Being a four foot, ten inch tall boy at the age of thirteen isn't easy. I
got teased a lot and I've never been able to put up with all of the short
jokes. Worse yet, the doctor's told Mom that I couldn't be expected to grow
more than two to three inches even with my upcoming growth surge. I was
stuck as a midget forever.
Tom Morris and George Harlon had just finished their daily round of abusing
me; you know the routine; "Does your Mommy know you're here?" and too many
other stupid jokes to talk about. This time though they were going to pay,
just like every other kid who had abused me had paid.
Tom's red sports car was the love of his life; I doubt that he thought as
much of his girlfriend as he did that car. That was what I'd use to make
him pay. I carefully gathered up a few piles of dog crap in a plastic bag
then dumped them all over the front seat of his precious little car. I knew
that he had a habit of jumping into the car without looking so he'd never
know what was waiting until it was too late. Just for added measure though
I stuck the end of a pair of nail clippers into the valves on two of his
tires, flattening them.
George, as Tom's best friend, got a ride home every afternoon in Tom's car
so he'd also share in the delightful little trap I laid on the front
seat. Of course, the day being very warm and muggy would only add to their
enjoyment when they got into the car! With two flat tires and only one
spare they'd have to walk home. A hot sunny day, smelling like fresh dog
crap, my targets would certainly remember this day!
Unfortunately, their parents were none too thrilled about cleaning the
clothes that Tom and George wore or the front seat of the car. I got called
into the Vice Principal's office the next day along with my mother.
"This makes the third time this month I've had to discipline you Jim," The
vice principal solemnly intoned. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Only three times" I joked. "Guess I'm having a bad month, I'll try harder
though!"
For some strange reason the Vice Principal didn't think I was funny. "No,
you won't try harder here young man. I've had nothing but trouble with you
for the last three years. You spend more time in my office than I do."
"Do you see a problem?" I asked flippantly. "Let's hope the principal
doesn't find out that you're shirking your job."
His face turned the same color as Tom's car and his veins bulged in his
neck. "You won't be the one to tell him," The vice principal screamed. "As
of today you have to find another school. You're expelled!"
"Please wait," Mom pleaded. "He'll change, I promise he will." "I'm sorry
Mrs. Koor, but you've said that too many times." He told Mom as he handed
her the official papers. I'm afraid it's just too late. I wish you luck
with James but I doubt you'll have it."
Mom was in tears as we left the school. Who would've figured they'd
actually expel me? Didn't I have a right to an education?
"We'll work something out," I casually remarked as we got into our
car. "Riverglenn isn't the only school in the world."
"It's more than that you troublemaking little snot!" Mom snarled. "There's
a summons waiting for us at home. It seems that Tom's family has decided to
press charges for the damage you did to his car."
"Hey," I shrugged. "He shouldn't have been messing with me. He got what he
deserved."
I got the back of my mother's hand across my mouth. "You don't get it, do
you?" She screamed. "They want to have you declared incorrigible and sent
away to a juvenile detention center until you're eighteen. Then they'd like
to have your useless butt thrown in jail for the rest of your life!"
"Never happen," I said flippantly just before Mom's hand lashed out again.
"Just shut up!" She yelled. "Not another word until I say so!"
When the hearing finally came I was stunned. The judge heard everyone's
story then pronounced me guilty as charged. One week later Mom and I
returned to hear the judge pass the sentence he had decided on. Not only
could I be sent away, the judge was recommending it! I wanted to cry when I
heard the judge sentence me to the next five years in a detention center.
"Please your honor," Mom begged and cried. "He's all that I have since my
husband died years ago. I know he's a problem but for God's sake there must
be another way. I couldn't go on without him."
The judge thought for a moment then shook his head. "I don't think that he
deserves it, but I will give you another chance. My secretary will give you
the name of a psychologist that has worked wonders with delinquent boys in
the past. Make an appointment and talk to the lady, if you can reach some
agreement I'll suspend the sentence."
"Thank you, your honor." Mom cried. "I promise that we'll work something
out, whatever it may take."
I felt like Mom had sold out by giving into the judge but I figured that
seeing a shrink was better than five years in a kid's jail. Mom made an
appointment but to my surprise the lady wanted to see Mom alone for the
first several visits. It was only after Mom had met with her five times
already that I was to go one the sixth visit. Seemed goofy to me, if I'm
the one who has to see a shrink, why was Mom the only one going? Of course,
it didn't matter, I really didn't want to see a shrink, and it was just a
way to stay out of kiddy prison.
Mom gave our names to the receptionist and we were led to a small office
where we met the shrink, a woman named Mrs. Donigan. She and Mom talked for
a few minutes about how I'd been a problem since my Dad died four years
ago.
"Without a male influence, he's become uncontrollable." Mom told her. "I
hope this will work."
"It hasn't failed yet," Mrs. Donigan smiled. "Fifty patients in the last
three years and not a single complaint."
"Then let's get on with it," Mom sighed. "I just wish..."
"I know Linda," The shrink told her. "If there was any other way, we'd
certainly try that first."
Turning to me she smiled. "I'd like to speak to your Mom privately in the
hall. Would you give us a minute please?"
I shrugged and nodded my head. Mom brushed my long, unkempt, hair away from
my eyes and gave me a funny look before she walked out.
Mrs. Donigan smiled at me and put a CD into a stereo behind her
desk. "Something to listen to while I talk to your Mom." She smiled at me
one last time then followed Mom out of the office.
I heard a familiar hit song start to play but that's all I remembered until
Mom and the shrink came back. By then the music had stopped and I was
rubbing my eyes, feeling bored and a little sleepy.
"All right Jimmy," Mrs. Donigan told me. "I guess you want to know what's
going to happen to you."
"Hey, I talk, you listen. What's so tough about that?" I asked.
"No dear," Mom said firmly. "Mrs. Donigan and I are going to make some
changes in your life. You probably won't like them now but you'll get used
to them and you'll probably even start to enjoy your new life."
"What new life? I thought I was coming to talk while she listens."
"No dear, that's not it." Mom said softly. "I've had a few meetings with
Mrs. Donigan here and we decided that there wasn't a thing to talk to you
about. You and I have tried that in the past and it never worked. It's time
to quit talking and make a few changes."
"Like what?" I asked, feeling ticked off. What nerve they had to talk about
me behind my back.
Mom started to talk but she couldn't seem to get the words out
right. "You're too aggressive... I can't handle it... going to calm you
down..."
She shook her head and gave up. "I can't do it," She told Mrs.
Donigan. "Will you please take over?"
Mrs. Donigan nodded to Mom then turned to me. "What your Mom is trying to
say is that you've become far too aggressive since your puberty
started. You should have had an adult male to channel that aggression but
that couldn't be. You're mother and I have agreed that if you're over
aggressive male behavior is left unchecked; you'll end up either in prison
or dead. Since she doesn't want to see either happen we've decided to take
steps to calm you down, make you easier to get along with."
"We're going to turn you into a little girl." Mom blurted out.
"Are you nuts?" I laughed. "Just wave a magic wand and make me into a
sissy?"
"Not a sissy Jamie," Mrs. Donigan said firmly. "Only boys can be sissies
and you won't be a boy."
"You're nuts, both of you!" I shouted. "You can't just start calling me
Jamie and expect me to be a prissy little girl, it'll never happen."
"Watch the tape Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me as she turned on the small TV
next to her desk and slid a tape into the VCR.
I couldn't believe my eyes! There on the tape was a boy who looked just
like me being led into a room by a woman who looked just like my
mother. The woman told the boy to go behind a screen, take his clothes off
and hand them to her. She then handed him back a pair of girl's underpants
and a Tee shirt. He stepped out from behind the screen dressed in girl's
underwear and stood calmly while the woman put a slip, dress, socks and
shoes on him. She kissed him on the cheek and pointed to a table filled
with baby dolls. The boy skipped over to the table and spent a long time
playing "Mommy" to his "babies".
"This is a fantastic tape," I laughed. "It's great, but it's not me."
"Take off your shoes and socks Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered.
Suddenly I felt like I just had to get my shoes and socks off and wasted no
time in doing so. When I peeled off my socks I couldn't believe my eyes, my
toenails were painted pink!
"Loosen your belt and open your pants Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered while I
stared at my toes. "Feel your underwear."
I did as I was told and recoiled in shock as my hand touched a pair of
silky, girl's underpants!
"How?" I stammered. "How could you..."
"The music you listened to hypnotized you Jamie." Mrs. Donigan
explained. "It made you temporarily willing to do anything your Mom asked
of you."
"It better never happen again!" I insisted. "Do you understand?"
"No Jamie, you better understand." Mom broke in. "From now on you'll do as
you're told. The music also left a post hypnotic suggestion in your brain,
it can't keep you calm forever but it will keep you obedient long enough to
make a sweet little girl out of you. After that, the hormones will take
over and you won't have a choice."
"I have a choice now and I won't do it." I insisted. "I'll run away, you
can't stop me from doing that."
Mom smiled. "All right Jamie honey, put my lipstick back please."
I thought she was nuts until I saw the tube of lipstick in my hand and
tasted it on my lips.
"Tell me I didn't just put your lipstick on." I asked hesitantly.
"Mom smiled again and handed me her compact. Sure enough, the face staring
back at me had lipstick on.
"I don't remember anything," I cried. "What's happening to me?"
"Just a demonstration of how obedient you really will be," Mom
smiled. "Besides it's already too late to run away."
I looked at her quizzically.
"Do you feel just a little soreness on the inside of your left thigh, right
about here?" She asked, motioning with her hand.
"A little, now that you mention it. Why?"
"A time release implant of female hormones," Mom coldly replied. "That's
why it's too late to run away; you're already on your way to becoming a
girl. You'll probably notice the mental changes first; you'll take more of
in interest in pretty clothes, and playing girl games. The physical changes
will happen in a couple of years when you go through puberty. Right now
there won't be anything unusual for a nine year old girl though."
"Nine year old girl, what are you talking about? I'm going to be fourteen
on my next birthday and I'm a boy." I protested.
"No dear, you're my nine year old daughter Jamie." Mom corrected me. "You
haven't done well in school since you were nine so I'm staring you over at
that age."
"Not many people ever get the chance to go back and correct mistakes made
when they were younger Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me. "You're a very lucky
girl."
"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I'm a boy, a boy, a boy!"
Mom gave me that strange smile again. "How old are you?" She asked sweetly.
"Four... I'm nine but I'll be a big girl soon."
"And what's your name?"
"Jamie Lynn Koor." I heard myself say.
"Are you a girl or a boy, Jamie?"
I wanted to scream "Boy" but I couldn't, I just couldn't, the words
wouldn't come out. Instead I heard myself giggle and say, "That's silly,
I'm a girl."
"What's happening?" I cried, terrified of what had happened.
"You've just witnessed what will happen whenever anyone asks you those
kinds of questions Jamie." Mrs. Donigan said with a smile. "You know you're
really a boy, you know what you're real age is, but you'll never be able to
tell anyone."
"From now on you're my pretty little daughter, Jamie Lynn. Right?" Mom
asked.
"No!" I hissed. "I'll never go along with this stupid idea of yours, I'm
a..."
Suddenly I stopped in mid sentence. I opened my mouth to finish what I
started to say but different words came out. "I'm a nine year old girl, my
name is Jamie Lynn, and I like kitty cats and puppy dogs."
Mom smiled at me. "I suggest you sit quietly and listen Jamie dear, there's
no point in trying to argue."
Mom and Mrs. Donigan explained everything in chilling detail. Mom and I
would be moving to another state where no one knew us, instead of going to
the ninth grade in the fall, I'd be starting the fourth grade. The hormones
being released into my body would eventually change my shape into that of a
little girl. As time went on I would experience the same changes that any
other girl my age would experience. My body would round out, and I'd settle
into the everyday life of a girl.
"Before your body changes though you'll experience some mental changes."
Mrs. Donigan explained. "You'll be much calmer, far easier to get along
with, and you'll see the world differently. In short Jamie, with each
passing day you'll become a sweet little girl."
I was horror stricken. "You can't really do that, can you? I mean I'll
always be a boy."
Mom shook her head "The hormones will do it Jamie, and no, there is no
stopping them. Soon puppies and kittens will be very important to you, as
will baby dolls. It's all part of being a girl."
"No way!" I retorted. "I'll never play with baby dolls; no one can make me
do that!"
I saw Mom's lips move but I don't remember hearing her say
anything. Suddenly I felt very odd; I was holding something that I didn't
remember picking up. Looking down in my lap I shuddered as I saw the baby
doll that I was cradling in one arm while feeding it a bottle. I tired to
throw the doll away but instead ended up holding it and pretending to burp
it.
"What happened?" I asked trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind. "Where
did this come from?" I asked while still cuddling the baby doll.
"You've been holding it for close to an hour now Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told
me. "You asked for your baby, said she was lonely."
