I can't risk that uncertainty.

OK there are a few personal issues too: but as I love this person they shall remain personal. Its enough to say you can't have two tops in the same family. There is also an underlying and silent thought in my head that, since like most ladyboys from TH she prefers gay muscle boy porn, that sooner or later someones cock is going to wander.

Azza, you started this by asking about the age differences. And I think it really is the biggest driver of all of the above. You can't and shouldn't expect to put an old head on young shoulders. Nor should you expect a 28 year to have the same anxieties. If anything Thais are probably better able to bridge an age difference than a western woman, as they are at least respectful to their elders and brought up to venerate wisdom.

But the cultural differences are what tip the scales in favour of resolution while a friendship remains. For that is what we have become: best friends who truly love each other. But how long this can last while we are both unfulfilled in different facets of our needs is the question.
As such we have decided to move on by building a small mini-resort in her home village, which has several wonderful tourist attractions close by, with a restaurant attached. I hopeful this will give her the motivation to work (a big bone of contention between us: I can't help but get pissed when I am stressed out and she has spent 8 hours playing Angry Birds son an iPad) and to give her and her family an income stream besides the farm into the future. We hope to remain friends and I hope to be part of her family until I am old.

Where the future goes I don't know. I have a few thoughts, and may share them another time.

But it probably will not include a ladyboy.

Cheers Azza,

JF

[f0xxee]

Back on topic (And apologies for my detour last post)

Lblavr, Demanding to see someones emails and posts is wrong on many levels.
Firstly its harmful to yourself. You are creating your own misery here. Once you open her inbox then you will know... and it might be far worse than you suspect. Do you really need to twist the knife in your guts so much? Do you need to humiliate her to the point of anger?

EVERYONE is entitled to privacy. Don't do this. You either trust or you don't.

Secondly: What is the point of trying to love someone that you obviously don't trust? How do you plan to manage your next period of separation? Its the ultimate truth that without trust there is no love... only unhealthy obsession. Heed this please.

Lastly: Are you interested in loving this girl or winning the battle? It seems to me you are more interested in salvaging a victory that being in love. You can't bludgeon someone into loving you. Or respecting you. Or being honest to you. It seems to me you are looking to win the moral high ground at any cost...

And my friend, to me and probably the others the prize doesn't seem worth winning.

Sorry for the tough love. I hope the ache stops soon, but I think you need to see this is a dry gully love-wise, and full of pain and frustration and loss of self respect if you continue to travel it.

[Torurot]

My email accounts are private to me. They are not facebook where there is no expectation of ANY privacy. Mostly they are trivial, and may as well be public.  I may CHOOSE to show individual emails to someone, but I would never share the keys to the box! Why would you expect someone to show you every private thought?

EVERYONE is entitled to their privacy, whether a physical diary, or an online form.  You want trust then you have to give some, even if the other is not showing too much reciprocation  

Serious topic, and a serious response. Which, if any of the following are you prepared to accept, not allow, just accept, this is what you must be clear on


A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she€™ll see him later, and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, €œWho was that??!!€

€œOh,€ replies the husband, €œthat was my mistress.€

The wife says, €œThat€™s it; I want a divorce.€

€œI understand,€ replies her husband, €œbut, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours.€

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman.

€œWho€™s that woman with Jim?€ she asks.

€œThat€™s his mistress,€ replies her husband.

€œOurs is prettier,€ says the wife.    


So there is your choice.... up to you..    

[L B F]

Great anecdote...

Great thread and reminds me of what was once great about this forum.

[f0xxee]

Hi LBQ,

Yeah me too. It was only after making the posts here that I realised that i would never have made the same posts in a general "open slather" forum. To do so would be to invite flaming and trolls and all the wanker/spankers that know nothing of Thailand or ladyboys either. Its nice to post where you feel safe to lay a little of your heart on the line.

As I stated I really don't know how prominent a part ladyboys will play in my future. I can' t imagine I will drop off the scene entirely, or that I will give them up like a bad habit. They are not the problem, I am just not rich enough or kind enough to take on an extra dependant.
They are still adorable and fun. And It would be nice to have LBQ around to enjoy the ride.

[TEXASMAC]

[BAM]

The guys she was communicating with could just be friends ... unless you catch her in bed with some other guy you can't think she is.

[guydesavoy]

(lblavr @ Dec. 27 2011,19:47) ...
as of tomorrow I will be with her again for a few days and I will confront her.
I will demand access to her email and dating account and will offer the same to her about my email account.
From there on I will take a decision.
so by the 1 January things will hopefully be straight

ps: she has been a post-op for exactly 1 year and as she states on the dating site she is "very attractive".
nevertheless she told me 2 months ago that those mails meant nothing as it is very difficult for a post op to find a man anyway and I should I should not worry and trust her.

Having been there and done that many times, I will be very interested to see the further 'justifications' for all her transgressions..    
(Please share them with us   )

At the risk of sounding blatantly two-faced, I must half agree with Torurot. My emails might be sacred, but in the circumstances, and with her 'form', I'd be inclined to take a peek    

Seems she's been caught in flagrante delicto as it were  

I'm sure there will be more crocodile tears to come and half-confessions.. just remember, they will only admit to what they already know you know.
You will never get the truth out of one of these creatures voluntarily  

I say get out while you can  

[pacman]

(guydesavoy @ Jan. 03 2012,20:07) I say get out while you can  

That is the message Lblavr has been getting from most of us. Cut his losses & run.

HOWEVER, I am not sure he is actually ready to give her up. Some people are so in love with the idea of being in love that when they actually experience it, it is almost impossible to drag themself away from it.

Love does act on the brain like an opiate & can lead to incredibly self destructive behaviour. I don't believe anyone can change someone's feelings, he asked for our opinion, he has it, now it is up to him.

[Bobcat]

Guys I hope we haven't scared lblvr off completely. He said he would make a decision after the 1st it's the 5th now and we have dominated his post. I agree it's great to see postings with fervour like the past of TLF. I also agree that the closed area allows a form of intimacy so one can give it as it is without twats that don't get the Los lb scene. Lblvr look at Titian he,s so far so good. Never met the girl but from what it seems was a pro p4p and a looker. Humble guy teaching pulled stumps from the UK and she is selling candy. Fairy Tale & I would like to think its got legs. What you put in life I believe you get back out. But sit back let her feel nervous and want to love you. Don't open Pandoras box, be laise fair. If she stays with it who knows if she gets bored you will know. Then you can move on. Sadly in life there is the lover and the loved. I think we know which one you are. How that works with Thai culture & the scene could well be a conundrum. Good luck   Only 2 months to go and it's the only thing I can think about