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Psychic Sister
Chapter 1 - The Vision
I was woken by the doorbell at 6:30 a.m. on that Sunday in November 1997 which
changed my life completely. I was in my senior year in college then, majored in
business and expected to graduate in summer. I lived on my own in a small
apartment. At the door was my 19 years old sister, Rebecca, and she was very
nervous.
"Sorry that I disturbed your sleep, but I couldn't wait," she said when she came
into my apartment. "I had a vision."
"About me?" I asked a little worried and she nodded.
I wasn't that surprised that Rebecca had a vision, she has them quite often. But
it must be serious if she's so nervous and has to come to me this early in the
morning.
My sister has had visions since she was a little girl and they nearly always
come true. Well, one part of the visions at least. Her visions always consist of
two parts and only one of them really happens. For example she once saw Mom
sitting in the park feeding ducks and a robber stealing Mom's handbag. Rebecca
was still very young then and we didn't believe im her visions yet. Besides not
everything she saw came true after all. So a few days later Mom went through a
park while shopping and thought about feeding the ducks, but then she decided
she hadn't enough time and so continued shopping. Well, a short time later a
robber grabbed her bag and took off with it. If she had spent some more time in
the park the robber probably would have stolen some other bag. After that event
we recognized the pattern and usually avoided the worse part of her visions.
Some very few times we managed to avoid both parts of Rebecca's visions, at
least we think so. For example my sister saw a dog getting killed by a car and
then that we took the dog home and kept it. A few days later we really saw a
lost dog and debated what we should do. It would be hard to care for it as we
all were quite busy and we didn't have any garden. We knew though that if we'd
do nothing the dog would be killed with high probability. So we actually took
the dog home but then brought it to the animal pound so that either the real
owner or a new home could be found. Some months later we checked on the dog and
found out he had a new home and was still alive.
And now my sister had had a vision again and it seemed to disturb her very much.
"What did you see?" I asked her when we sat down in my living room.
"I'm sorry, but I've seen your gravestone. It said Dennis L. Wagner, born 14th
February 1976, died 3rd November 1998. Mom and me stood at your grave and
mourned you."
"Oh no!" That was a schock. "What was the other part?"
"It was a Christmas scene, you, Mom, me and another woman sitting at a Christmas
tree. But you were not a man but a woman."
"A Woman? Did I dress up as a woman for Christmas?"
"No you weren't just dressing up. You looked, moved and behaved like a real
woman. Much more feminine than you could ever be now."
"But how? I'm a man after all and never even dressed up as a woman."
Chapter 2 - Decisions and First Dress-up
We drove together to Mom who lived one hour away to discuss this with her. It
was certainly serious and it would be better to get all the input possible.
Mom was shocked too of course when she heard about Rebecca's vision. She had
lost Dad only a year ago and the concept of losing her son too now was nearly
too much. But I had a way out at least, even though I didn't know yet how to
manage it.
We all had heard about transsexuals, so there was a possibility to become a
woman. But that certainly wouldn't be easy and not possible to do until
Christmas which was only a few weeks away. But the second part of the vision
didn't have to happen that year, after all the first part would happen about a
year later too. So we all agreed that it would be enough to be a woman on 3rd
November 1998. We briefly thought if I could somehow get out of it like we did
with the dog some years ago, but we saw no possibility and the risk of dying was
too big anyway. Better to be an alive woman than a dead man.
So I had nearly a year for me to become a woman, but we decided it would be best
to start as soon as possible. I would research about transsexuals as I had done
quite some research on the Internet already. My sister thought that I should do
something more practical too. She wanted me to dress up as woman right away, so
that I would get used to it. Reluctantly I agreed, after all she was right.
Rebecca started right away by getting a tape measure, ordering me to disrobe and
taking all kinds of measurements.
"Good," she said, "you're not much taller than me, only a little wider at waist
and chest and a little narrower at the hips. Quite some of my clothes should fit
you. Now go into the bathroom to shower and shave your beard and legs."
"Shave my legs?"
"Sure, pantyhose doesn't look that good on hairy legs."
"Pantyhose?"
"Yes, better get used to them right away."
Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. So I did as I was ordered. While I was
busy Mom and Rebecca selected clothes for me to wear from those my sister left
at Mom's while she was studying in the city. So when I came out of the bathroom
I stood in front of a pile of female clothes.
With some help I dressed as a woman: panties, bra stuffed with some socks, tan
pantyhose, a short black skirt and a red sweater. I had no shoes though as my
feet were too large for either Mom's or Rebecca's shoes. My hair was too short
for a woman and I had no makeup either, but that was soon corrected as I was
directed to the vanity. My mother and sister showed me how to apply makeup, but
insisted I do the actual applying myself, after all they wouldn't always be
around to do it for me. After many corrections they finally approved of the
result for now.
When I looked at the result in a full length mirror I was disappointed though. I
didn't see a woman, but a man in women's clothes and with makeup. This certainly
needed a lot more work. But then I had nearly a year left to get perfect. And
the short hair certainly didn't help.
Mom saw my disappointed look and said, "Don't worry, this is just the first try,
and with a wig it'll look a lot better anyway. Besides you don't wear any
jewelry either."
"Ah yes," added Rebecca, "You'll have to get your ears pierced so you can wear
nice earrings."
"Oh yeah, what else will I have to do?" I replied.
"We'll see as you go on. Ah yes, you need a female name."
"Hmm, I don't know. Mom, what name would you have given me if I'd been born a
girl?"
"We didn't select any female name because we knew you're a boy before you were
born," Mom said. "But how about 'Denise'? It's close to your male name."
"Yes, I like 'Denise' too," Rebecca said after a little thinking.
"Okay, sounds good. So I'll be Denise," I agreed. "Well, I guess I can remove
this all now then." Somehow I was uncomfortable in this outfit.
"Oh no, Denise, you're far from finished yet," my sister replied. "You have a
lot to learn still, like how to move like a woman. And besides it's best you
wear women's clothes as much as you can so that it feels natural soon."
That resulted in practicing sitting, standing and walking like a woman, and I
was happy I didn't wear heels yet like my sister told me I'd do soon. Finally it
was time to go back to the city though, so I removed the makeup and clothes and
dressed as me again. Rebecca packed quite some of her makeup and clothes
including some nighties though, so that I could dress in them when I was at
home.
Chapter 3 - Shopping And A New Friend
I was glad I lived alone, because I must have looked hilarious in my nighty the
next morning. But soon I was dressed in male clothes again and on my way to
college. When I had some time I searched for transsexual resources on the
Internet and got overwhelmed. There were thousands of pages and I had a hard
time to find those who really had information I could use. I learned quite a lot
about transsexuals anyway.
When I came home I didn't really want to dress up again, but I knew it was
necessary. So I selected what seemed to be an acceptable combination of clothes
and dressed in them. Then I used some makeup too which took much more time than
I liked. After that I spent the rest of the evening as a woman, well, as close
of an approximation as I could, but I hardly felt like a woman.
The next day Rebecca took me shopping. First we went into a wig shop where we
were served by an older lady. When I told her nervously that I looked for a wig
for me she reassured me by saying that quite some crossdressers and transsexuals
were buying wings at her shop. It was quite worth the little embarrassment to go
there, because they had a big selection of good wigs and I could try them on to
find one which really was right for me. It was the same blond as my own hair and
shoulder length.
Next my sister took me into a shoe store. Here we were not the only customers
though. But then I had to get used to that. I didn't expect to be able to become
a woman without a time of being in-between, where I would be recognized as a man
wearing female clothes. So when a young saleswoman approached us and asked if
she could help us I nervously told her I'd need women's shoes.
"Women's shoes for you, sir? Umm, sure. Do you know your size?"
I wasn't sure, so she measured my feet and declared me a size 10. She asked me
what style I wanted and Rebecca told her I'd need a pair of casual flats and
some more dressy pumps, both black. The saleswoman then showed us several shoes.