I would have sworn she was nuts but I checked the watch in my pocket and
the time was right. An hour had passed without me knowing it! Mom didn't
know that I carried the watch so there was no way she could have reset it.
"Why don't you just tell me that I'm a little girl," I asked "You can make
me dress like one, and play with baby dolls. Why bother telling me about
it?"
"The hypnosis would never last that long Jamie," Mom explained. "It will
last long enough to over come any temporary objections you may have
though. Once we get past them, the hormones will take over and you'll start
to think of yourself as a girl."
"My company has a division in Arizona," Mom explained. "I explained
everything and they've been sweet enough to get me a transfer to that
division so that I can have the privacy which I'll need to raise my
daughter properly."
"Am I going to be a girl forever?" I stammered.
"The arrangement with the court is until you graduate from High School."
Mrs. Donigan told me. "At that time you can make your own decision as to
whether or not you want to be a male again."
"That's in four years," I found myself thinking aloud.
"No, that's in nine years," Mom said. "Remember, you're just nine years
old."
"Please don't do this to me Mom," I sobbed. "I can't be a girl; everyone
will know and laugh at me."
"No one will laugh Jamie," Mom told me as she pulled me close for a hug. It
was then that she dropped her bombshell. "No one will ever be able to
tell. You're going to have an operation that will tuck everything away and
make you look like any other girl. If you ever decide to be a boy again
everything will be put back to normal and no one will ever know."
I don't remember much of what was said after that; I was too busy crying to
hear what they were saying. Finally Mom dried my tears with a tissue,
thanked Mrs. Donigan for her help and walked me back to our car. I was in a
state of shock all the way home and collapsed on the sofa as soon as I got
in the door.
"Jamie, please come here." Mom called from my room.
For a brief second I thought about ignoring her but instead I got off the
sofa and walked to my room. It was like having no willpower of my own.
"I bought a few things for you earlier in the week," Mom said as she
gestured towards clothes on my bed. "Aren't they pretty?"
I looked at the ultra fancy party dress, the socks, girl's shoes, and
underwear on my bed and wanted to run. Instead I just nodded my head like a
good girl and agreed with Mom.
"Let's get you all prettied up, okay Jamie?" She asked. "I just know you're
going to look so cute."
"Do I have to Mom?" I asked, saying a silent prayer. "What if someone sees
me?"
"No one will see you dear," Mom told me as she began to unbutton my
shirt. "And it wouldn't matter; we won't be living here after a few weeks
anyhow."
She slipped my shirt off my back and reached for my belt.
"I can't do it Mom," I said as I held onto my belt. "I just really, really
can't."
There was that smile again.
"I just really, really, can't wait to see how pretty I look!"
I wanted to die. Imagine me, a fourteen year old boy, standing in front of
his mother and practically pleading to be dressed up like a little
girl. Beaten again, I undid my belt and jeans. I stepped out of my jeans
and stared down at the mint green panties with yellow flowers that I wore.
"How did you get these on me?" I asked out of morbid curiosity.
"You put them on yourself," Mom said with a silly looking grin. "I just
thought you'd like to wear something soft and pretty and I was right."
I was about to make a smart comment but I found myself rubbing my butt
through the panties. "They are awfully soft, and silky. Mine don't feel
anything like these."
"They do now Jamie," Mom laughed. "These are what you'll be wearing. Do you
like them?"
I wanted to scream at her and demand to be given my old underwear but the
silky feeling seemed to take over my thoughts.
"Yes, I guess so." I said timidly. "They feel different, nice, I guess."
Mom pulled me close and hugged me close. "Everything's going to be okay
Jamie, I promise. No one will laugh at you or tease you anymore. You're
going to be a cute girl and I'll take good care of you." "But what about
school and my friends Mom?" I asked through my tears.
"Name two people who would miss you?" Mom quizzed me. "Any two, teachers,
other students, it doesn't matter."
I thought about it for several minutes then broke down into sobs. "I can't
Mom, there aren't two people who would care if I lived or died."
"That's not true Jamie," she told me softly. "I love you and care about
you. I care enough to help you."
"By making me into a girl? How would that help?" I asked curtly.
"You're too short, and too thin to be accepted properly as a boy." Mom
explained. "Other boys would keep picking on you and you'd keep
retaliating. It would never end."
"But I don't look like a girl, do I?" I was afraid of the answer but
somehow I just had to ask.
"I'm sorry honey, but yes you do. You're actually a little shorter than
average but as a girl, that won't matter. You'll be a sweet girl that
everyone will love."
"But how can I be a girl Mom, I don't know anything about being a girls."
Even while I tried my best to argue my way out of the situation I was
holding up my arms while Mom lowered this really fancy thing she called a
petticoat over them.
It must have been another of her suggestions but I just stood there feeling
silly in a sea of ruffles and nylon.
"You will sweetie, just wait. You're going to be taught all about being a
girl; you'll learn about clothes, and games, and how to act and talk just
like a girl. While you're learning these things you'll also be conditioned
to think of yourself as a little girl."
"It's bad enough that you're going to turn me into a girl but I would've
been in high school, now I'll be some little girl in Elementary School!"
"Don't worry honey, you'll grow up and be a young lady soon enough, for now
though you have to relax and trust me." Mom said as she picked up the dress
she wanted me to wear.
"Please Mom, not a dress like that." I cried as she picked up a yellow
dress with sheer, puffy sleeves, a skirt that seemed to go on forever, and
a bright yellow satin sash.
I had seen little girls wearing that type of dress. They always looked so
delicate and angelic, neither of which I wanted to be or even look like. I
couldn't even hope to pretend to be a boy in a dress like that and
something told me that if Mom ever got that dress over my head I could
forget about being a boy for a while. I started to struggle but it was no
use. Once again Mom smiled and said something I didn't understand and the
next thing I knew she was buttoning up the back of the dress. Beaten, I
stood meekly while she tied the sash into an enormous bow then sat like a
good little girl, my hands folded in my lap, while Mom put lace anklets and
a pair of black Mary Jane's on my feet.
Thoroughly humiliated, I sat while Mom brushed out my long hair then tied a
yellow ribbon into my new ponytail.
"You look so pretty Jamie, why don't you look in the mirror!" Mom told me
after making sure my dress covered my petticoat.
I tried not to get up but my feet had a mind of their own and led me
straight to a large full length mirror where I saw this cute little girl
all dressed up for a party. I broke down and sobbed, there was no way that
little girl could have been me but she was. I was a fourteen year old boy
damn it, but the mirror said otherwise. No one would look at me and see
anything but an adorable little girl.
"Tell me you honestly don't like the way you feel right now Jamie." Mom
pressed. "Try to tell me that you don't like the way your panties feel and
that you really don't like feeling the cool air as it swirls under your
dress."
"I don't like it Mom," I screamed, amazed that I had gotten away with
it. "I don't want to be a girl, get me out of this stuff!" I twisted and
turned, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach the buttons that
held me in my frilly prison. Without help, I was stuck. Stuck as a nine
year old girl in a frilly dress and even frillier underwear!
Mom shook her head in dismay. "Calm down Jamie, I don't want you messing up
your new dress."
I refused to calm down though and began even wilder gyrations, trying to
remove the hated dress.
Mom said something, then she smiled at me and I immediately calmed down. I
stared in the mirror for a few seconds then my hands began to flip my dress
back and forth. Soon I was smiling and giggling, twirling back and forth in
front of the mirror, like any other girl, thrilled to be wearing such a
pretty dress.
"Good girl," Mom exclaimed happily. "I knew you'd love the way your new
clothes felt. It's fun to be a girl, you get to wear such pretty clothes
and they'll feel so much better than anything you've ever worn before."
"It's such a pretty dress Mommy, I love it!" I exclaimed as I rushed over
and gave her a kiss. "Can we go out somewhere so I can show everyone how
pretty my new dress is?"
The kiss jolted me back to reality. What had I done, calling her Mommy and
begging her to take me out in public, dressed like this? I couldn't help
myself though; Mommy's suggestions just seemed like so much fun!
"How about a trip to the mall, we can shop for some more pretty dresses,
would you like that?"
I managed to call up enough reserve will power to break though the
fog. "What have you done to me?"
"Nothing much," Mom said with a sly grin. "Just made things a little easier
on you. Shortened your adjustment period you might say. You're going to
think of yourself as a girl for a few hours while we go shopping. And
you'll call me Mommy from now on; I think it sounds so cute."
Promise me that no one will know who I am, please Mommy?"
There were times I had begged Mom for a special present for Christmas or my
birthday but that begging was nothing compared to the intensity I poured
into my begging now.
"It's okay Jamie," Mom said softly. "Relax and be a girl, relax and be a
girl."
I stared at Mommy for a little while a feeling of warmth and security
flowed over me. What was so bad about going to the mall, I wondered? Mommy
would be with me and she promised to get me some pretty dresses.
"Can we go now Mommy?" I asked. "I want to look at all the pretty clothes!"
What was I doing? I didn't want to wear these clothes, I didn't want to go
anywhere, and I sure didn't want to shop for more dresses yet I couldn't
stop myself. I felt all excited about going out with my Mommy, showing off
my pretty dress, and couldn't wait for Mommy to buy me more pretty things.
"Here's a nice little purse for you Jamie," Mommy said as she handed me a
yellow, patent leather purse with a big flower decal on it. "I put some
tissues in it for you and even a little wallet."
I was so excited as I opened my new purse. Mommy had placed a small package
of tissues in it along with a yellow change purse with some coins, and a
yellow wallet with a dollar bill in it.
"Thank you for the money Mommy!" I squealed in delight. "Maybe I could buy
an ice cream cone while we're shopping?"
"It's your money Jamie," Mommy smiled sweetly. "You can spend it on
anything you like."
"Just like a big girl!" I exclaimed.
I held Mommy's hand and skipped through the parking lot at the mall. Once
inside I kept a very tight grip on Mommy's hand, there might be bad
strangers around and I didn't want to be separated from my Mommy.
It was fun walking through the big mall with all those people. A lot of
ladies that saw me and Mommy stopped to tell me how pretty I looked and
what a pretty dress I had on. I wanted Mommy to be proud of me so, like a
big girl, I smiled and thanked all of the ladies who stopped to talk to us.
We bought lots of pretty stuff for me like underwear, and PJ's, dresses,
and some play clothes too. I guess lots of girls like me must like Winnie
the Pooh because the stores had all kinds of stuff with Winnie and his
friends on them. I got a nightgown with Winnie on it, another with Tigger,
and a third one with Roo on it. They're so pretty and comfy, I can't wait
to go home and put one on but I don't know which one I'll wear first since
they're all so cute!
Mommy let me pick out some underwear all by myself, which was really neat
'cause I picked some real pretty panties with ruffles and bows on
them. Mommy said they're made of something called Nylon, just like the
panties I had on and the silky part of my petticoat.
Mommy went with me into the dressing room and helped me out of my dress and
petticoat so I could try on lots of other pretty dresses and clothes. I
hated to take off my pretty dress and especially my fluffy petticoat but
Mommy said that if I didn't I couldn't try on any new ones so I was a good
girl and held very still while Mommy undid my dress and helped me out of my
petticoat.
Mommy picked out a light purple dress that wasn't anywhere near as pretty
and fancy as my party dress but the material was so soft that I just knew
it would be so much fun and comfy to wear. Next I had to try on a white
skirt and pink top, which was soft and comfy, like the purple dress so I
asked Mommy to buy them for me.
Mommy made me really happy when she handed me this cute blue top with a big
picture of a unicorn on it. It felt so nice and comfy and when I put it on
it fit me perfectly so Mommy said since I was such a good little girl I
could have that one too!
I also got a couple of shorts sets that were made out of a silky material
that gave me goose bumps when I first tried them on! They looked so neat;
I'd seen other girls wearing them and had always wanted a pair, now I was
going to get a whole bunch of them in pink, purple, red, and light blue.
Mommy said that I didn't need dresses for school since I'd have to wear a
skirt and blouse uniform in my new school. I can't seem to remember much at
all about my old school, but Mommy said it wasn't very nice and that I was
going to have a good time in my new school so I guess it's not that
important.
I got lots of neat stuff that night, a couple of skirts, some dresses,
oodles of undies, shorts, and tops too. Mommy even bought me a couple of
pairs of stockings like big girls wear; she said I could wear them the next
time I get dressed up. When Mommy finished paying for everything we took
all of my new clothes to our car then went back for the ice cream Mommy
promised to let me buy.
"Mommy, I have to go to the girl's room." I told her as I skipped back to
the mall. "Can you come with me?"
"Of course I can honey," Mom told me. "I don't want you getting lost or
meeting up with any mean strangers."
When we go to the ladies bathroom I sort of felt that something was wrong
but Mommy squeezed my hand and told me how much she loved me which took
away all of the bad feelings. I went into a stall, picked up my dress and
pulled down my panties to go, and then I put everything back the way it was
so that I'd be just as pretty as when Mommy put my dress on me. I wouldn't
want anyone to see me without panties on because Mommy said that I'm just a
little different than other girls but we're going to get that fixed real
soon. That night I put on a blue nightgown with teddy bears all over it,
curled up under my sheets, gave Mommy a goodnight kiss, then went to sleep
dreaming about all of my pretty new clothes.
The next morning I woke up because I had a bad dream. I dreamed that Mommy
and I were shopping for new dresses for me when everyone started to point
at me and laugh, saying that I was a sissy boy in a dress. I couldn't
figure out why I would have such a horrible dream until I got up to go to
the bathroom and saw the nightgown I was wearing. That was bad enough but
when I got into the bathroom and lifted the nightgown I found that I was
also wearing a pair of pink nylon panties with ruffles across the seat. It
hadn't been a dream, it was a nightmare I found when I went to my closet
and saw all of the new clothes. Mommy really had taken me to the mall as a
little girl and bought me girl's clothes!
"Mommy, what happened?" I screamed from my room. "Please tell me you didn't
take me anywhere!"
"Calm down Jamie," Mommy said as she came into my room. "You were the
perfect little lady and had a wonderful time."
"But people saw me in that yellow party dress you made me wear!" I
cried. "They must have laughed their heads off."
"No one laughed at you Jamie," Mom said firmly. "Several ladies did stop to
compliment you on how pretty you looked. You were such a sweet girl,
smiling and thanking them. I was so proud of you!"
Memories of holding Mommy's hand, skipping through the parking lot, a
breeze gently lifting my petticoat and blowing across my ruffled, pantied
butt, came rushing back to me. I could see the ladies smiling as they
approached us, leaning over to get a better look at my dress and telling me
how cute I was and I could hear my girlish sounding voice thanking them.
"How Mommy, how did you do that to me?" I asked in wonder. "I remember
being such a little sissy in that dress, then trying on other clothes."
Mom shrugged. "It was easy." She said with a laugh. "One of the suggestions
Mrs. Donigan and I planted in your brain was that you'll become a little
girl when ever I tell you to. You'll forget all about being a boy and be
the sweetest little girl a mother could ever hope for. You spent half of
yesterday afternoon and all of the evening as a nine year old girl."
"Oh my God," I lamented. "You can turn me on and off like a light bulb?"
"Sort of," Mom giggled. "But don't worry; I won't do it to embarrass you or
anything. You're going to be reluctant to do what needs done at first
Jamie, so I'll need to use it to help you over the rough spots. Once you
get used to being a girl and the hormones start to work I won't need it as
much."
"No Mommy," I started to shout. "It isn't right; you can't make me think
that I'm a little girl."
"You mean you're not my little girl?" I heard Mommy ask.
"You're silly Mommy," I giggled. "Who else's little girl would I be?"
"Damn!" I hissed. "Quit that!"
"Just as soon as I'm sure you're really my little girl Jamie." Mommy said
slowly. "What do you want to wear today?"
"It sure won't be that dress again!" I told her. Suddenly I felt
confused. I loved my pretty dress, what was wrong with wearing it again?
"How about one of your pretty new running shorts sets?" Mommy offered. "I'm
sure they'll be comfortable and I'll bet you'll like they way they feel
too."
"Okay Mommy, I'll wear the pink ones!" I agreed and rushed off to change.
My ruffled panties didn't look good under my shorts so I pulled out a
plainer pair from my drawer.
"Now how did I get a drawer full of panties?" I wondered to myself. "Mommy
must have unpacked for me," I thought suddenly. "She so nice, I'll have to
give her a couple of extra kisses!"
I changed m panties and pulled on my shorts, noticing that they looked so
much nicer without the bulges from my ruffled panties. I hated to have to
take off my ruffled ones because they made me feel so good but even these
plain white ones made out of that nylon stuff made me feel so pretty!
I brushed out my long blonde hair, grabbed a hot pink ponytail holder off
my dresser (I don't remember them being there before but suddenly I've got
a dozen in all different colors.), and then ran out to show Mommy how I
looked.
"Mommy, Mommy, my new shorts are so nice!" I called out as I rushed to her
open arms. "Thank you Mommy," I said as I smothered her with kisses.
"My goodness, I'm getting all kinds of kisses," Mommy laughed. "What's the
special occasion?"
"I just wanted to say thanks for all of the pretty clothes you bought me
and tell you that I think you're the most wonderful Mommy a girl could
have!"
"You're most welcome Jamie," Mom told me as she held me tight. "I'm just
happy to have such a sweet, pretty little girl like you for a daughter."
We hugged each other for a couple of minutes before I suddenly realized
what I had done. I started to tense up but then I heard Mommy's soft voice.
"Calm down Jamie," She was telling me. "Everything's okay."
"How can it be okay?" I sobbed pitifully. "I'm all dressed up like a little
girl waiting for her Mommy to fix her ponytail. I just took off a pair of
sissy looking panties, but put on another pair of panties instead of my own
underwear. Speaking of which, how did I get a drawer full of panties and
where is my underwear?"
"You are a little girl Jamie, there's nothing wrong with dressing like
one. Your old underwear and all of your old clothes are gone. You have a
lot of pretty outfits now so you won't need those ugly boy clothes
anymore."
"No, you can't do this Mommy, you just can't." I screamed through my tears.
"That will be enough of that young lady," I heard Mommy say in a stern
voice. Then she whispered those words again, "Relax and be a girl Jamie,
relax and be a girl."
I started to feel funny. I knew she was making me think I was a girl again
but this time she wouldn't get away with it. I was to going to fight these
feelings with every ounce of strength I had! A fog started to cloud my
mind. I knew that if I let it in, I'd become a little girl named Jamie
again.
"What do you want to do today Jamie?" I heard Mom ask through the
descending fog. I concentrated as hard as I could but all of a sudden I
heard myself say, "Can I get my ears pierced Mommy? A lot of girls my age
have their ears pierced."
Good grief, what in heaven's name was I doing? I couldn't believe I was
asking Mommy to let me get my ears pierced. Hopefully she hadn't picked up
on what I had said.
"That's a wonderful idea Jamie!" Mom clapped her hands in glee. "I think
you're big enough to wear pierced earrings. We'll get you several different
pairs so you'll be able to match them with any outfit you wear."
"Oh joy," I thought to myself. "Earrings for every outfit, what more could
a guy ask for?"
"Thank you Mommy," I found myself saying. "I can't wait to see how pretty
I'll look." It was as if I was another person altogether. Where were these
thoughts and feelings coming from?
"Mommy," I asked. "Could I ask a question please?"
"Go right ahead sweetheart," Mommy smiled. "I'm listening."
"Why did I ask for pierced ears? I've never thought about them before."
"Yes you have sweetie," Mom explained. "All of the things that you've seen
or heard little girls do as you were growing up were stored in your brain
at some point. When I tell you to be a girl, you start to act the way you
think a girl would. Don't you want to wear pretty earrings?"
"Yes, I do Mommy!" I giggled excitedly. "I can't wait to get my ears
pierced and wear earrings like a grown up lady."
"Then it's all settled, we'll get your ears pierced this afternoon and
maybe an ice cream cone for being so brave!"
"Goody, goody, Ice cream!" I shouted while jumping up and down. "I love ice
cream!"
Once again, reality crashed in on my new little world. "Tell me I didn't do
what I think I just did." I asked lamely.
"Afraid so," Mom said with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, but you were getting to
be a pain in the butt for a minute there. I missed my sweet daughter."
With no more room for discussion and no stomach for a tantrum I waited for
Mommy to dress then followed her to the car and off to get my ears pierced.
Once we got to the mall I was dragging my feet, trying to delay what I knew
was unavoidable. Mommy had to ask me to walk faster several times and I
could tell that she was becoming irritated with me.
"Pay attention young lady," She said sternly. "You can either quit stalling
and get this over with on your own or once we get into the mall, I will put
you over my knee, pull your pants down and spank you! Do you want everyone
to see your pretty panties while I spank you?"
"No Mommy, I'll be good." I promised. "Please don't spank me."
"Good girl," Mommy told me as she patted me on the head. "Now take my hand
and walk with me."
I hesitated for a second or so until Mommy turned and gave me that
look. Before she could say anything I quickly grabbed her hand and promised
to be a good girl. What's really weird is even though she hadn't told me
become a girl I suddenly felt happy and secure holding her hand and walking
with her. Could there be some left over effects of thinking of myself as a
girl, I wondered?
Mom wasted no time, taking me directly to a jewelry store that had a big
sign advertising ear piercing. As we walked into the shop I panicked and
began to pull back. I ran out of the store and sat on a bench. Mommy looked
at me very crossly then leaned over and whispered to me.
"You don't want to be nine years old, do you Jamie?" She asked. "How about
being fourteen and in high school?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please Mommy!"
Mommy had an evil grin on her face. "Fine, you can be a fourteen year old
girl in your old school. You'll look great with a cute figure. I'll bet
some of your old classmates would find you quite attractive. You have ten
seconds to get over there and get your ears pierced or you're going back to
your old school young lady!"
I didn't need any further prodding; I was on my way back into the store
before she could count to two.
"My daughter would like to get her ears pierced," Mommy told the clerk.
"May I pick out some pretty earrings too Mommy?" I asked without being
prompted, hoping to make up with her.
Mommy smiled at me and I instantly felt better. "Sure sweetheart, once the
lady's done with your ears I'll let you pick out any five pairs that you
like."
"Thank you Mommy," I said in as sweet a little girl's voice that I could. A
second later I felt something cold against my ears then felt a brief,
sharp, pain. It was final, I now had pierced ears.
That shopping trip ended with five pairs of earrings as Mommy as well as a
new hairstyle.
Mommy had kept the hairstyling a surprise until the very last minute. We
were walking through a department store hand in hand, headed back to the
car when suddenly she pulled me off to the hair styling department.
"I'd like to change my daughter's style a little bit," She told the stylist
with a smile. "Something a little shorter, say about to here." She pointed
to just below my ears.
Mommy and the stylist looked over several books while I had to be a good
little girl and sit quietly. Finally they decided on a style and I was led
back where my hair was shampooed and styled. Thirty minutes later I was
walking back to the car with a typical little girl's hairstyle of bangs and
ends that curled over. Mommy's last surprise was a bow, which perfectly
matched my running shorts, and top, which she tied into my hair.
"Was the haircut necessary?" I asked when I got into the car. "I was
behaving wasn't I?"
"You were wonderful Jamie," Mommy said proudly. "But I want to make sure we
remove all traces of the old you. When you look into a mirror the only
thing you should see is a pretty little girl." She told me as I stared at
my reflection in the car mirror.
She was absolutely right of course, with my new hairstyle, gold started
earrings in my newly pierced ears, my size and clothes; I was the picture
of a cute little girl.
"But I don't know anything about being a girl Mommy," I sighed. "Someone's
going to notice that this pretty little girl acts just like a boy."
"No they're not Jamie," Mom smiled as though laying down a hand filled with
aces at a poker game. "Aunt Patty is going to be staying with us for a
while to teach you how to be a girl."
"No, not Aunt Patty," I screamed. She was my favorite Aunt. "I never wanted
her to find out about this. Why did you have to tell her?"
"She understands Jamie," Mom assured me. "She loves you and she's willing
to help you."
"By teaching me how to act like a little girl?"
"Would you rather act like a teenage boy in a little girl's dress?" Mom
asked.
Why did she always have such good comebacks? I could imagine the laughter
if people thought that I was really a teenage boy wearing little girl's
clothes.
"No," I said beaten. "But Aunt Patty? I'll be totally humiliated if she
sees me in a dress."
"She'll think you're a doll Jamie dear," Mommy told me. "Actually, you look
so much cuter as a little girl than you were as a boy."
"Somehow I don't feel any better." I said as I absent mindedly toyed with
the elastic leg of my panties under my shorts. "When is she coming?"
"Monday morning will be the start of girl classes for you honey." Mommy
announced. "You'll have to pay close attention because we're moving in
about six weeks."
I was up bright and early Monday morning so that Mommy could help me pick
out something to wear. I wanted to wear a pair of shorts but Mommy insisted
that I wear my pink dress with petticoats.
"Not that Mommy," I complained. "I feel so silly wearing that dress."
"But honey, you look so adorable in that dress. I want to have you looking
just right when Aunt Patty meets her new niece." Mommy explained as she
undid a few buttons on my top.
"Please no Mommy," I pleaded. "I feel like a baby when I wear dresses like
that."
Mom thought for a few moments. Would you like me to help you honey?" She
asked in a soft voice.
"How?"
"I can fix it so that you'll like wearing a pretty dress like that." She
said slowly. "Would that help?"
"You'll turn me into a girl again," I said as tears started to cloud my
eyes. "Then I wouldn't be able to enjoy being with Aunt Patty."
"No honey," Mommy promised. "You'll still enjoy being with Aunt Patty, I'll
just fix it so that you'll like wearing pretty dresses."
"I'll still be me and have fun with Aunt Patty?" I asked hopefully.