"Um, may I ask why you need women's shoes?" she asked me while I tried them on.
"Well, I'm a transsexual and I want to become a woman," I replied. That was
close enough to the real truth.
"Oh, that must be hard. I saw some report on TV about transsexuals. But you're
cute, you'll make a pretty woman," she said smiling.
"Thanks, you're very nice. Somehow I expected a lot worse reactions."
Just at that moment a man walked by and mumbled "Damn fags!" when he saw me
trying on women's shoes. So much for good reactions. Besides I wasn't a
homosexual anyway.
"I'm sorry, some people are just stupid. Don't let that get to you. You're
always welcome here. By the way, my name is Emily."
"Thank you, I'm Dennis. Well, soon Denise. And this is my sister Rebecca."
Emily seemed genuinely interested and asked a lot questions about what I had to
do to become a woman. I told her that I was just starting and still researching
and probably needed a lot of practice before I could go on the street as a
woman. And then she offered to help me. I liked Emily and so I accepted. We
exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet on Sunday.
I finally ended up buying 3 pairs of shoes: flats, low heeled pumps and 4" high
stiletto heels. I was very wobbly in the high heels and nearly fell over when I
tried to stand up, but Rebecca said I'd get used to them.
The following days I researched on the net again and dressed up at home in the
evenings. Twice my sister came over to help me, but she had her own life too.
With the wig I looked much more womanly and I didn't feel so ridiculous anymore.
* * *
Sunday I was very nervous. It would be the first time somebody besides my family
would see me in women's clothes. I debated if I should receive her dressed as a
woman, but I thought she'd like to see each step of the transformation. When
Emily arrived we didn't start right away but first talked for some time. After
all we didn't know much of each other. She was actually a year younger than me
and still lived with her family. She didn't have the luck to have rich parents
like me and so couldn't go to college full-time, but she took some evening
courses. We found out that we had quite some common interests and I liked her
more and more.
Finally we started my transformation. Of course putting on clothes wasn't that
special, but she had some makeup tips that my Mom and sister didn't know of. She
helped me selecting accessories which improved my outfit a lot in the end. So
finally I stood in front of her in a blue dress, dark hose and my black pumps. A
wide belt, a silk scarf and some bracelets completed the look.
"Denise, you're really pretty," Emily said and then hugged me.
I blushed and then hugged her back. "Thank you, but ..."
"No 'but', you are pretty."
And then she kissed me. Not only a peck, but a really intimate kiss. And I
kissed her back.
When we separated we were both a little embarrassed, but I didn't regret it at
all. We were getting hungry and so we ordered some food. It was a romantic
dinner with candlelight and wine. With her smiling at me I felt comfortable in
female clothes for the first time.
After dinner I modeled some more of the clothes my sister had given me. Even
though Rebecca had tried to select clothes which would fit me some of them
didn't look that good on me, and they were all used of course. So Emily
suggested that we go shopping the following Wednesday as that was her day off.
Then it was time for her to leave and we kissed again as good-bye.
* * *
Shopping with Emily on Wednesday afternoon was nice. I was less nervous this
time as I didn't have to try on all the clothes, because I knew my sizes from
the clothes I had already. The few clothes I had to try on I snug into the
changing cubicle and only wore there, with Emily looking in of course. Then she
led me into the lingerie section. I needed more underwear too of course, but she
insisted on buying lacy bras and panties and even garter belts and stockings.
She said she liked her girlfriends to be sexy and winked at me.
After our shopping spree we ate a little at a restaurant, but then it was time
to say goodbye. We agreed to meet again on Sunday though.
At home I changed into my new clothes, but when I wore the lacy lingerie the
look was disturbed very much by the socks I used as false breasts. On the net I
had read about silicone breast forms and found a shop in the city that catered
to crossdressers and transsexuals, so I decided to go there the following day.
I was shopping alone this time, but then this store would be sympathetic to my
needs. The shop assistant actually was very nice and showed me the breast form
models they had. After I selected a pair I asked if they had something to reduce
the bulge in the crotch area and got a gaff for that.
Chapter 4 - First Experiences As A Woman
The next Sunday I surprised Emily by greeting her in my most sexy outfit, a red
top and, tight black miniskirt, black stockings and my 4" heels. I had practiced
a lot so that I could walk quite fine in the stiletto heels. Emily was
pleasantly surprised and we couldn't stop kissing each other. Then Emily
surprised me by pulling me into my bedroom and saying "I want you! Right now!"
Soon I was laying on the bed and Emily removed my skirt and top. Then she had
another pleasant surprise when she saw my smooth crotch and well formed breasts
in my lacy, black underwear. I removed her clothes too and we made love like two
women. We kissed us everywhere. I removed her panties and kissed her pussy too.
Finally she turned around, removed my panties and the gaff and then she took my
cock into her beautiful mouth. We were pleasuring each other until we both had a
wonderful orgasm.
"I love you," I told Emily.
"I love you too," she replied and then we kissed each other for the longest
time.
After we regained our breath Emily suggested to go out, with me as woman. I
didn't feel ready for that yet. My girlfriend, and Emily certainly was my
girlfriend now, persuaded me to go for a walk at least. Besides it was getting
dark anyway and nobody would recognize me. So I dressed in some casual clothes
and we went for a stroll through the neighborhood. I was nervous of course, but
after several people walked by and didn't notice anything special I felt better.
We were holding hands and even kissed each other when nobody was in sight.
I was so happy that I had done my first steps as a woman in public, because it
increased my confidence a lot. I felt a little more comfortable in women's
clothes now too, but my girlfriend's acceptance and love certainly helped a lot
there. I was still worried if I could survive as a woman, or if I'd miss being a
man. And I didn't want to lose my cock either. But that wasn't really necessary.
Many transsexuals lived as woman with a cock and I doubt that that little detail
would be important in Rebecca's vision. Besides I had read that one whole year
of a so called Real Life Test had to be absolved before a transsexual could get
a sex change operation, and I didn't have a year left.
For now I was happy, and I showed it to my girlfriend by pulling her into the
bedroom for another round of sex. The evening was over much too early though and
Emily had to go home again. But not without a big kiss and a promise from me to
go out somewhere the next Saturday.
* * *
On the Internet I had found a list with support groups for transsexuals and
contacted one that met in the city. They had meetings on the 2nd and 4th
Thursday of each month. The next one was the following week and I decided to go
there then.
Another thing bothered me: my voice. It certainly wasn't female. Fortunately I
found a voice training tape on the net and ordered it. There were some samples
and I downloaded them to start my voice training as soon as possible.
On Saturday I prepared myself to go out as a woman at first, but then I got big
doubts. Last Sunday I had been in the dark always, but this time I'd be in
lightened rooms. And there'd certainly people who would recognize me as a man
and some of them might react badly then. And I didn't know where I should go
anyway. I couldn't go to my usual hangouts of course, as I wasn't ready to out
myself yet. So I called her to cancel, but she was on her way already.
When she arrived she was disappointed of course, but she said she could
understand that I was afraid. Then she suggested we go out anyway, but with me
as man. I was glad that getting ready to go out didn't nearly take as much time
for a man as for a woman, so that my girlfriend didn't have to wait long and we
were on our way for a fun night out.
When we came home we went straight into my bedroom. Emily had packed a bag to
stay over, so we had all night. But when I wanted to make love to her she wasn't
as enthusiastic as the week before. Only when I put on my wig, female underwear
and breast forms did I see that glow in her eyes again. And that glow was well
worth it.
* * *
Sunday morning was the first time for much too long that I didn't wake up alone.
I dressed as a woman again of course, but casually in jeans and sweater. We
spent the whole day together, snuggling a lot, and making love too. Emily even
managed to get me out for a stroll before it was really dark, which was a
confidence booster as it went all fine.