"You'll be James but he'll want to be Jamie and wear pretty dresses, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. Anything to spend time with my favorite person!
Mommy sat down on the bed next to me and began to talk to me. "You've
always liked wearing my clothes; you love pretty dresses and wish you could
be a girl."
I had very pleasant memories of making Mommy laugh by putting on one of her
dresses and walking around the house in her heels. She would put makeup and
perfume on me and call me Jamie. I always had such a good time pretending
to be a girl and it was going to get better 'cause my Aunt Patty was going
to spend time with us and teach me how to act like a girl. Maybe Mommy will
let me go out as a girl again next Halloween!
"Time to get dressed honey," Mommy said to me. I hurried over and got my
petticoat, shoes, and socks.
"Can I wear that real fancy dress you bought me Mommy?" I asked sweetly. "I
got my petticoat and shoes and socks all by myself.
Mom nodded and I quickly pulled off my top and shorts and slid the
petticoat over my head. "It felt so nice to wear such silky things," I
though as I pulled it down and reached for the dress. "Girls are so lucky."
"I hope Aunt Patty thinks I'm pretty," I giggled as I pulled my dress over
my head. "Can you button me up Mommy, please?"
I was all dressed and feeling so pretty later on when the doorbell rang. I
saw Aunt Patty's car in the driveway and rushed to open the door.
"Hi Aunt Patty!" I smiled, as she looked me over carefully. "Like my new
dress?"
"It's beautiful Jamie, and so are you." She said as she gave me a hug and
kiss. "I've got a surprise for you."
"I love surprises Aunt Patty!" I giggled. "Can I have it please?" "First I
have to see if you're going to be a good girl," She teased. "I don't give
surprises to bad little girls or good little boys."
"I'll be good, and I'm a girl!" I insisted, fluffing my skirt to show off
my petticoat.
"You're a sweetie," Aunt Patty laughed. "But you're still a boy."
Turning to Mommy she winked. "Do I have permission to make a girl out of
him?"
"I suppose its okay," Mommy winked back. "But maybe we should ask him."
"Please make me a girl Aunt Patty," I begged. "I'll be such a good girl and
I really, really, like to wear pretty dresses."
"I'm glad you like wearing pretty dresses Jamie," She told me. "A pretty
girl like you should wear dresses whenever she can so people can see how
pretty she is. Your Mommy tells me you're going to start wearing them a lot
more soon. Is that right?"
I couldn't believe it. I could easily call up memories of my pending
conversion from a teenage boy to a nine year old girl but they no longer
upset me. I was looking forward to being able to wear pretty dresses, silky
underwear, and be a girl.
"That's right Aunt Patty, Mommy's going to let me start fourth grade over
as a girl! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Yes it certainly is," My Aunt agreed. "But you'll have to learn your
lessons well; we wouldn't want anyone to know that you're really a boy."
"I'll study real hard Aunt Patty," I swore. "I'll wear pretty dresses and
I'll act just like a girl."
Aunt Patty smiled; reached into the bag she had brought with her and pulled
out several baby dolls.
"What do I do with these?" I asked puzzled.
"You pretend to be their Mommy," My Aunt said as though I should have
known. "You hug them, sleep with them, and even have tea parties with
them. They're the best part of being a girl."
I shrugged my shoulders and took the dolls from my Aunt. I had promised to
be a good girl and I didn't want to upset Aunt Patty so I held the dolls
tight just like I had seen little girls do. I don't know why but I felt
good about holding and hugging my new dolls, maybe this girl stuff wouldn't
be that bad. Mommy had to leave for work so I gave her a big hug and kiss
then hurried over to start learning how to be a girl.
For the next couple of weeks my Aunt taught me everything there was to know
about being a girl. I learned how to sit and stand like a girl, how to
throw a ball like a girl, and especially how to dress and act like a
girl. One day though I was feeling really sad and when Aunt Patty asked
what was wrong I blurted out. "I don't want to be a girl, Aunt Patty. I
want to stay as a boy."
"You can't do that Jamie," She said softly as she pulled me close. "The
judge said that if you didn't become a girl he'd send you to jail."
"Then I'll go to jail." I insisted. "This is silly; I'm wearing dresses and
girl's underwear and even playing with dolls."
"You're a little short and frankly you're sort of cute Jamie." Aunt Patty
told me. "Do you know what the bigger, older boys would do to you at the
detention center? You'd end up being one of their girlfriends. How would
you like to be the steady girlfriend of some guy who can't wait to get to
your pretty little butt? You could be his personal baby doll, I'm sure he'd
enjoy playing with you."
I felt sick to my stomach thinking about what my Aunt had said. How could I
have been so stupid? If the guys at school picked on me, what would they do
to me at the detention center? I could imagine a few unspeakable things
that they'd want me to do to them and that was enough for me.
I straightened out my skirt and apologized to my Aunt. "I'll be a good
girl, Aunt Patty. I promise."
"I'm sure you will Jamie," She told me as she kissed my cheek. "You'll be a
pretty one too."
At that moment nothing in the world meant more to me than my Aunt telling
me that she thought I'd be a pretty girl. I became determined to do
anything I had to do to stay out of the detention center. I wasn't about to
become any one's girlfriend, that's for sure!
Aunt Patty taught me how to play jacks, jump rope, hold tea parties with my
baby dolls, and the joys of Barbie. We used to sit and play jacks with our
skirts spread out around us or go into my yard where no one could see us
and jump rope or play with the baby dolls she had given me. If it was a
rainy day we'd spend it inside playing dress up with my Barbie's or
sometimes playing with a toy makeup kit Mommy had given me.
Aunt Patty would sometimes take me on shopping trips to the mall, just to
get out of the house. One day I got really scared when I saw a boy I knew
from school walking straight towards us. I had been out of school for
almost two months and had completely forgotten that it was a scheduled day
off for my old school.
"Aunt Patty," I whispered fearfully. "I know that boy; he'll recognize me
in a second."
"No Jamie," My Aunt told me as she squeezed the hand that she was
holding. "Trust me, okay?"
I couldn't do anything else since by then the kid was right in front of
me. I wanted to turn and run but he looked right at me and then past me as
if I wasn't there. He passed us without a second look and I finally started
to breathe again. "What did I tell you?" Aunt Patty asked. "Do you think
that he recognized you?"
"He looked right at me, but I'm not even sure he saw me." I said, barely
able to conceal my wonder.
"He saw a nine year old girl out shopping with her mother." My Aunt
explained. "He didn't know me so there was no reason for him to look at
you. You're very cute, but you're way too young to interest a teenage boy."
She laughed.
"I still don't believe it." I said in shock. "We went to school together
for eight years, we were in the same classes, but he didn't know who I am."
"Face it Jamie, you don't look anything like you did. Would he expect to
see a boy he once knew all dressed up like a little girl in a cute top,
pleated skirt, knee socks, and saddle shoes walking though the mall, his
hair curled with a ribbon in it?"
I reached down and ran a hand over my skirt. I didn't know if I should be
happy or sad, all I knew for sure was that as far as anyone was concerned,
I was a little girl. Something inside of me though found the experience
thrilling and I asked Aunt Patty if we could try to fool some other kids.
"Don't try too hard Jamie," She advised. "You don't want to give them a
reason to take a good look at you. Let them decided for themselves that
you're just a little girl, it's safer that way."
I was a good girl and behaved myself for Aunt Patty but I did have one run
in with a girl from my old class while I was trying on a dress. I had
unzipped it just a little too much and was having a hard time reaching the
back zipper to pull it up when the girl saw me and offered to help. "That's
a cute dress," She said with a smile. "And you look very nice in it; I hope
your Mom buys it for you."
"Me too," I said in my best little girl voice. She smiled again and walked
away never realizing that we once went to a dance together.
When we got home I was so worked up that I just had to rush over and tell
my baby dolls all about my adventure. I have to admit that after weeks of
playing with them I was getting very attached to my baby dolls, all of
which I had named. I took them to bed with me and talked to them about
being a girl before I went to sleep at night. They were always very polite
and good listeners.
One day my Aunt said she had another surprise for me. I thought it might be
another baby doll, which would have been okay since my old ones kept asking
to meet new friends. Instead she went to her car and brought in this dress
that made my heart pound.
It was very soft and looked just like a light pink velvet material. I
didn't even try to resist the urge to try it on; I just wanted that dress
so badly.
"Wait a minute here," My Aunt laughed. "Aren't you the boy who hates
dresses?"
"Not me, Aunt Patty, I'm a girl." I laughed, pretending to be insulted. "I
love pretty clothes, especially pretty dresses like that one."
"My mistake," My Aunt laughed. "Someone told me that a boy lived here."
I shook my head. "I've never met him, now may I try that dress on please?"
"You'll need these too," My Aunt reached into a bag and pulled out a
package containing my fist pair of stockings and a pair of shoes with a low
heel. "I wanted to give my favorite niece her first pair of heels."
"I love you Aunt Patty," I kissed her and rushed off to my room to
change. I was so excited, my fist pair of heels! I was going to dress up
just like a big girl in a pretty dress, stockings, and heels.
Rushing to my room I quickly pulled off my sleeveless top, stepped out of
my denim skirt, and kicked off my sandals. I found a pretty full slip with
a little lace trim and a pretty pink rose at the front and slid it over my
head. In just a few weeks, with Aunt Patty and Mommy's help, I not only
learned to put up with wearing girl's underwear, I actually came to enjoy
it. The feel of my pretty slip as it slid over my bare chest and rubbed
against my legs was so nice, much nicer feeling than anything boy's clothes
I wore. Now, as I sat on my bed and carefully pulled on my first pair of
stockings, I could hardly calm down. Mommy and Aunt Patty trusted me enough
as a big girl to buy me special things like these pantyhose. They promised
me that I'd love the way they felt on my legs and probably wouldn't want to
take them off again.
I carefully pulled and tugged until I had the pantyhose all the way up to
my waist, just like the package directions said, and boy were Mommy and
Aunt Patty right! I couldn't believe how silky my legs felt and when I
looked in the mirror my legs looked so pretty.
I carefully pulled on my dress then tugged it so that my slip wouldn't show
under it. Mommy said that a girl should never let her slip show because it
makes her look sloppy so I'm always careful to check my slip after I put on
a dress or skirt.
The dress was just so soft I couldn't believe it. It was lined on the
inside too so it felt like I had on an extra slip because it was so
slippery. I carefully put on my new shoes and stood up, not sure if I could
walk in them because they had a heel and none of my other shoes did. Lucky
for me they really weren't too much different than my other shoes to walk
in. Looking in the mirror though, they were so different than my other
shoes, so grown up looking, not something for little girl, but shoes a big
girl would wear and I was the big girl wearing them. I brushed my hair,
carefully put in a pair of pink earrings Mommy had bought me, put a ribbon
and barrettes in my hair to match my dress then hurried to show off for my
Aunt.
"How do I look Aunt Patty?" I called out excitedly as I twirled around and
around making myself dizzy. This is the prettiest, softest, dress I've ever
worn. It's my favorite from now on."
"Come on Jamie," Aunt Patty took my hand and led me to the table. "I'm not
done with you yet. She told me as she painted my nails to match my
dress. "Don't touch anything with them for about ten minutes," She
advised. "They need to dry."
I nodded happily, unable to talk because I was about to burst from joy. My
nails looked so pretty and the shade was a perfect match for my dress. Aunt
Patty had obviously planned everything out, no wonder I loved her so much.
I sat quietly watching TV and talking to my dolls while waiting for my
nails to dry. I wished that I understood why I felt so happy wearing a
dress and girls underwear, but I couldn't figure it out. I should be out
riding my bike, climbing a tree or scaling a wall, but I was just so happy
to be all dressed up and looking so pretty that I couldn't imagine doing
those things. Why climb a silly tree and risk falling down when I could
have so much more fun having a tea party with my dolls? Mommy had promised
that once we got to Arizona she'd buy me a new bike, a pink one that said
"Barbie" in real big letters so I didn't mind waiting.
"I talked to your Mommy Jamie; she can't wait to see how pretty you look in
your new dress." Aunt Patty smiled. "She wants the three of us girls to go
out to dinner tonight, okay?"
"That's so nice, Aunt Patty," I started to cry. I was so worked up and
confused. I wanted to show off my new clothes to everybody. I wanted them
to stop Mommy and Aunt Patty and tell them that I was the prettiest little
girl they'd ever seen. I was a teenage boy who wanted to be the world's
prettiest little girl and I couldn't help myself, it was exciting to see
people I knew and not have them recognize me. Sort of like being invisible,
I guess.
I'd have bet the girls at school would have flipped if they knew who the
little girl watching them adjust their pantyhose and bras in the ladies
room really was. Too bad I couldn't tell anyone.
Mom was acting a whole lot different towards me. We didn't argue back and
forth much anymore, unless it was over what I was going to wear. Sometimes
she wanted to make me wear such babyish outfits when I wanted to wear what
other girls my age wore. Other than that we were getting to be so close, I
helped zip up her dress
got teased a lot and I've never been able to put up with all of the short
jokes. Worse yet, the doctor's told Mom that I couldn't be expected to grow
more than two to three inches even with my upcoming growth surge. I was
stuck as a midget forever.
Tom Morris and George Harlon had just finished their daily round of abusing
me; you know the routine; "Does your Mommy know you're here?" and too many
other stupid jokes to talk about. This time though they were going to pay,
just like every other kid who had abused me had paid.
Tom's red sports car was the love of his life; I doubt that he thought as
much of his girlfriend as he did that car. That was what I'd use to make
him pay. I carefully gathered up a few piles of dog crap in a plastic bag
then dumped them all over the front seat of his precious little car. I knew
that he had a habit of jumping into the car without looking so he'd never
know what was waiting until it was too late. Just for added measure though
I stuck the end of a pair of nail clippers into the valves on two of his
tires, flattening them.
George, as Tom's best friend, got a ride home every afternoon in Tom's car
so he'd also share in the delightful little trap I laid on the front
seat. Of course, the day being very warm and muggy would only add to their
enjoyment when they got into the car! With two flat tires and only one
spare they'd have to walk home. A hot sunny day, smelling like fresh dog
crap, my targets would certainly remember this day!
Unfortunately, their parents were none too thrilled about cleaning the
clothes that Tom and George wore or the front seat of the car. I got called
into the Vice Principal's office the next day along with my mother.
"This makes the third time this month I've had to discipline you Jim," The
vice principal solemnly intoned. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Only three times" I joked. "Guess I'm having a bad month, I'll try harder
though!"
For some strange reason the Vice Principal didn't think I was funny. "No,
you won't try harder here young man. I've had nothing but trouble with you
for the last three years. You spend more time in my office than I do."
"Do you see a problem?" I asked flippantly. "Let's hope the principal
doesn't find out that you're shirking your job."
His face turned the same color as Tom's car and his veins bulged in his
neck. "You won't be the one to tell him," The vice principal screamed. "As
of today you have to find another school. You're expelled!"
"Please wait," Mom pleaded. "He'll change, I promise he will." "I'm sorry
Mrs. Koor, but you've said that too many times." He told Mom as he handed
her the official papers. I'm afraid it's just too late. I wish you luck
with James but I doubt you'll have it."
Mom was in tears as we left the school. Who would've figured they'd
actually expel me? Didn't I have a right to an education?
"We'll work something out," I casually remarked as we got into our
car. "Riverglenn isn't the only school in the world."
"It's more than that you troublemaking little snot!" Mom snarled. "There's
a summons waiting for us at home. It seems that Tom's family has decided to
press charges for the damage you did to his car."
"Hey," I shrugged. "He shouldn't have been messing with me. He got what he
deserved."
I got the back of my mother's hand across my mouth. "You don't get it, do
you?" She screamed. "They want to have you declared incorrigible and sent
away to a juvenile detention center until you're eighteen. Then they'd like
to have your useless butt thrown in jail for the rest of your life!"
"Never happen," I said flippantly just before Mom's hand lashed out again.
"Just shut up!" She yelled. "Not another word until I say so!"
When the hearing finally came I was stunned. The judge heard everyone's
story then pronounced me guilty as charged. One week later Mom and I
returned to hear the judge pass the sentence he had decided on. Not only
could I be sent away, the judge was recommending it! I wanted to cry when I
heard the judge sentence me to the next five years in a detention center.
"Please your honor," Mom begged and cried. "He's all that I have since my
husband died years ago. I know he's a problem but for God's sake there must
be another way. I couldn't go on without him."
The judge thought for a moment then shook his head. "I don't think that he
deserves it, but I will give you another chance. My secretary will give you
the name of a psychologist that has worked wonders with delinquent boys in
the past. Make an appointment and talk to the lady, if you can reach some
agreement I'll suspend the sentence."
"Thank you, your honor." Mom cried. "I promise that we'll work something
out, whatever it may take."
I felt like Mom had sold out by giving into the judge but I figured that
seeing a shrink was better than five years in a kid's jail. Mom made an
appointment but to my surprise the lady wanted to see Mom alone for the
first several visits. It was only after Mom had met with her five times
already that I was to go one the sixth visit. Seemed goofy to me, if I'm
the one who has to see a shrink, why was Mom the only one going? Of course,
it didn't matter, I really didn't want to see a shrink, and it was just a
way to stay out of kiddy prison.
Mom gave our names to the receptionist and we were led to a small office
where we met the shrink, a woman named Mrs. Donigan. She and Mom talked for
a few minutes about how I'd been a problem since my Dad died four years
ago.
"Without a male influence, he's become uncontrollable." Mom told her. "I
hope this will work."
"It hasn't failed yet," Mrs. Donigan smiled. "Fifty patients in the last
three years and not a single complaint."
"Then let's get on with it," Mom sighed. "I just wish..."
"I know Linda," The shrink told her. "If there was any other way, we'd
certainly try that first."
Turning to me she smiled. "I'd like to speak to your Mom privately in the
hall. Would you give us a minute please?"
I shrugged and nodded my head. Mom brushed my long, unkempt, hair away from
my eyes and gave me a funny look before she walked out.
Mrs. Donigan smiled at me and put a CD into a stereo behind her
desk. "Something to listen to while I talk to your Mom." She smiled at me
one last time then followed Mom out of the office.
I heard a familiar hit song start to play but that's all I remembered until
Mom and the shrink came back. By then the music had stopped and I was
rubbing my eyes, feeling bored and a little sleepy.
"All right Jimmy," Mrs. Donigan told me. "I guess you want to know what's
going to happen to you."
"Hey, I talk, you listen. What's so tough about that?" I asked.
"No dear," Mom said firmly. "Mrs. Donigan and I are going to make some
changes in your life. You probably won't like them now but you'll get used
to them and you'll probably even start to enjoy your new life."
"What new life? I thought I was coming to talk while she listens."
"No dear, that's not it." Mom said softly. "I've had a few meetings with
Mrs. Donigan here and we decided that there wasn't a thing to talk to you
about. You and I have tried that in the past and it never worked. It's time
to quit talking and make a few changes."
"Like what?" I asked, feeling ticked off. What nerve they had to talk about
me behind my back.
Mom started to talk but she couldn't seem to get the words out
right. "You're too aggressive... I can't handle it... going to calm you
down..."
She shook her head and gave up. "I can't do it," She told Mrs.
Donigan. "Will you please take over?"
Mrs. Donigan nodded to Mom then turned to me. "What your Mom is trying to
say is that you've become far too aggressive since your puberty
started. You should have had an adult male to channel that aggression but
that couldn't be. You're mother and I have agreed that if you're over
aggressive male behavior is left unchecked; you'll end up either in prison
or dead. Since she doesn't want to see either happen we've decided to take
steps to calm you down, make you easier to get along with."
"We're going to turn you into a little girl." Mom blurted out.
"Are you nuts?" I laughed. "Just wave a magic wand and make me into a
sissy?"
"Not a sissy Jamie," Mrs. Donigan said firmly. "Only boys can be sissies
and you won't be a boy."
"You're nuts, both of you!" I shouted. "You can't just start calling me
Jamie and expect me to be a prissy little girl, it'll never happen."
"Watch the tape Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me as she turned on the small TV
next to her desk and slid a tape into the VCR.
I couldn't believe my eyes! There on the tape was a boy who looked just
like me being led into a room by a woman who looked just like my
mother. The woman told the boy to go behind a screen, take his clothes off
and hand them to her. She then handed him back a pair of girl's underpants
and a Tee shirt. He stepped out from behind the screen dressed in girl's
underwear and stood calmly while the woman put a slip, dress, socks and
shoes on him. She kissed him on the cheek and pointed to a table filled
with baby dolls. The boy skipped over to the table and spent a long time
playing "Mommy" to his "babies".
"This is a fantastic tape," I laughed. "It's great, but it's not me."
"Take off your shoes and socks Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered.
Suddenly I felt like I just had to get my shoes and socks off and wasted no
time in doing so. When I peeled off my socks I couldn't believe my eyes, my
toenails were painted pink!
"Loosen your belt and open your pants Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered while I
stared at my toes. "Feel your underwear."
I did as I was told and recoiled in shock as my hand touched a pair of
silky, girl's underpants!
"How?" I stammered. "How could you..."
"The music you listened to hypnotized you Jamie." Mrs. Donigan
explained. "It made you temporarily willing to do anything your Mom asked
of you."
"It better never happen again!" I insisted. "Do you understand?"
"No Jamie, you better understand." Mom broke in. "From now on you'll do as
you're told. The music also left a post hypnotic suggestion in your brain,
it can't keep you calm forever but it will keep you obedient long enough to
make a sweet little girl out of you. After that, the hormones will take
over and you won't have a choice."
"I have a choice now and I won't do it." I insisted. "I'll run away, you
can't stop me from doing that."
Mom smiled. "All right Jamie honey, put my lipstick back please."
I thought she was nuts until I saw the tube of lipstick in my hand and
tasted it on my lips.
"Tell me I didn't just put your lipstick on." I asked hesitantly.
"Mom smiled again and handed me her compact. Sure enough, the face staring
back at me had lipstick on.
"I don't remember anything," I cried. "What's happening to me?"
"Just a demonstration of how obedient you really will be," Mom
smiled. "Besides it's already too late to run away."
I looked at her quizzically.
"Do you feel just a little soreness on the inside of your left thigh, right
about here?" She asked, motioning with her hand.
"A little, now that you mention it. Why?"
"A time release implant of female hormones," Mom coldly replied. "That's
why it's too late to run away; you're already on your way to becoming a
girl. You'll probably notice the mental changes first; you'll take more of
in interest in pretty clothes, and playing girl games. The physical changes
will happen in a couple of years when you go through puberty. Right now
there won't be anything unusual for a nine year old girl though."
"Nine year old girl, what are you talking about? I'm going to be fourteen
on my next birthday and I'm a boy." I protested.
"No dear, you're my nine year old daughter Jamie." Mom corrected me. "You
haven't done well in school since you were nine so I'm staring you over at
that age."
"Not many people ever get the chance to go back and correct mistakes made
when they were younger Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me. "You're a very lucky
girl."
"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I'm a boy, a boy, a boy!"
Mom gave me that strange smile again. "How old are you?" She asked sweetly.
"Four... I'm nine but I'll be a big girl soon."
"And what's your name?"
"Jamie Lynn Koor." I heard myself say.
"Are you a girl or a boy, Jamie?"
I wanted to scream "Boy" but I couldn't, I just couldn't, the words
wouldn't come out. Instead I heard myself giggle and say, "That's silly,
I'm a girl."
"What's happening?" I cried, terrified of what had happened.
"You've just witnessed what will happen whenever anyone asks you those
kinds of questions Jamie." Mrs. Donigan said with a smile. "You know you're
really a boy, you know what you're real age is, but you'll never be able to
tell anyone."
"From now on you're my pretty little daughter, Jamie Lynn. Right?" Mom
asked.
"No!" I hissed. "I'll never go along with this stupid idea of yours, I'm
a..."
Suddenly I stopped in mid sentence. I opened my mouth to finish what I
started to say but different words came out. "I'm a nine year old girl, my
name is Jamie Lynn, and I like kitty cats and puppy dogs."
Mom smiled at me. "I suggest you sit quietly and listen Jamie dear, there's
no point in trying to argue."
Mom and Mrs. Donigan explained everything in chilling detail. Mom and I
would be moving to another state where no one knew us, instead of going to
the ninth grade in the fall, I'd be starting the fourth grade. The hormones
being released into my body would eventually change my shape into that of a
little girl. As time went on I would experience the same changes that any
other girl my age would experience. My body would round out, and I'd settle
into the everyday life of a girl.
"Before your body changes though you'll experience some mental changes."
Mrs. Donigan explained. "You'll be much calmer, far easier to get along
with, and you'll see the world differently. In short Jamie, with each
passing day you'll become a sweet little girl."
I was horror stricken. "You can't really do that, can you? I mean I'll
always be a boy."
Mom shook her head "The hormones will do it Jamie, and no, there is no
stopping them. Soon puppies and kittens will be very important to you, as
will baby dolls. It's all part of being a girl."
"No way!" I retorted. "I'll never play with baby dolls; no one can make me
do that!"
I saw Mom's lips move but I don't remember hearing her say
anything. Suddenly I felt very odd; I was holding something that I didn't
remember picking up. Looking down in my lap I shuddered as I saw the baby
doll that I was cradling in one arm while feeding it a bottle. I tired to
throw the doll away but instead ended up holding it and pretending to burp
it.
"What happened?" I asked trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind. "Where
did this come from?" I asked while still cuddling the baby doll.
"You've been holding it for close to an hour now Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told
me. "You asked for your baby, said she was lonely."
I would have sworn she was nuts but I checked the watch in my pocket and
the time was right. An hour had passed without me knowing it! Mom didn't
know that I carried the watch so there was no way she could have reset it.