Of course the day was over much too soon. But at least my girlfriend had agreed
to come with me to that support group meeting the next Thursday, so we would
meet again soon.
* * *
Tuesday the voice training tape arrived and I spent quite some time using the
lessons on it from then on.
In the evening the doorbell rang suddenly. I was dressed as a woman as usual
now. My friends usually called when they wanted to visit me. I was very worried
if I should open the door. Finally I said to myself that at some time it would
come out anyway. When I opened I was very glad that it was my sister though.
Rebecca complimented me on my look and then I had to tell her everything that
happened the last two weeks. Well, I didn't actually tell her I had sex with
Emily, but I think she could guess. She was glad that things progressed well and
offered her help again, but at that moment I had all the help I needed.
* * *
Finally it was Thursday and I had to get ready for the support group. I chose a
casual dress and the low heeled pumps. I wanted to appear feminine, but not
overdo it. Emily liked my choice.
When it was time to leave I got nervous again. I'd have to go out in bright
daylight and then I'd have to meet several people as a woman and talk with them
with my deep voice. But they would be sympathetic of course, as they had the
same problem as me. Well, mostly. They didn't have a vision that said, "You'll
die if you don't become a woman." But then I had read that transsexuals often
committed suicide, so it was a matter of life or death for some of them too.
I got into the car without being seen and we were on our way. Emily had to hold
my hand to calm me down though when we reached the destination and I had to go
into the meeting room. There were several women and a few men there already or
arrived shortly after us. A lot of the women were recognizable as transsexuals
(or crossdressers) and most men looked rather boyish. The clothes ranged from
casual to evening wear and the age from about 20 to 50.
One woman approached me. "Hello, you two must be new here," she greeted us. "My
name is Hellen Francis and I'm the president of our support group. Welcome
here."
"Thank you," I said in my not so female voice, "I think we phoned last week. I'm
Denise and this is my girlfriend Emily."
"Yes, I remember you. Well, as you can see we're quite a mixed crowd. Today we
first have a lecture about the different methods of beard removal, then some
general discussion and after that most of us go to a bar for a nice evening
among friends."
She then gave me some information material and a membership form. After that she
introduced us to some other members of the group. They all made me feel welcome
and we chatted a little. Then it was time for the lecture.
The lecture had quite some useful information. It seemed traditional
electrolysis was still better than the new laser treatment. I got some address
for a good and cheap electrolysist too.
After the formal part was over we joined the members who went to a nearby bar.
In the group I felt comfortable and secure, even though I knew that I'd probably
be recognized as a man, especially if I said something. But the people here must
be used to transsexuals and crossdressers by now.
The chat with the others was nice and informative. I got recommendations for a
shrink and endocrinologist (that are the doctors who administer hormones) and
some other places to go out to. I even got invited to join some of them on
Saturday. Emily and me accepted and this time I'd really go out as a woman.
After all I was out as a woman now already and I had got quite some compliments
on my looks.
The next day was a workday, so the evening ended quite early. The next support
group meeting would be in four weeks as it was Christmas in two weeks.
* * *
Friday I made appointments with the shrink and electrolysist whom I got
recommended. The electrolysist had time the next Wednesday because of a
cancellation, but the shrink was busy until 5th January. Well, Christmas was
probably a bad time to start.
Saturday the evening out as woman was nice, but when I left my apartment I met a
neighbor on the stairs. He looked strangely at me but didn't say anything. Well,
that was supposed to happen at some time.
I spent Sunday with Emily again and she pulled me out for a walk again. When we
were at a cinema she saw that a movie she'd like to watch showed there. Well, it
is dark in a cinema anyway, so I agreed. Of course I forgot that there is a lot
of light before the movie begins. But then I'd have to learn to be in public.
Emily told me that I looked just fine and nobody would guess I'd be male. And
really, nobody noticed.
Wednesday I had my first electrolysis setting and I experienced why the other
transsexuals called it zapping. Ouch! And I would have to do that every week for
at least 2 years.
Chapter 5 - Christmas Time
It was Thursday, only one week before Christmas, when my sister visited me
again. We chatted a little and then she suddenly got serious.
"Does Emily's family know about you? Did you see them already?" she asked.
"No, I didn't meet them yet and they don't know about me, at least not about
Denise. Her parents know that she has a boyfriend though."
"But do you intend to visit them soon?"
"Hmm, yes, we talked about that. Her parents are curious and want to meet me,
and we thought Christmas would be a good time."
"Okay, but go as Dennis and not as Denise. And better don't tell them about
Denise yet."
"Why?"
"I had a vision again. First you as Dennis and Emily meet some older people, I
assume her parents. Then Emily is thrown out by her parents. Emily still lives
with them, doesn't she?"
"Yes, she does. So you think her parents won't accept me as Denise?"
"Yeah, I don't see what else is significant about you visiting them as a man."
"You're probably right. But at some time they will have to know about me. So
they will just throw her out at a later time."
"Perhaps, but perhaps it's just the wrong time now."
"I hope so."
* * *
Emily and I spent Saturday evening and Sunday together again. We talked about
visiting our parents too. My mother had invited us for Christmas Eve and her
parents for the next day.
"I think you should meet my parents as Denise," my girlfriend said. "You seem to
be quite comfortable as a woman now and I don't want to hide you from them."
"No, I can't. I don't think your parents would react well on me this way."
"Why do you think that? You don't know them. I love you so much, they just have
to like you too."
"Parents sometimes have strange ideas whom their children may love."
"So you think may parents are some rednecks who tell their daughter whom to love
and whom not?" she replied annoyed.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't be the model husband in their eyes."
"If you think that, why do you even want to meet them at all?" She was really
angry now and I didn't know how to calm her down again, except to tell her the
truth.
"Okay, I'll tell you something now. You might not want to believe it, but it's
true anyway. Please calm down and listen."
"Hmm, okay, go on."
"Well, my sister is psychic. She has visions sometimes and nearly always they
come true. Some weeks ago she had a vision that I have to become a woman or I'd
die. That is the reason why I do all this. I'm not really a transsexual in the
sense that I feel to be a woman inside, but just like them I have to become a
woman."
"And what does have to do with my parents?"
"My sister had another vision this week. She saw that if I don't visit your
parents as Dennis then they'll throw you out."
"That is thick."
"I know it's hard to believe, but why should I make this up? I love you and I
don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to get problems with your parents
either. So even if you don't believe me, could we keep Denise secret for now,
just to be on the save side?"
She wasn't persuaded yet, but after I told her more about Rebecca's visions she
finally seemed to believe me. At least she agreed to visit her parents with me
as Dennis and not to mention my female side.
* * *
As Christmas Eve was a Wednesday Emily didn't have to work that day fortunately.
So we drove to visit my mother early in the morning. As I really was quite
comfortable in female clothes now and Mom certainly would want to see how I
managed now I chose to go as Denise. I wore a nice dress with a floral pattern,
tan hose and my 4" heels and Emily wore a dress too, even though she was usually
a jeans and sweater girl.
When we arrived Mom and I hugged each other, which we didn't do often before.
She liked what she saw and complimented me on my looks. Mom was glad to meet my
girlfriend too and they hit it off well. My sister arrived a little later and we
spent a nice day with each other. Mom was very happy to have three daughters
now.
"So, Rebecca, is this the scene you saw in your vision?" Emily asked when we all
sat beneath the Christmas tree.
"You know?"
"I told her about your visions," I explained.
"Hmm, it was quite some weeks ago already," Rebecca said, "but I think it's not
quite right. You are the fourth woman whom I didn't know then. But Denise isn't
as feminine yet as in the vision. But that doesn't matter, we expect the vision
to come true next year anyway."
I really hoped it would come true, because that would mean I'd stay together
with Emily too, and I was very much in love.
* * *
The next day I finally met my girlfriend's parents. But as we agreed we kept
Denise a secret. It was actually quite fun to talk with them, but I just hoped
they could somehow accept me as Denise too. Fortunately Rebecca had had her
vision or we probably wouldn't have sat there happily in their living room. For
now they seemed happy that their daughter had found a boyfriend.
Chapter 6 - Transition
On Saturday after Christmas Emily and I went out to the transgender friendly
bars and met our new friends from the support group again. This actually became
our usual activity for Saturday nights. Some men tried to pick me up at the bar
and this made me feel good even though I had no intention to ever date a man.
I was finally comfortable enough as woman that I dared going shopping in bright
daylight, first only with my girlfriend, but then alone too. And it seemed
everybody accepted me as a woman even though I got probably read as a man
sometimes. I had spent most of my time at home in female clothes in the last
weeks, but now I started to appear in public as woman often too.
I met some more neighbors on the stairs. Most only looked and said nothing for
now, like the one whom I had met before, but one woman congratulated me to my
courage.
And then came the appointment with the shrink on 5th January of the new year. I
had read a lot about transsexuals by then and even talked to a few who had
visited exactly this shrink, so I knew what kind of question to expect and what
she wanted to hear. I wanted to get my recommendation for hormones as quickly as
possible. And appearing comfortably as woman was probably a big factor too. So I
dressed in a stylish business suit and high heels for the meeting.
I was nervous when I met her at first anyway, but soon she managed to calm me
down, telling be how she was here to help and not to judge me. I told her
actually the truth about me, except for the reason why I needed to become a
woman. As I was slight of built I had really had some problems with bullies in
school and I had kept to myself like many transsexuals for example. I just added
that I felt that I didn't fit in and that I finally found out why. And that I
felt much better since I spent more and more time as woman. That I had to become
a woman was the truth again.
She seemed impressed by my natural appearance and my determination. She liked
the support group, the electrolysis, the support by my family and girlfriend and
my plan for transition. I didn't appear to be psychological unstable or deluded
and so she okayed hormones right away. I didn't expect that, but was happy about
it of course. We made an appointment for the 9th February for the next
consultation and she wished me much luck on my way.
On the next day I had my second electrolysis session, which would be a regular
date on Tuesdays and Saturdays from then on. I went there as woman too.
Thursday was a support group meeting again and I met most of my new
transgendered friends. Four weeks before I was still doing my first steps as a
woman in public, but I had changed a lot in the meantime. And a lot of people
told me it was visible for them too. Even though I didn't seem to need that much
support anymore I'd continue to go to the meetings, to meet my new friends and
perhaps give support for my peers too.
The Tuesday of the following week I saw an endocrinologist about the hormones.
He took some blood sample and if everything would be okay I'd be getting a
prescription the next week. So on Monday the 19th I had the first prescription
of Estinyl in my hands. He would have prescribed an anti-androgen too, but Emily
and me liked it when I penetrated her and with estrogen alone I'd get the
feminizing affect and had a chance that my cock stayed functional.
The hormones would make me infertile soon though, so I had actually deposited
some samples at a sperm bank in case we wanted children later.
* * *
It was finally time to tell my friends. I had seen them less in the last time
because of Emily and because I spent most of my free time as woman now. Some had
met Emily already and so thought that she was the reason. So when I finally told
them of the real reason they were all quite surprised. Most of them were okay
with it, but a few rejected me for my decision. Well, there's always some loss.
I could live with it, even if it was sad.
As I didn't want to live two lives I intended to transition at college as soon
as possible too. One step in that direction was to give a transition party for
my friends, so that they could get used to see me as woman before they saw me
that way in college. I didn't have enough room to host it myself, so I invited
them to a bar and would pay the first two rounds of drinks. And as my birthday
happened to be soon I chose that date to be my transition date and combine my
birthday and transition party.
From the 14th February 1998 on I would appear as woman full-time. It would be
the official begin of the Real Life Test, but then that didn't matter as I
didn't intend to get any surgery.
A few more things needed to be done. First was to change my name legally. That
was actually much more easy than I had thought. I just went to the DMV and had
to fill a form. I had got a letter from my doctor that I was undergoing
treatment for gender dysphoria and needed to live as a woman for that which I
added to my request and they said I'd get my new driver's license in four to six
weeks. I'd have to wait that long before I could change my other documents.
I talked with the student counselor at college and he said it would be no
problem. I seemed not to be the first student who transitioned. I'd have to wait
for my driver's license to change my records, but I could attend the classes as
woman before that. To be on the secure side I told my teachers about my upcoming
change too.
On 9th February I had my second session with my shrink. I just reported how my
life went and of my upcoming transition at college. As I didn't really have a
need for another session we agreed that I'd see her next in about 6 months.
Finally it was my birthday. I was woken by Emily with a kiss and then she served
me breakfast in bed. Usually she would have to work on Saturdays, but she took
the day off, so we could celebrate. After I had finished my meal my girlfriend
gave me my birthday gift and told me to open it immediately. It was a very sexy
set of lingerie, a beautiful red teddy with black trim and garters, matching
panties and black, seamed stockings. Emily demanded that I wear it on my
birthday. I actually put it on right away and then I pulled her back into the
bed and showed her how much I liked her gift. It was a good start into the rest
of my life as woman.
At 4 p.m. I had an appointment at the beautician. My hair had grown long enough
meanwhile so that it could be cut and styled femininely, even if it was still
quite short. Then I got a professional makeover including nail extensions. Even
though I was quite accomplished in doing my makeup by now, a professional still
could do it much better. I was beautiful when I looked into the mirror before I
left.
For my party that evening I wore my new lingerie including the seamed stockings,
a tight, black dress that only went to mid thigh and my 4" high black heels. I
wanted to impress my friends and I seemed to be successful. Many of my male
friends stared quite unashamedly at my features when they saw me. And the female
friends congratulated me on my looks too. Only a few had seen me before when
they visited me at home in the days after my coming out, but I was dressed
casually then.
My friends actually related differently to me now. I was a buddy for the men
before which I actually would have liked to stay, but somehow most couldn't and
instinctively treated a woman differently. With the women the change was more
positive. I was accepted as one of them by most and we got much closer than
before.
I had invited a few new friends from my support group additionally and was glad
they were accepted by my old friends too. It was especially nice how one cute
transsexual and one of my male friends got close and finally even kissed each
other. The evening stays as one of the best in my memory.
Two days later was my first time time as woman in class. Most who knew me had
already heard about my change, so it was no surprise. I wasn't dressed that
differently than before, in jeans, sweater and flat shoes, only that my clothes
had a feminine touch to them. Of course my face looked different with my new
haircut and a little makeup. Fortunately that day was quite uneventful, I was
just another young woman now.
Chapter 7 - Family Development
It was March and the only time I still appeared as a man was when I visited
Emily's family now, as we still had seen no way how to tell them about me. That
vision about them throwing her out couldn't come true anymore, but then Emily
didn't really live with them anymore as we spent most of our time together and
she usually slept in my apartment too.
Then Rebecca visited us with another vision. It was embarrassing for her to tell
us, but she had seen us having sex and I was using a condom. The alternative was
Emily with a big belly.
We were not ready for a baby yet and Emily took the pill therefore. But my
sister's vision indicated that somehow that wasn't enough. Well, so I used a
condom from then on when we had sex, even if I didn't like it. Unfortunately a
few days later we had a night of hot sex and I somehow forgot the condom on the
second round. When I had just finished pumping my sperm into Emily I realized
what I had done, but it was too late.
Oh well, so much for family planning. And the pregnancy test a few days later
showed that we were getting a baby too, due the 14th December.
I had wanted to do it anyway, but now I had an additional reason. I asked Emily
if she wanted to become my wife. And she said yes.