"Why don't you just tell me that I'm a little girl," I asked "You can make
me dress like one, and play with baby dolls. Why bother telling me about
it?"
"The hypnosis would never last that long Jamie," Mom explained. "It will
last long enough to over come any temporary objections you may have
though. Once we get past them, the hormones will take over and you'll start
to think of yourself as a girl."
"My company has a division in Arizona," Mom explained. "I explained
everything and they've been sweet enough to get me a transfer to that
division so that I can have the privacy which I'll need to raise my
daughter properly."
"Am I going to be a girl forever?" I stammered.
"The arrangement with the court is until you graduate from High School."
Mrs. Donigan told me. "At that time you can make your own decision as to
whether or not you want to be a male again."
"That's in four years," I found myself thinking aloud.
"No, that's in nine years," Mom said. "Remember, you're just nine years
old."
"Please don't do this to me Mom," I sobbed. "I can't be a girl; everyone
will know and laugh at me."
"No one will laugh Jamie," Mom told me as she pulled me close for a hug. It
was then that she dropped her bombshell. "No one will ever be able to
tell. You're going to have an operation that will tuck everything away and
make you look like any other girl. If you ever decide to be a boy again
everything will be put back to normal and no one will ever know."
I don't remember much of what was said after that; I was too busy crying to
hear what they were saying. Finally Mom dried my tears with a tissue,
thanked Mrs. Donigan for her help and walked me back to our car. I was in a
state of shock all the way home and collapsed on the sofa as soon as I got
in the door.
"Jamie, please come here." Mom called from my room.
For a brief second I thought about ignoring her but instead I got off the
sofa and walked to my room. It was like having no willpower of my own.
"I bought a few things for you earlier in the week," Mom said as she
gestured towards clothes on my bed. "Aren't they pretty?"
I looked at the ultra fancy party dress, the socks, girl's shoes, and
underwear on my bed and wanted to run. Instead I just nodded my head like a
good girl and agreed with Mom.
"Let's get you all prettied up, okay Jamie?" She asked. "I just know you're
going to look so cute."
"Do I have to Mom?" I asked, saying a silent prayer. "What if someone sees
me?"
"No one will see you dear," Mom told me as she began to unbutton my
shirt. "And it wouldn't matter; we won't be living here after a few weeks
anyhow."
She slipped my shirt off my back and reached for my belt.
"I can't do it Mom," I said as I held onto my belt. "I just really, really
can't."
There was that smile again.
"I just really, really, can't wait to see how pretty I look!"
I wanted to die. Imagine me, a fourteen year old boy, standing in front of
his mother and practically pleading to be dressed up like a little
girl. Beaten again, I undid my belt and jeans. I stepped out of my jeans
and stared down at the mint green panties with yellow flowers that I wore.
"How did you get these on me?" I asked out of morbid curiosity.
"You put them on yourself," Mom said with a silly looking grin. "I just
thought you'd like to wear something soft and pretty and I was right."
I was about to make a smart comment but I found myself rubbing my butt
through the panties. "They are awfully soft, and silky. Mine don't feel
anything like these."
"They do now Jamie," Mom laughed. "These are what you'll be wearing. Do you
like them?"
I wanted to scream at her and demand to be given my old underwear but the
silky feeling seemed to take over my thoughts.
"Yes, I guess so." I said timidly. "They feel different, nice, I guess."
Mom pulled me close and hugged me close. "Everything's going to be okay
Jamie, I promise. No one will laugh at you or tease you anymore. You're
going to be a cute girl and I'll take good care of you." "But what about
school and my friends Mom?" I asked through my tears.
"Name two people who would miss you?" Mom quizzed me. "Any two, teachers,
other students, it doesn't matter."
I thought about it for several minutes then broke down into sobs. "I can't
Mom, there aren't two people who would care if I lived or died."
"That's not true Jamie," she told me softly. "I love you and care about
you. I care enough to help you."
"By making me into a girl? How would that help?" I asked curtly.
"You're too short, and too thin to be accepted properly as a boy." Mom
explained. "Other boys would keep picking on you and you'd keep
retaliating. It would never end."
"But I don't look like a girl, do I?" I was afraid of the answer but
somehow I just had to ask.
"I'm sorry honey, but yes you do. You're actually a little shorter than
average but as a girl, that won't matter. You'll be a sweet girl that
everyone will love."
"But how can I be a girl Mom, I don't know anything about being a girls."
Even while I tried my best to argue my way out of the situation I was
holding up my arms while Mom lowered this really fancy thing she called a
petticoat over them.
It must have been another of her suggestions but I just stood there feeling
silly in a sea of ruffles and nylon.
"You will sweetie, just wait. You're going to be taught all about being a
girl; you'll learn about clothes, and games, and how to act and talk just
like a girl. While you're learning these things you'll also be conditioned
to think of yourself as a little girl."
"It's bad enough that you're going to turn me into a girl but I would've
been in high school, now I'll be some little girl in Elementary School!"
"Don't worry honey, you'll grow up and be a young lady soon enough, for now
though you have to relax and trust me." Mom said as she picked up the dress
she wanted me to wear.
"Please Mom, not a dress like that." I cried as she picked up a yellow
dress with sheer, puffy sleeves, a skirt that seemed to go on forever, and
a bright yellow satin sash.
I had seen little girls wearing that type of dress. They always looked so
delicate and angelic, neither of which I wanted to be or even look like. I
couldn't even hope to pretend to be a boy in a dress like that and
something told me that if Mom ever got that dress over my head I could
forget about being a boy for a while. I started to struggle but it was no
use. Once again Mom smiled and said something I didn't understand and the
next thing I knew she was buttoning up the back of the dress. Beaten, I
stood meekly while she tied the sash into an enormous bow then sat like a
good little girl, my hands folded in my lap, while Mom put lace anklets and
a pair of black Mary Jane's on my feet.
Thoroughly humiliated, I sat while Mom brushed out my long hair then tied a
yellow ribbon into my new ponytail.
"You look so pretty Jamie, why don't you look in the mirror!" Mom told me
after making sure my dress covered my petticoat.
I tried not to get up but my feet had a mind of their own and led me
straight to a large full length mirror where I saw this cute little girl
all dressed up for a party. I broke down and sobbed, there was no way that
little girl could have been me but she was. I was a fourteen year old boy
damn it, but the mirror said otherwise. No one would look at me and see
anything but an adorable little girl.
"Tell me you honestly don't like the way you feel right now Jamie." Mom
pressed. "Try to tell me that you don't like the way your panties feel and
that you really don't like feeling the cool air as it swirls under your
dress."
"I don't like it Mom," I screamed, amazed that I had gotten away with
it. "I don't want to be a girl, get me out of this stuff!" I twisted and
turned, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach the buttons that
held me in my frilly prison. Without help, I was stuck. Stuck as a nine
year old girl in a frilly dress and even frillier underwear!
Mom shook her head in dismay. "Calm down Jamie, I don't want you messing up
your new dress."
I refused to calm down though and began even wilder gyrations, trying to
remove the hated dress.
Mom said something, then she smiled at me and I immediately calmed down. I
stared in the mirror for a few seconds then my hands began to flip my dress
back and forth. Soon I was smiling and giggling, twirling back and forth in
front of the mirror, like any other girl, thrilled to be wearing such a
pretty dress.
"Good girl," Mom exclaimed happily. "I knew you'd love the way your new
clothes felt. It's fun to be a girl, you get to wear such pretty clothes
and they'll feel so much better than anything you've ever worn before."
"It's such a pretty dress Mommy, I love it!" I exclaimed as I rushed over
and gave her a kiss. "Can we go out somewhere so I can show everyone how
pretty my new dress is?"
The kiss jolted me back to reality. What had I done, calling her Mommy and
begging her to take me out in public, dressed like this? I couldn't help
myself though; Mommy's suggestions just seemed like so much fun!
"How about a trip to the mall, we can shop for some more pretty dresses,
would you like that?"
I managed to call up enough reserve will power to break though the
fog. "What have you done to me?"
"Nothing much," Mom said with a sly grin. "Just made things a little easier
on you. Shortened your adjustment period you might say. You're going to
think of yourself as a girl for a few hours while we go shopping. And
you'll call me Mommy from now on; I think it sounds so cute."
Promise me that no one will know who I am, please Mommy?"
There were times I had begged Mom for a special present for Christmas or my
birthday but that begging was nothing compared to the intensity I poured
into my begging now.
"It's okay Jamie," Mom said softly. "Relax and be a girl, relax and be a
girl."
I stared at Mommy for a little while a feeling of warmth and security
flowed over me. What was so bad about going to the mall, I wondered? Mommy
would be with me and she promised to get me some pretty dresses.
"Can we go now Mommy?" I asked. "I want to look at all the pretty clothes!"
What was I doing? I didn't want to wear these clothes, I didn't want to go
anywhere, and I sure didn't want to shop for more dresses yet I couldn't
stop myself. I felt all excited about going out with my Mommy, showing off
my pretty dress, and couldn't wait for Mommy to buy me more pretty things.
"Here's a nice little purse for you Jamie," Mommy said as she handed me a
yellow, patent leather purse with a big flower decal on it. "I put some
tissues in it for you and even a little wallet."
I was so excited as I opened my new purse. Mommy had placed a small package
of tissues in it along with a yellow change purse with some coins, and a
yellow wallet with a dollar bill in it.
"Thank you for the money Mommy!" I squealed in delight. "Maybe I could buy
an ice cream cone while we're shopping?"
"It's your money Jamie," Mommy smiled sweetly. "You can spend it on
anything you like."
"Just like a big girl!" I exclaimed.
I held Mommy's hand and skipped through the parking lot at the mall. Once
inside I kept a very tight grip on Mommy's hand, there might be bad
strangers around and I didn't want to be separated from my Mommy.
It was fun walking through the big mall with all those people. A lot of
ladies that saw me and Mommy stopped to tell me how pretty I looked and
what a pretty dress I had on. I wanted Mommy to be proud of me so, like a
big girl, I smiled and thanked all of the ladies who stopped to talk to us.
We bought lots of pretty stuff for me like underwear, and PJ's, dresses,
and some play clothes too. I guess lots of girls like me must like Winnie
the Pooh because the stores had all kinds of stuff with Winnie and his
friends on them. I got a nightgown with Winnie on it, another with Tigger,
and a third one with Roo on it. They're so pretty and comfy, I can't wait
to go home and put one on but I don't know which one I'll wear first since
they're all so cute!
Mommy let me pick out some underwear all by myself, which was really neat
'cause I picked some real pretty panties with ruffles and bows on
them. Mommy said they're made of something called Nylon, just like the
panties I had on and the silky part of my petticoat.
Mommy went with me into the dressing room and helped me out of my dress and
petticoat so I could try on lots of other pretty dresses and clothes. I
hated to take off my pretty dress and especially my fluffy petticoat but
Mommy said that if I didn't I couldn't try on any new ones so I was a good
girl and held very still while Mommy undid my dress and helped me out of my
petticoat.
Mommy picked out a light purple dress that wasn't anywhere near as pretty
and fancy as my party dress but the material was so soft that I just knew
it would be so much fun and comfy to wear. Next I had to try on a white
skirt and pink top, which was soft and comfy, like the purple dress so I
asked Mommy to buy them for me.
Mommy made me really happy when she handed me this cute blue top with a big
picture of a unicorn on it. It felt so nice and comfy and when I put it on
it fit me perfectly so Mommy said since I was such a good little girl I
could have that one too!
I also got a couple of shorts sets that were made out of a silky material
that gave me goose bumps when I first tried them on! They looked so neat;
I'd seen other girls wearing them and had always wanted a pair, now I was
going to get a whole bunch of them in pink, purple, red, and light blue.
Mommy said that I didn't need dresses for school since I'd have to wear a
skirt and blouse uniform in my new school. I can't seem to remember much at
all about my old school, but Mommy said it wasn't very nice and that I was
going to have a good time in my new school so I guess it's not that
important.
I got lots of neat stuff that night, a couple of skirts, some dresses,
oodles of undies, shorts, and tops too. Mommy even bought me a couple of
pairs of stockings like big girls wear; she said I could wear them the next
time I get dressed up. When Mommy finished paying for everything we took
all of my new clothes to our car then went back for the ice cream Mommy
promised to let me buy.
"Mommy, I have to go to the girl's room." I told her as I skipped back to
the mall. "Can you come with me?"
"Of course I can honey," Mom told me. "I don't want you getting lost or
meeting up with any mean strangers."
When we go to the ladies bathroom I sort of felt that something was wrong
but Mommy squeezed my hand and told me how much she loved me which took
away all of the bad feelings. I went into a stall, picked up my dress and
pulled down my panties to go, and then I put everything back the way it was
so that I'd be just as pretty as when Mommy put my dress on me. I wouldn't
want anyone to see me without panties on because Mommy said that I'm just a
little different than other girls but we're going to get that fixed real
soon. That night I put on a blue nightgown with teddy bears all over it,
curled up under my sheets, gave Mommy a goodnight kiss, then went to sleep
dreaming about all of my pretty new clothes.