We decided that we'd marry on the 20th June, two weeks after my graduation, so
that I didn't have to worry about the preparations too much when I had my
finals, and Emily hopefully wouldn't show too much yet. On the other side I'd
probably show then, after 5 months of hormones. Not that that mattered, as we
would both be wearing wedding gowns.
I had got my name changed to Denise, but I was still legally male and even had
an 'M' on my driver's license, so I still could really marry Emily.
The only problem left were my future parents-in-law. We had to tell them now. So
on the next visit they got to hear quite some news. First about the upcoming
wedding which they were happy about as they still thought of me as the model
son. Then the baby which made them happy too. And then that I was living as a
woman which only stunned them at first. But soon it got ugly and Emily's father
threw me out before we could explain. Emily stood by me and left too.
We had hoped that it wouldn't get that bad, that they got to like me and would
accept me as a woman too. We tried our best, but had no chance. It made us very
sad and we both cried for several minutes when we sat in the car after we left.
* * *
Life went on and we managed to talk with Emily's mother a few weeks later. She
could actually accept my change after some explaining, but her husband refused
to talk to me at all and wouldn't talk about me with his daughter either.
Meanwhile my breasts started to grow for real and when it was time for my finals
I actually filled my A-cup bras. This made wearing the breast forms
uncomfortable, so I gave them to a sister in need and used some padded bras for
myself from then on.
Two weeks later I had my graduation diploma in my hands, in the name of Denise
Wagner of course. I had found a job at a bank that would start on 1st July,
which was just right, so that I'd have 2 weeks of free time for preparation for
the wedding and then a week for the honeymoon.
The wedding was beautiful, with not only one but two brides. Even Emily's mother
came and actually saw me as woman for the first time. And she seemed to accept
me fully, even complimented me. The only downside was that my new wife's father
still couldn't accept me and even missed the wedding of his daughter therefore.
The wedding night was the high spot of the day. We had great sex, and I was glad
my cock still worked after 5 months of hormones even though it took a little
longer to get hard. But we weren't worried actually, as we liked non-penetrating
sex too. Foreplay and cuddling after sex was always an important part anyway.
We spent a week of honeymoon at the Niagara Falls, but then the seriousness of
life got us back. I had to start my new job at the bank soon. Somebody had to
earn the money to support our small but growing family after all.
Chapter 8 - The Robbery
It was that special date, 3rd November 1998, the day I'd die if that part of
Rebecca's vision came true. But I was confident that that wouldn't happen. After
all I was a woman now and if I'd die my gravestone would read Denise Wagner and
not Dennis Wagner.
I was now living as a woman full-time for over eight months and working at the
bank for four months. Emily's pregnancy was developing nicely and her big belly
was quite a sight. Life was good.
I was just talking with a customer about his investments when suddenly two
armed, masked men came into the bank. They disarmed the security guard quickly
and then told everybody to stay calm and nothing would happen. I really hoped
so, but of course I pressed the silent alarm button. We then had to sit down in
a row at a wall while one teller had to collect the money for them.
When the robbers wanted to leave the bank we heard police sirens. They were
actually quick this time. Unfortunately the robbers didn't give up, but took us
hostage. They demanded an escape car and 2 million Dollars. Of course that took
quite a time to organize and the police probably put them off additionally.
As time passed the gangsters got more and more nervous. Finally it was too much
for one of them and while talking on the phone he came over to us.
"I bet you don't believe I'll do it. Or why don't you get the fucking money
here?" I heard him say into the phone, "I have enough of this. I'll show you I'm
not to play around with."
Then he raised his gun and looked into my eyes. I was very frightened that he'd
shoot me. But then he turned to the man next to me.
"Stand up!" he told that man and led him over to the entrance so that the cops
could see him. And then he shot him.
Then it became clear. He would have selected me. But I was a woman now and he
probably didn't want to shoot a woman. I was glad that I was still alive, but
now somebody else had to die instead. And I could do nothing.
Then suddenly I heard more shots. But not from the robbers. The robbers were
actually hit. It seems the police finally decided to storm the bank as the
gangsters were likely to kill more hostages now. After the first robber had shot
that man the second one got mad on him and the cops used the resulting confusion
to take the gangsters out.
The gangsters were actually dead, but the man they had shot was heavily wounded
but still alive. As there was an ambulance already they quickly drove him to the
hospital. We others were fortunate to come out of it unharmed, at least
physical. The emotional shock sat deep though.
I was glad that nobody had to die for me after all, but I had to assume that if
I'd still been a man I would have been shot and probably not survived. Thank God
for my psychic sister.
Epiloge
It is Christmas 1998 now and I sit with my wife, my sister and my mother under
the Christmas tree, just like Rebecca saw it. And we are very happy. My
beautiful daughter is already sleeping in her bed. She was born two weeks early,
but has developed splendidly since then. Emily is trying hard to get back to her
former weight and will probably soon reach her goal.
My father-in-law still doesn't want to know anything about me, but I hope he'll
come around at some time. The relationship with my mother-in-law is much better.
She even visits us often in our new home. My small apartment certainly wasn't
big enough for three and now we have a three bedroom apartment, so there's space
for another kid in case we want one.
The danger of another 'accident' is slim though as my sperm isn't fertil
anymore. The female hormones saw to that. Fortunately they didn't stop my
erections even though my breasts grew nearly to B-cups, so we can still enjoy
sex as before.
As the initial reason for me to become a woman is gone now I could return to
manhood. But I actually like my life as it is now and returning would probably
be much harder than becoming a woman was. I don't really miss being a man, so
I'll stay a woman.
The End
Chapter 1 - The Vision
I was woken by the doorbell at 6:30 a.m. on that Sunday in November 1997 which
changed my life completely. I was in my senior year in college then, majored in
business and expected to graduate in summer. I lived on my own in a small
apartment. At the door was my 19 years old sister, Rebecca, and she was very
nervous.
"Sorry that I disturbed your sleep, but I couldn't wait," she said when she came
into my apartment. "I had a vision."
"About me?" I asked a little worried and she nodded.
I wasn't that surprised that Rebecca had a vision, she has them quite often. But
it must be serious if she's so nervous and has to come to me this early in the
morning.
My sister has had visions since she was a little girl and they nearly always
come true. Well, one part of the visions at least. Her visions always consist of
two parts and only one of them really happens. For example she once saw Mom
sitting in the park feeding ducks and a robber stealing Mom's handbag. Rebecca
was still very young then and we didn't believe im her visions yet. Besides not
everything she saw came true after all. So a few days later Mom went through a
park while shopping and thought about feeding the ducks, but then she decided
she hadn't enough time and so continued shopping. Well, a short time later a
robber grabbed her bag and took off with it. If she had spent some more time in
the park the robber probably would have stolen some other bag. After that event
we recognized the pattern and usually avoided the worse part of her visions.
Some very few times we managed to avoid both parts of Rebecca's visions, at
least we think so. For example my sister saw a dog getting killed by a car and
then that we took the dog home and kept it. A few days later we really saw a
lost dog and debated what we should do. It would be hard to care for it as we
all were quite busy and we didn't have any garden. We knew though that if we'd
do nothing the dog would be killed with high probability. So we actually took
the dog home but then brought it to the animal pound so that either the real
owner or a new home could be found. Some months later we checked on the dog and
found out he had a new home and was still alive.
And now my sister had had a vision again and it seemed to disturb her very much.
"What did you see?" I asked her when we sat down in my living room.
"I'm sorry, but I've seen your gravestone. It said Dennis L. Wagner, born 14th
February 1976, died 3rd November 1998. Mom and me stood at your grave and
mourned you."
"Oh no!" That was a schock. "What was the other part?"
"It was a Christmas scene, you, Mom, me and another woman sitting at a Christmas
tree. But you were not a man but a woman."
"A Woman? Did I dress up as a woman for Christmas?"
"No you weren't just dressing up. You looked, moved and behaved like a real
woman. Much more feminine than you could ever be now."
"But how? I'm a man after all and never even dressed up as a woman."
Chapter 2 - Decisions and First Dress-up
We drove together to Mom who lived one hour away to discuss this with her. It
was certainly serious and it would be better to get all the input possible.
Mom was shocked too of course when she heard about Rebecca's vision. She had
lost Dad only a year ago and the concept of losing her son too now was nearly
too much. But I had a way out at least, even though I didn't know yet how to
manage it.
We all had heard about transsexuals, so there was a possibility to become a
woman. But that certainly wouldn't be easy and not possible to do until
Christmas which was only a few weeks away. But the second part of the vision
didn't have to happen that year, after all the first part would happen about a
year later too. So we all agreed that it would be enough to be a woman on 3rd
November 1998. We briefly thought if I could somehow get out of it like we did
with the dog some years ago, but we saw no possibility and the risk of dying was
too big anyway. Better to be an alive woman than a dead man.
So I had nearly a year for me to become a woman, but we decided it would be best
to start as soon as possible. I would research about transsexuals as I had done
quite some research on the Internet already. My sister thought that I should do
something more practical too. She wanted me to dress up as woman right away, so
that I would get used to it. Reluctantly I agreed, after all she was right.
Rebecca started right away by getting a tape measure, ordering me to disrobe and
taking all kinds of measurements.
"Good," she said, "you're not much taller than me, only a little wider at waist
and chest and a little narrower at the hips. Quite some of my clothes should fit
you. Now go into the bathroom to shower and shave your beard and legs."
"Shave my legs?"
"Sure, pantyhose doesn't look that good on hairy legs."
"Pantyhose?"
"Yes, better get used to them right away."
Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. So I did as I was ordered. While I was
busy Mom and Rebecca selected clothes for me to wear from those my sister left
at Mom's while she was studying in the city. So when I came out of the bathroom
I stood in front of a pile of female clothes.
With some help I dressed as a woman: panties, bra stuffed with some socks, tan
pantyhose, a short black skirt and a red sweater. I had no shoes though as my
feet were too large for either Mom's or Rebecca's shoes. My hair was too short
for a woman and I had no makeup either, but that was soon corrected as I was
directed to the vanity. My mother and sister showed me how to apply makeup, but
insisted I do the actual applying myself, after all they wouldn't always be
around to do it for me. After many corrections they finally approved of the
result for now.
When I looked at the result in a full length mirror I was disappointed though. I
didn't see a woman, but a man in women's clothes and with makeup. This certainly
needed a lot more work. But then I had nearly a year left to get perfect. And
the short hair certainly didn't help.
Mom saw my disappointed look and said, "Don't worry, this is just the first try,
and with a wig it'll look a lot better anyway. Besides you don't wear any
jewelry either."
"Ah yes," added Rebecca, "You'll have to get your ears pierced so you can wear
nice earrings."
"Oh yeah, what else will I have to do?" I replied.
"We'll see as you go on. Ah yes, you need a female name."
"Hmm, I don't know. Mom, what name would you have given me if I'd been born a
girl?"
"We didn't select any female name because we knew you're a boy before you were
born," Mom said. "But how about 'Denise'? It's close to your male name."
"Yes, I like 'Denise' too," Rebecca said after a little thinking.
"Okay, sounds good. So I'll be Denise," I agreed. "Well, I guess I can remove
this all now then." Somehow I was uncomfortable in this outfit.
"Oh no, Denise, you're far from finished yet," my sister replied. "You have a
lot to learn still, like how to move like a woman. And besides it's best you
wear women's clothes as much as you can so that it feels natural soon."
That resulted in practicing sitting, standing and walking like a woman, and I
was happy I didn't wear heels yet like my sister told me I'd do soon. Finally it
was time to go back to the city though, so I removed the makeup and clothes and
dressed as me again. Rebecca packed quite some of her makeup and clothes
including some nighties though, so that I could dress in them when I was at
home.
Chapter 3 - Shopping And A New Friend
I was glad I lived alone, because I must have looked hilarious in my nighty the
next morning. But soon I was dressed in male clothes again and on my way to
college. When I had some time I searched for transsexual resources on the
Internet and got overwhelmed. There were thousands of pages and I had a hard
time to find those who really had information I could use. I learned quite a lot
about transsexuals anyway.
When I came home I didn't really want to dress up again, but I knew it was
necessary. So I selected what seemed to be an acceptable combination of clothes
and dressed in them. Then I used some makeup too which took much more time than
I liked. After that I spent the rest of the evening as a woman, well, as close
of an approximation as I could, but I hardly felt like a woman.
The next day Rebecca took me shopping. First we went into a wig shop where we
were served by an older lady. When I told her nervously that I looked for a wig
for me she reassured me by saying that quite some crossdressers and transsexuals
were buying wings at her shop. It was quite worth the little embarrassment to go
there, because they had a big selection of good wigs and I could try them on to
find one which really was right for me. It was the same blond as my own hair and
shoulder length.
Next my sister took me into a shoe store. Here we were not the only customers
though. But then I had to get used to that. I didn't expect to be able to become
a woman without a time of being in-between, where I would be recognized as a man
wearing female clothes. So when a young saleswoman approached us and asked if
she could help us I nervously told her I'd need women's shoes.
"Women's shoes for you, sir? Umm, sure. Do you know your size?"
I wasn't sure, so she measured my feet and declared me a size 10. She asked me
what style I wanted and Rebecca told her I'd need a pair of casual flats and
some more dressy pumps, both black. The saleswoman then showed us several shoes.
"Um, may I ask why you need women's shoes?" she asked me while I tried them on.
"Well, I'm a transsexual and I want to become a woman," I replied. That was
close enough to the real truth.
"Oh, that must be hard. I saw some report on TV about transsexuals. But you're
cute, you'll make a pretty woman," she said smiling.
"Thanks, you're very nice. Somehow I expected a lot worse reactions."
Just at that moment a man walked by and mumbled "Damn fags!" when he saw me
trying on women's shoes. So much for good reactions. Besides I wasn't a
homosexual anyway.
"I'm sorry, some people are just stupid. Don't let that get to you. You're
always welcome here. By the way, my name is Emily."
"Thank you, I'm Dennis. Well, soon Denise. And this is my sister Rebecca."
Emily seemed genuinely interested and asked a lot questions about what I had to
do to become a woman. I told her that I was just starting and still researching
and probably needed a lot of practice before I could go on the street as a
woman. And then she offered to help me. I liked Emily and so I accepted. We
exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet on Sunday.
I finally ended up buying 3 pairs of shoes: flats, low heeled pumps and 4" high
stiletto heels. I was very wobbly in the high heels and nearly fell over when I
tried to stand up, but Rebecca said I'd get used to them.
The following days I researched on the net again and dressed up at home in the
evenings. Twice my sister came over to help me, but she had her own life too.
With the wig I looked much more womanly and I didn't feel so ridiculous anymore.
* * *
Sunday I was very nervous. It would be the first time somebody besides my family
would see me in women's clothes. I debated if I should receive her dressed as a
woman, but I thought she'd like to see each step of the transformation. When
Emily arrived we didn't start right away but first talked for some time. After
all we didn't know much of each other. She was actually a year younger than me
and still lived with her family. She didn't have the luck to have rich parents
like me and so couldn't go to college full-time, but she took some evening
courses. We found out that we had quite some common interests and I liked her
more and more.
Finally we started my transformation. Of course putting on clothes wasn't that
special, but she had some makeup tips that my Mom and sister didn't know of. She
helped me selecting accessories which improved my outfit a lot in the end. So
finally I stood in front of her in a blue dress, dark hose and my black pumps. A
wide belt, a silk scarf and some bracelets completed the look.
"Denise, you're really pretty," Emily said and then hugged me.
I blushed and then hugged her back. "Thank you, but ..."
"No 'but', you are pretty."