The next morning I woke up because I had a bad dream. I dreamed that Mommy
and I were shopping for new dresses for me when everyone started to point
at me and laugh, saying that I was a sissy boy in a dress. I couldn't
figure out why I would have such a horrible dream until I got up to go to
the bathroom and saw the nightgown I was wearing. That was bad enough but
when I got into the bathroom and lifted the nightgown I found that I was
also wearing a pair of pink nylon panties with ruffles across the seat. It
hadn't been a dream, it was a nightmare I found when I went to my closet
and saw all of the new clothes. Mommy really had taken me to the mall as a
little girl and bought me girl's clothes!
"Mommy, what happened?" I screamed from my room. "Please tell me you didn't
take me anywhere!"
"Calm down Jamie," Mommy said as she came into my room. "You were the
perfect little lady and had a wonderful time."
"But people saw me in that yellow party dress you made me wear!" I
cried. "They must have laughed their heads off."
"No one laughed at you Jamie," Mom said firmly. "Several ladies did stop to
compliment you on how pretty you looked. You were such a sweet girl,
smiling and thanking them. I was so proud of you!"
Memories of holding Mommy's hand, skipping through the parking lot, a
breeze gently lifting my petticoat and blowing across my ruffled, pantied
butt, came rushing back to me. I could see the ladies smiling as they
approached us, leaning over to get a better look at my dress and telling me
how cute I was and I could hear my girlish sounding voice thanking them.
"How Mommy, how did you do that to me?" I asked in wonder. "I remember
being such a little sissy in that dress, then trying on other clothes."
Mom shrugged. "It was easy." She said with a laugh. "One of the suggestions
Mrs. Donigan and I planted in your brain was that you'll become a little
girl when ever I tell you to. You'll forget all about being a boy and be
the sweetest little girl a mother could ever hope for. You spent half of
yesterday afternoon and all of the evening as a nine year old girl."
"Oh my God," I lamented. "You can turn me on and off like a light bulb?"
"Sort of," Mom giggled. "But don't worry; I won't do it to embarrass you or
anything. You're going to be reluctant to do what needs done at first
Jamie, so I'll need to use it to help you over the rough spots. Once you
get used to being a girl and the hormones start to work I won't need it as
much."
"No Mommy," I started to shout. "It isn't right; you can't make me think
that I'm a little girl."
"You mean you're not my little girl?" I heard Mommy ask.
"You're silly Mommy," I giggled. "Who else's little girl would I be?"
"Damn!" I hissed. "Quit that!"
"Just as soon as I'm sure you're really my little girl Jamie." Mommy said
slowly. "What do you want to wear today?"
"It sure won't be that dress again!" I told her. Suddenly I felt
confused. I loved my pretty dress, what was wrong with wearing it again?
"How about one of your pretty new running shorts sets?" Mommy offered. "I'm
sure they'll be comfortable and I'll bet you'll like they way they feel
too."
"Okay Mommy, I'll wear the pink ones!" I agreed and rushed off to change.
My ruffled panties didn't look good under my shorts so I pulled out a
plainer pair from my drawer.
"Now how did I get a drawer full of panties?" I wondered to myself. "Mommy
must have unpacked for me," I thought suddenly. "She so nice, I'll have to
give her a couple of extra kisses!"
I changed m panties and pulled on my shorts, noticing that they looked so
much nicer without the bulges from my ruffled panties. I hated to have to
take off my ruffled ones because they made me feel so good but even these
plain white ones made out of that nylon stuff made me feel so pretty!
I brushed out my long blonde hair, grabbed a hot pink ponytail holder off
my dresser (I don't remember them being there before but suddenly I've got
a dozen in all different colors.), and then ran out to show Mommy how I
looked.
"Mommy, Mommy, my new shorts are so nice!" I called out as I rushed to her
open arms. "Thank you Mommy," I said as I smothered her with kisses.
"My goodness, I'm getting all kinds of kisses," Mommy laughed. "What's the
special occasion?"
"I just wanted to say thanks for all of the pretty clothes you bought me
and tell you that I think you're the most wonderful Mommy a girl could
have!"
"You're most welcome Jamie," Mom told me as she held me tight. "I'm just
happy to have such a sweet, pretty little girl like you for a daughter."
We hugged each other for a couple of minutes before I suddenly realized
what I had done. I started to tense up but then I heard Mommy's soft voice.
"Calm down Jamie," She was telling me. "Everything's okay."
"How can it be okay?" I sobbed pitifully. "I'm all dressed up like a little
girl waiting for her Mommy to fix her ponytail. I just took off a pair of
sissy looking panties, but put on another pair of panties instead of my own
underwear. Speaking of which, how did I get a drawer full of panties and
where is my underwear?"
"You are a little girl Jamie, there's nothing wrong with dressing like
one. Your old underwear and all of your old clothes are gone. You have a
lot of pretty outfits now so you won't need those ugly boy clothes
anymore."
"No, you can't do this Mommy, you just can't." I screamed through my tears.
"That will be enough of that young lady," I heard Mommy say in a stern
voice. Then she whispered those words again, "Relax and be a girl Jamie,
relax and be a girl."
I started to feel funny. I knew she was making me think I was a girl again
but this time she wouldn't get away with it. I was to going to fight these
feelings with every ounce of strength I had! A fog started to cloud my
mind. I knew that if I let it in, I'd become a little girl named Jamie
again.
"What do you want to do today Jamie?" I heard Mom ask through the
descending fog. I concentrated as hard as I could but all of a sudden I
heard myself say, "Can I get my ears pierced Mommy? A lot of girls my age
have their ears pierced."
Good grief, what in heaven's name was I doing? I couldn't believe I was
asking Mommy to let me get my ears pierced. Hopefully she hadn't picked up
on what I had said.
"That's a wonderful idea Jamie!" Mom clapped her hands in glee. "I think
you're big enough to wear pierced earrings. We'll get you several different
pairs so you'll be able to match them with any outfit you wear."
"Oh joy," I thought to myself. "Earrings for every outfit, what more could
a guy ask for?"
"Thank you Mommy," I found myself saying. "I can't wait to see how pretty
I'll look." It was as if I was another person altogether. Where were these
thoughts and feelings coming from?
"Mommy," I asked. "Could I ask a question please?"
"Go right ahead sweetheart," Mommy smiled. "I'm listening."
"Why did I ask for pierced ears? I've never thought about them before."
"Yes you have sweetie," Mom explained. "All of the things that you've seen
or heard little girls do as you were growing up were stored in your brain
at some point. When I tell you to be a girl, you start to act the way you
think a girl would. Don't you want to wear pretty earrings?"
"Yes, I do Mommy!" I giggled excitedly. "I can't wait to get my ears
pierced and wear earrings like a grown up lady."
"Then it's all settled, we'll get your ears pierced this afternoon and
maybe an ice cream cone for being so brave!"
"Goody, goody, Ice cream!" I shouted while jumping up and down. "I love ice
cream!"
Once again, reality crashed in on my new little world. "Tell me I didn't do
what I think I just did." I asked lamely.
"Afraid so," Mom said with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, but you were getting to
be a pain in the butt for a minute there. I missed my sweet daughter."
With no more room for discussion and no stomach for a tantrum I waited for
Mommy to dress then followed her to the car and off to get my ears pierced.
Once we got to the mall I was dragging my feet, trying to delay what I knew
was unavoidable. Mommy had to ask me to walk faster several times and I
could tell that she was becoming irritated with me.
"Pay attention young lady," She said sternly. "You can either quit stalling
and get this over with on your own or once we get into the mall, I will put
you over my knee, pull your pants down and spank you! Do you want everyone
to see your pretty panties while I spank you?"
"No Mommy, I'll be good." I promised. "Please don't spank me."
"Good girl," Mommy told me as she patted me on the head. "Now take my hand
and walk with me."
I hesitated for a second or so until Mommy turned and gave me that
look. Before she could say anything I quickly grabbed her hand and promised
to be a good girl. What's really weird is even though she hadn't told me
become a girl I suddenly felt happy and secure holding her hand and walking
with her. Could there be some left over effects of thinking of myself as a
girl, I wondered?
Mom wasted no time, taking me directly to a jewelry store that had a big
sign advertising ear piercing. As we walked into the shop I panicked and
began to pull back. I ran out of the store and sat on a bench. Mommy looked
at me very crossly then leaned over and whispered to me.
"You don't want to be nine years old, do you Jamie?" She asked. "How about
being fourteen and in high school?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please Mommy!"
Mommy had an evil grin on her face. "Fine, you can be a fourteen year old
girl in your old school. You'll look great with a cute figure. I'll bet
some of your old classmates would find you quite attractive. You have ten
seconds to get over there and get your ears pierced or you're going back to
your old school young lady!"
I didn't need any further prodding; I was on my way back into the store
before she could count to two.
"My daughter would like to get her ears pierced," Mommy told the clerk.
"May I pick out some pretty earrings too Mommy?" I asked without being
prompted, hoping to make up with her.
Mommy smiled at me and I instantly felt better. "Sure sweetheart, once the
lady's done with your ears I'll let you pick out any five pairs that you
like."
"Thank you Mommy," I said in as sweet a little girl's voice that I could. A
second later I felt something cold against my ears then felt a brief,
sharp, pain. It was final, I now had pierced ears.
That shopping trip ended with five pairs of earrings as Mommy as well as a
new hairstyle.
Mommy had kept the hairstyling a surprise until the very last minute. We
were walking through a department store hand in hand, headed back to the
car when suddenly she pulled me off to the hair styling department.
"I'd like to change my daughter's style a little bit," She told the stylist
with a smile. "Something a little shorter, say about to here." She pointed
to just below my ears.
Mommy and the stylist looked over several books while I had to be a good
little girl and sit quietly. Finally they decided on a style and I was led
back where my hair was shampooed and styled. Thirty minutes later I was
walking back to the car with a typical little girl's hairstyle of bangs and
ends that curled over. Mommy's last surprise was a bow, which perfectly
matched my running shorts, and top, which she tied into my hair.
"Was the haircut necessary?" I asked when I got into the car. "I was
behaving wasn't I?"
"You were wonderful Jamie," Mommy said proudly. "But I want to make sure we
remove all traces of the old you. When you look into a mirror the only
thing you should see is a pretty little girl." She told me as I stared at
my reflection in the car mirror.
She was absolutely right of course, with my new hairstyle, gold started
earrings in my newly pierced ears, my size and clothes; I was the picture
of a cute little girl.
"But I don't know anything about being a girl Mommy," I sighed. "Someone's
going to notice that this pretty little girl acts just like a boy."
"No they're not Jamie," Mom smiled as though laying down a hand filled with
aces at a poker game. "Aunt Patty is going to be staying with us for a
while to teach you how to be a girl."
"No, not Aunt Patty," I screamed. She was my favorite Aunt. "I never wanted
her to find out about this. Why did you have to tell her?"
"She understands Jamie," Mom assured me. "She loves you and she's willing
to help you."
"By teaching me how to act like a little girl?"
"Would you rather act like a teenage boy in a little girl's dress?" Mom
asked.
Why did she always have such good comebacks? I could imagine the laughter
if people thought that I was really a teenage boy wearing little girl's
clothes.
"No," I said beaten. "But Aunt Patty? I'll be totally humiliated if she
sees me in a dress."
"She'll think you're a doll Jamie dear," Mommy told me. "Actually, you look
so much cuter as a little girl than you were as a boy."
"Somehow I don't feel any better." I said as I absent mindedly toyed with
the elastic leg of my panties under my shorts. "When is she coming?"
"Monday morning will be the start of girl classes for you honey." Mommy
announced. "You'll have to pay close attention because we're moving in
about six weeks."
I was up bright and early Monday morning so that Mommy could help me pick
out something to wear. I wanted to wear a pair of shorts but Mommy insisted
that I wear my pink dress with petticoats.
"Not that Mommy," I complained. "I feel so silly wearing that dress."
"But honey, you look so adorable in that dress. I want to have you looking
just right when Aunt Patty meets her new niece." Mommy explained as she
undid a few buttons on my top.
"Please no Mommy," I pleaded. "I feel like a baby when I wear dresses like
that."
Mom thought for a few moments. Would you like me to help you honey?" She
asked in a soft voice.
"How?"
"I can fix it so that you'll like wearing a pretty dress like that." She
said slowly. "Would that help?"
"You'll turn me into a girl again," I said as tears started to cloud my
eyes. "Then I wouldn't be able to enjoy being with Aunt Patty."
"No honey," Mommy promised. "You'll still enjoy being with Aunt Patty, I'll
just fix it so that you'll like wearing pretty dresses."
"I'll still be me and have fun with Aunt Patty?" I asked hopefully.
"You'll be James but he'll want to be Jamie and wear pretty dresses, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. Anything to spend time with my favorite person!