And then she kissed me. Not only a peck, but a really intimate kiss. And I
kissed her back.
When we separated we were both a little embarrassed, but I didn't regret it at
all. We were getting hungry and so we ordered some food. It was a romantic
dinner with candlelight and wine. With her smiling at me I felt comfortable in
female clothes for the first time.
After dinner I modeled some more of the clothes my sister had given me. Even
though Rebecca had tried to select clothes which would fit me some of them
didn't look that good on me, and they were all used of course. So Emily
suggested that we go shopping the following Wednesday as that was her day off.
Then it was time for her to leave and we kissed again as good-bye.
* * *
Shopping with Emily on Wednesday afternoon was nice. I was less nervous this
time as I didn't have to try on all the clothes, because I knew my sizes from
the clothes I had already. The few clothes I had to try on I snug into the
changing cubicle and only wore there, with Emily looking in of course. Then she
led me into the lingerie section. I needed more underwear too of course, but she
insisted on buying lacy bras and panties and even garter belts and stockings.
She said she liked her girlfriends to be sexy and winked at me.
After our shopping spree we ate a little at a restaurant, but then it was time
to say goodbye. We agreed to meet again on Sunday though.
At home I changed into my new clothes, but when I wore the lacy lingerie the
look was disturbed very much by the socks I used as false breasts. On the net I
had read about silicone breast forms and found a shop in the city that catered
to crossdressers and transsexuals, so I decided to go there the following day.
I was shopping alone this time, but then this store would be sympathetic to my
needs. The shop assistant actually was very nice and showed me the breast form
models they had. After I selected a pair I asked if they had something to reduce
the bulge in the crotch area and got a gaff for that.
Chapter 4 - First Experiences As A Woman
The next Sunday I surprised Emily by greeting her in my most sexy outfit, a red
top and, tight black miniskirt, black stockings and my 4" heels. I had practiced
a lot so that I could walk quite fine in the stiletto heels. Emily was
pleasantly surprised and we couldn't stop kissing each other. Then Emily
surprised me by pulling me into my bedroom and saying "I want you! Right now!"
Soon I was laying on the bed and Emily removed my skirt and top. Then she had
another pleasant surprise when she saw my smooth crotch and well formed breasts
in my lacy, black underwear. I removed her clothes too and we made love like two
women. We kissed us everywhere. I removed her panties and kissed her pussy too.
Finally she turned around, removed my panties and the gaff and then she took my
cock into her beautiful mouth. We were pleasuring each other until we both had a
wonderful orgasm.
"I love you," I told Emily.
"I love you too," she replied and then we kissed each other for the longest
time.
After we regained our breath Emily suggested to go out, with me as woman. I
didn't feel ready for that yet. My girlfriend, and Emily certainly was my
girlfriend now, persuaded me to go for a walk at least. Besides it was getting
dark anyway and nobody would recognize me. So I dressed in some casual clothes
and we went for a stroll through the neighborhood. I was nervous of course, but
after several people walked by and didn't notice anything special I felt better.
We were holding hands and even kissed each other when nobody was in sight.
I was so happy that I had done my first steps as a woman in public, because it
increased my confidence a lot. I felt a little more comfortable in women's
clothes now too, but my girlfriend's acceptance and love certainly helped a lot
there. I was still worried if I could survive as a woman, or if I'd miss being a
man. And I didn't want to lose my cock either. But that wasn't really necessary.
Many transsexuals lived as woman with a cock and I doubt that that little detail
would be important in Rebecca's vision. Besides I had read that one whole year
of a so called Real Life Test had to be absolved before a transsexual could get
a sex change operation, and I didn't have a year left.
For now I was happy, and I showed it to my girlfriend by pulling her into the
bedroom for another round of sex. The evening was over much too early though and
Emily had to go home again. But not without a big kiss and a promise from me to
go out somewhere the next Saturday.
* * *
On the Internet I had found a list with support groups for transsexuals and
contacted one that met in the city. They had meetings on the 2nd and 4th
Thursday of each month. The next one was the following week and I decided to go
there then.
Another thing bothered me: my voice. It certainly wasn't female. Fortunately I
found a voice training tape on the net and ordered it. There were some samples
and I downloaded them to start my voice training as soon as possible.
On Saturday I prepared myself to go out as a woman at first, but then I got big
doubts. Last Sunday I had been in the dark always, but this time I'd be in
lightened rooms. And there'd certainly people who would recognize me as a man
and some of them might react badly then. And I didn't know where I should go
anyway. I couldn't go to my usual hangouts of course, as I wasn't ready to out
myself yet. So I called her to cancel, but she was on her way already.
When she arrived she was disappointed of course, but she said she could
understand that I was afraid. Then she suggested we go out anyway, but with me
as man. I was glad that getting ready to go out didn't nearly take as much time
for a man as for a woman, so that my girlfriend didn't have to wait long and we
were on our way for a fun night out.
When we came home we went straight into my bedroom. Emily had packed a bag to
stay over, so we had all night. But when I wanted to make love to her she wasn't
as enthusiastic as the week before. Only when I put on my wig, female underwear
and breast forms did I see that glow in her eyes again. And that glow was well
worth it.
* * *
Sunday morning was the first time for much too long that I didn't wake up alone.
I dressed as a woman again of course, but casually in jeans and sweater. We
spent the whole day together, snuggling a lot, and making love too. Emily even
managed to get me out for a stroll before it was really dark, which was a
confidence booster as it went all fine.
Of course the day was over much too soon. But at least my girlfriend had agreed
to come with me to that support group meeting the next Thursday, so we would
meet again soon.
* * *
Tuesday the voice training tape arrived and I spent quite some time using the
lessons on it from then on.
In the evening the doorbell rang suddenly. I was dressed as a woman as usual
now. My friends usually called when they wanted to visit me. I was very worried
if I should open the door. Finally I said to myself that at some time it would
come out anyway. When I opened I was very glad that it was my sister though.
Rebecca complimented me on my look and then I had to tell her everything that
happened the last two weeks. Well, I didn't actually tell her I had sex with
Emily, but I think she could guess. She was glad that things progressed well and
offered her help again, but at that moment I had all the help I needed.
* * *
Finally it was Thursday and I had to get ready for the support group. I chose a
casual dress and the low heeled pumps. I wanted to appear feminine, but not
overdo it. Emily liked my choice.
When it was time to leave I got nervous again. I'd have to go out in bright
daylight and then I'd have to meet several people as a woman and talk with them
with my deep voice. But they would be sympathetic of course, as they had the
same problem as me. Well, mostly. They didn't have a vision that said, "You'll
die if you don't become a woman." But then I had read that transsexuals often
committed suicide, so it was a matter of life or death for some of them too.
I got into the car without being seen and we were on our way. Emily had to hold
my hand to calm me down though when we reached the destination and I had to go
into the meeting room. There were several women and a few men there already or
arrived shortly after us. A lot of the women were recognizable as transsexuals
(or crossdressers) and most men looked rather boyish. The clothes ranged from
casual to evening wear and the age from about 20 to 50.
One woman approached me. "Hello, you two must be new here," she greeted us. "My
name is Hellen Francis and I'm the president of our support group. Welcome
here."
"Thank you," I said in my not so female voice, "I think we phoned last week. I'm
Denise and this is my girlfriend Emily."
"Yes, I remember you. Well, as you can see we're quite a mixed crowd. Today we
first have a lecture about the different methods of beard removal, then some
general discussion and after that most of us go to a bar for a nice evening
among friends."
She then gave me some information material and a membership form. After that she
introduced us to some other members of the group. They all made me feel welcome
and we chatted a little. Then it was time for the lecture.
The lecture had quite some useful information. It seemed traditional
electrolysis was still better than the new laser treatment. I got some address
for a good and cheap electrolysist too.
After the formal part was over we joined the members who went to a nearby bar.