Mommy sat down on the bed next to me and began to talk to me. "You've
always liked wearing my clothes; you love pretty dresses and wish you could
be a girl."
I had very pleasant memories of making Mommy laugh by putting on one of her
dresses and walking around the house in her heels. She would put makeup and
perfume on me and call me Jamie. I always had such a good time pretending
to be a girl and it was going to get better 'cause my Aunt Patty was going
to spend time with us and teach me how to act like a girl. Maybe Mommy will
let me go out as a girl again next Halloween!
"Time to get dressed honey," Mommy said to me. I hurried over and got my
petticoat, shoes, and socks.
"Can I wear that real fancy dress you bought me Mommy?" I asked sweetly. "I
got my petticoat and shoes and socks all by myself.
Mom nodded and I quickly pulled off my top and shorts and slid the
petticoat over my head. "It felt so nice to wear such silky things," I
though as I pulled it down and reached for the dress. "Girls are so lucky."
"I hope Aunt Patty thinks I'm pretty," I giggled as I pulled my dress over
my head. "Can you button me up Mommy, please?"
I was all dressed and feeling so pretty later on when the doorbell rang. I
saw Aunt Patty's car in the driveway and rushed to open the door.
"Hi Aunt Patty!" I smiled, as she looked me over carefully. "Like my new
dress?"
"It's beautiful Jamie, and so are you." She said as she gave me a hug and
kiss. "I've got a surprise for you."
"I love surprises Aunt Patty!" I giggled. "Can I have it please?" "First I
have to see if you're going to be a good girl," She teased. "I don't give
surprises to bad little girls or good little boys."
"I'll be good, and I'm a girl!" I insisted, fluffing my skirt to show off
my petticoat.
"You're a sweetie," Aunt Patty laughed. "But you're still a boy."
Turning to Mommy she winked. "Do I have permission to make a girl out of
him?"
"I suppose its okay," Mommy winked back. "But maybe we should ask him."
"Please make me a girl Aunt Patty," I begged. "I'll be such a good girl and
I really, really, like to wear pretty dresses."
"I'm glad you like wearing pretty dresses Jamie," She told me. "A pretty
girl like you should wear dresses whenever she can so people can see how
pretty she is. Your Mommy tells me you're going to start wearing them a lot
more soon. Is that right?"
I couldn't believe it. I could easily call up memories of my pending
conversion from a teenage boy to a nine year old girl but they no longer
upset me. I was looking forward to being able to wear pretty dresses, silky
underwear, and be a girl.
"That's right Aunt Patty, Mommy's going to let me start fourth grade over
as a girl! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Yes it certainly is," My Aunt agreed. "But you'll have to learn your
lessons well; we wouldn't want anyone to know that you're really a boy."
"I'll study real hard Aunt Patty," I swore. "I'll wear pretty dresses and
I'll act just like a girl."
Aunt Patty smiled; reached into the bag she had brought with her and pulled
out several baby dolls.
"What do I do with these?" I asked puzzled.
"You pretend to be their Mommy," My Aunt said as though I should have
known. "You hug them, sleep with them, and even have tea parties with
them. They're the best part of being a girl."
I shrugged my shoulders and took the dolls from my Aunt. I had promised to
be a good girl and I didn't want to upset Aunt Patty so I held the dolls
tight just like I had seen little girls do. I don't know why but I felt
good about holding and hugging my new dolls, maybe this girl stuff wouldn't
be that bad. Mommy had to leave for work so I gave her a big hug and kiss
then hurried over to start learning how to be a girl.
For the next couple of weeks my Aunt taught me everything there was to know
about being a girl. I learned how to sit and stand like a girl, how to
throw a ball like a girl, and especially how to dress and act like a
girl. One day though I was feeling really sad and when Aunt Patty asked
what was wrong I blurted out. "I don't want to be a girl, Aunt Patty. I
want to stay as a boy."
"You can't do that Jamie," She said softly as she pulled me close. "The
judge said that if you didn't become a girl he'd send you to jail."
"Then I'll go to jail." I insisted. "This is silly; I'm wearing dresses and
girl's underwear and even playing with dolls."
"You're a little short and frankly you're sort of cute Jamie." Aunt Patty
told me. "Do you know what the bigger, older boys would do to you at the
detention center? You'd end up being one of their girlfriends. How would
you like to be the steady girlfriend of some guy who can't wait to get to
your pretty little butt? You could be his personal baby doll, I'm sure he'd
enjoy playing with you."
I felt sick to my stomach thinking about what my Aunt had said. How could I
have been so stupid? If the guys at school picked on me, what would they do
to me at the detention center? I could imagine a few unspeakable things
that they'd want me to do to them and that was enough for me.
I straightened out my skirt and apologized to my Aunt. "I'll be a good
girl, Aunt Patty. I promise."
"I'm sure you will Jamie," She told me as she kissed my cheek. "You'll be a
pretty one too."
At that moment nothing in the world meant more to me than my Aunt telling
me that she thought I'd be a pretty girl. I became determined to do
anything I had to do to stay out of the detention center. I wasn't about to
become any one's girlfriend, that's for sure!
Aunt Patty taught me how to play jacks, jump rope, hold tea parties with my
baby dolls, and the joys of Barbie. We used to sit and play jacks with our
skirts spread out around us or go into my yard where no one could see us
and jump rope or play with the baby dolls she had given me. If it was a
rainy day we'd spend it inside playing dress up with my Barbie's or
sometimes playing with a toy makeup kit Mommy had given me.
Aunt Patty would sometimes take me on shopping trips to the mall, just to
get out of the house. One day I got really scared when I saw a boy I knew
from school walking straight towards us. I had been out of school for
almost two months and had completely forgotten that it was a scheduled day
off for my old school.
"Aunt Patty," I whispered fearfully. "I know that boy; he'll recognize me
in a second."
"No Jamie," My Aunt told me as she squeezed the hand that she was
holding. "Trust me, okay?"
I couldn't do anything else since by then the kid was right in front of
me. I wanted to turn and run but he looked right at me and then past me as
if I wasn't there. He passed us without a second look and I finally started
to breathe again. "What did I tell you?" Aunt Patty asked. "Do you think
that he recognized you?"
"He looked right at me, but I'm not even sure he saw me." I said, barely
able to conceal my wonder.
"He saw a nine year old girl out shopping with her mother." My Aunt
explained. "He didn't know me so there was no reason for him to look at
you. You're very cute, but you're way too young to interest a teenage boy."
She laughed.
"I still don't believe it." I said in shock. "We went to school together
for eight years, we were in the same classes, but he didn't know who I am."
"Face it Jamie, you don't look anything like you did. Would he expect to
see a boy he once knew all dressed up like a little girl in a cute top,
pleated skirt, knee socks, and saddle shoes walking though the mall, his
hair curled with a ribbon in it?"
I reached down and ran a hand over my skirt. I didn't know if I should be
happy or sad, all I knew for sure was that as far as anyone was concerned,
I was a little girl. Something inside of me though found the experience
thrilling and I asked Aunt Patty if we could try to fool some other kids.
"Don't try too hard Jamie," She advised. "You don't want to give them a
reason to take a good look at you. Let them decided for themselves that
you're just a little girl, it's safer that way."
I was a good girl and behaved myself for Aunt Patty but I did have one run
in with a girl from my old class while I was trying on a dress. I had
unzipped it just a little too much and was having a hard time reaching the
back zipper to pull it up when the girl saw me and offered to help. "That's
a cute dress," She said with a smile. "And you look very nice in it; I hope
your Mom buys it for you."
"Me too," I said in my best little girl voice. She smiled again and walked
away never realizing that we once went to a dance together.
When we got home I was so worked up that I just had to rush over and tell
my baby dolls all about my adventure. I have to admit that after weeks of
playing with them I was getting very attached to my baby dolls, all of
which I had named. I took them to bed with me and talked to them about
being a girl before I went to sleep at night. They were always very polite
and good listeners.
One day my Aunt said she had another surprise for me. I thought it might be
another baby doll, which would have been okay since my old ones kept asking
to meet new friends. Instead she went to her car and brought in this dress
that made my heart pound.
It was very soft and looked just like a light pink velvet material. I
didn't even try to resist the urge to try it on; I just wanted that dress
so badly.
"Wait a minute here," My Aunt laughed. "Aren't you the boy who hates
dresses?"
"Not me, Aunt Patty, I'm a girl." I laughed, pretending to be insulted. "I
love pretty clothes, especially pretty dresses like that one."
"My mistake," My Aunt laughed. "Someone told me that a boy lived here."
I shook my head. "I've never met him, now may I try that dress on please?"
"You'll need these too," My Aunt reached into a bag and pulled out a
package containing my fist pair of stockings and a pair of shoes with a low
heel. "I wanted to give my favorite niece her first pair of heels."
"I love you Aunt Patty," I kissed her and rushed off to my room to
change. I was so excited, my fist pair of heels! I was going to dress up
just like a big girl in a pretty dress, stockings, and heels.
Rushing to my room I quickly pulled off my sleeveless top, stepped out of
my denim skirt, and kicked off my sandals. I found a pretty full slip with
a little lace trim and a pretty pink rose at the front and slid it over my
head. In just a few weeks, with Aunt Patty and Mommy's help, I not only
learned to put up with wearing girl's underwear, I actually came to enjoy
it. The feel of my pretty slip as it slid over my bare chest and rubbed
against my legs was so nice, much nicer feeling than anything boy's clothes
I wore. Now, as I sat on my bed and carefully pulled on my first pair of
stockings, I could hardly calm down. Mommy and Aunt Patty trusted me enough
as a big girl to buy me special things like these pantyhose. They promised
me that I'd love the way they felt on my legs and probably wouldn't want to
take them off again.
I carefully pulled and tugged until I had the pantyhose all the way up to
my waist, just like the package directions said, and boy were Mommy and
Aunt Patty right! I couldn't believe how silky my legs felt and when I
looked in the mirror my legs looked so pretty.
I carefully pulled on my dress then tugged it so that my slip wouldn't show
under it. Mommy said that a girl should never let her slip show because it
makes her look sloppy so I'm always careful to check my slip after I put on
a dress or skirt.
The dress was just so soft I couldn't believe it. It was lined on the
inside too so it felt like I had on an extra slip because it was so
slippery. I carefully put on my new shoes and stood up, not sure if I could
walk in them because they had a heel and none of my other shoes did. Lucky
for me they really weren't too much different than my other shoes to walk
in. Looking in the mirror though, they were so different than my other
shoes, so grown up looking, not something for little girl, but shoes a big
girl would wear and I was the big girl wearing them. I brushed my hair,
carefully put in a pair of pink earrings Mommy had bought me, put a ribbon
and barrettes in my hair to match my dress then hurried to show off for my
Aunt.
"How do I look Aunt Patty?" I called out excitedly as I twirled around and
around making myself dizzy. This is the prettiest, softest, dress I've ever
worn. It's my favorite from now on."
"Come on Jamie," Aunt Patty took my hand and led me to the table. "I'm not
done with you yet. She told me as she painted my nails to match my
dress. "Don't touch anything with them for about ten minutes," She
advised. "They need to dry."
I nodded happily, unable to talk because I was about to burst from joy. My
nails looked so pretty and the shade was a perfect match for my dress. Aunt
Patty had obviously planned everything out, no wonder I loved her so much.
I sat quietly watching TV and talking to my dolls while waiting for my
nails to dry. I wished that I understood why I felt so happy wearing a
dress and girls underwear, but I couldn't figure it out. I should be out
riding my bike, climbing a tree or scaling a wall, but I was just so happy
to be all dressed up and looking so pretty that I couldn't imagine doing
those things. Why climb a silly tree and risk falling down when I could
have so much more fun having a tea party with my dolls? Mommy had promised
that once we got to Arizona she'd buy me a new bike, a pink one that said
"Barbie" in real big letters so I didn't mind waiting.
"I talked to your Mommy Jamie; she can't wait to see how pretty you look in
your new dress." Aunt Patty smiled. "She wants the three of us girls to go
out to dinner tonight, okay?"
"That's so nice, Aunt Patty," I started to cry. I was so worked up and
confused. I wanted to show off my new clothes to everybody. I wanted them
to stop Mommy and Aunt Patty and tell them that I was the prettiest little
girl they'd ever seen. I was a teenage boy who wanted to be the world's
prettiest little girl and I couldn't help myself, it was exciting to see
people I knew and not have them recognize me. Sort of like being invisible,
I guess.
I'd have bet the girls at school would have flipped if they knew who the
little girl watching them adjust their pantyhose and bras in the ladies
room really was. Too bad I couldn't tell anyone.
Mom was acting a whole lot different towards me. We didn't argue back and
forth much anymore, unless it was over what I was going to wear. Sometimes
she wanted to make me wear such babyish outfits when I wanted to wear what
other girls my age wore. Other than that we were getting to be so close, I
helped zip up her dress
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