In the group I felt comfortable and secure, even though I knew that I'd probably
be recognized as a man, especially if I said something. But the people here must
be used to transsexuals and crossdressers by now.
The chat with the others was nice and informative. I got recommendations for a
shrink and endocrinologist (that are the doctors who administer hormones) and
some other places to go out to. I even got invited to join some of them on
Saturday. Emily and me accepted and this time I'd really go out as a woman.
After all I was out as a woman now already and I had got quite some compliments
on my looks.
The next day was a workday, so the evening ended quite early. The next support
group meeting would be in four weeks as it was Christmas in two weeks.
* * *
Friday I made appointments with the shrink and electrolysist whom I got
recommended. The electrolysist had time the next Wednesday because of a
cancellation, but the shrink was busy until 5th January. Well, Christmas was
probably a bad time to start.
Saturday the evening out as woman was nice, but when I left my apartment I met a
neighbor on the stairs. He looked strangely at me but didn't say anything. Well,
that was supposed to happen at some time.
I spent Sunday with Emily again and she pulled me out for a walk again. When we
were at a cinema she saw that a movie she'd like to watch showed there. Well, it
is dark in a cinema anyway, so I agreed. Of course I forgot that there is a lot
of light before the movie begins. But then I'd have to learn to be in public.
Emily told me that I looked just fine and nobody would guess I'd be male. And
really, nobody noticed.
Wednesday I had my first electrolysis setting and I experienced why the other
transsexuals called it zapping. Ouch! And I would have to do that every week for
at least 2 years.
Chapter 5 - Christmas Time
It was Thursday, only one week before Christmas, when my sister visited me
again. We chatted a little and then she suddenly got serious.
"Does Emily's family know about you? Did you see them already?" she asked.
"No, I didn't meet them yet and they don't know about me, at least not about
Denise. Her parents know that she has a boyfriend though."
"But do you intend to visit them soon?"
"Hmm, yes, we talked about that. Her parents are curious and want to meet me,
and we thought Christmas would be a good time."
"Okay, but go as Dennis and not as Denise. And better don't tell them about
Denise yet."
"Why?"
"I had a vision again. First you as Dennis and Emily meet some older people, I
assume her parents. Then Emily is thrown out by her parents. Emily still lives
with them, doesn't she?"
"Yes, she does. So you think her parents won't accept me as Denise?"
"Yeah, I don't see what else is significant about you visiting them as a man."
"You're probably right. But at some time they will have to know about me. So
they will just throw her out at a later time."
"Perhaps, but perhaps it's just the wrong time now."
"I hope so."
* * *
Emily and I spent Saturday evening and Sunday together again. We talked about
visiting our parents too. My mother had invited us for Christmas Eve and her
parents for the next day.
"I think you should meet my parents as Denise," my girlfriend said. "You seem to
be quite comfortable as a woman now and I don't want to hide you from them."
"No, I can't. I don't think your parents would react well on me this way."
"Why do you think that? You don't know them. I love you so much, they just have
to like you too."
"Parents sometimes have strange ideas whom their children may love."
"So you think may parents are some rednecks who tell their daughter whom to love
and whom not?" she replied annoyed.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't be the model husband in their eyes."
"If you think that, why do you even want to meet them at all?" She was really
angry now and I didn't know how to calm her down again, except to tell her the
truth.
"Okay, I'll tell you something now. You might not want to believe it, but it's
true anyway. Please calm down and listen."
"Hmm, okay, go on."
"Well, my sister is psychic. She has visions sometimes and nearly always they
come true. Some weeks ago she had a vision that I have to become a woman or I'd
die. That is the reason why I do all this. I'm not really a transsexual in the
sense that I feel to be a woman inside, but just like them I have to become a
woman."
"And what does have to do with my parents?"
"My sister had another vision this week. She saw that if I don't visit your
parents as Dennis then they'll throw you out."
"That is thick."
"I know it's hard to believe, but why should I make this up? I love you and I
don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to get problems with your parents
either. So even if you don't believe me, could we keep Denise secret for now,
just to be on the save side?"
She wasn't persuaded yet, but after I told her more about Rebecca's visions she
finally seemed to believe me. At least she agreed to visit her parents with me
as Dennis and not to mention my female side.
* * *
As Christmas Eve was a Wednesday Emily didn't have to work that day fortunately.
So we drove to visit my mother early in the morning. As I really was quite
comfortable in female clothes now and Mom certainly would want to see how I
managed now I chose to go as Denise. I wore a nice dress with a floral pattern,
tan hose and my 4" heels and Emily wore a dress too, even though she was usually
a jeans and sweater girl.
When we arrived Mom and I hugged each other, which we didn't do often before.
She liked what she saw and complimented me on my looks. Mom was glad to meet my
girlfriend too and they hit it off well. My sister arrived a little later and we
spent a nice day with each other. Mom was very happy to have three daughters
now.
"So, Rebecca, is this the scene you saw in your vision?" Emily asked when we all
sat beneath the Christmas tree.
"You know?"
"I told her about your visions," I explained.
"Hmm, it was quite some weeks ago already," Rebecca said, "but I think it's not
quite right. You are the fourth woman whom I didn't know then. But Denise isn't
as feminine yet as in the vision. But that doesn't matter, we expect the vision
to come true next year anyway."
I really hoped it would come true, because that would mean I'd stay together
with Emily too, and I was very much in love.
* * *
The next day I finally met my girlfriend's parents. But as we agreed we kept
Denise a secret. It was actually quite fun to talk with them, but I just hoped
they could somehow accept me as Denise too. Fortunately Rebecca had had her
vision or we probably wouldn't have sat there happily in their living room. For
now they seemed happy that their daughter had found a boyfriend.
Chapter 6 - Transition
On Saturday after Christmas Emily and I went out to the transgender friendly
bars and met our new friends from the support group again. This actually became
our usual activity for Saturday nights. Some men tried to pick me up at the bar
and this made me feel good even though I had no intention to ever date a man.
I was finally comfortable enough as woman that I dared going shopping in bright
daylight, first only with my girlfriend, but then alone too. And it seemed
everybody accepted me as a woman even though I got probably read as a man
sometimes. I had spent most of my time at home in female clothes in the last
weeks, but now I started to appear in public as woman often too.
I met some more neighbors on the stairs. Most only looked and said nothing for
now, like the one whom I had met before, but one woman congratulated me to my
courage.
And then came the appointment with the shrink on 5th January of the new year. I
had read a lot about transsexuals by then and even talked to a few who had
visited exactly this shrink, so I knew what kind of question to expect and what
she wanted to hear. I wanted to get my recommendation for hormones as quickly as
possible. And appearing comfortably as woman was probably a big factor too. So I
dressed in a stylish business suit and high heels for the meeting.
I was nervous when I met her at first anyway, but soon she managed to calm me
down, telling be how she was here to help and not to judge me. I told her
actually the truth about me, except for the reason why I needed to become a
woman. As I was slight of built I had really had some problems with bullies in
school and I had kept to myself like many transsexuals for example. I just added
that I felt that I didn't fit in and that I finally found out why. And that I
felt much better since I spent more and more time as woman. That I had to become
a woman was the truth again.
She seemed impressed by my natural appearance and my determination. She liked
the support group, the electrolysis, the support by my family and girlfriend and
my plan for transition. I didn't appear to be psychological unstable or deluded
and so she okayed hormones right away. I didn't expect that, but was happy about
it of course. We made an appointment for the 9th February for the next
consultation and she wished me much luck on my way.
On the next day I had my second electrolysis session, which would be a regular
date on Tuesdays and Saturdays from then on. I went there as woman too.
Thursday was a support group meeting again and I met most of my new
transgendered friends. Four weeks before I was still doing my first steps as a
woman in public, but I had changed a lot in the meantime. And a lot of people
told me it was visible for them too. Even though I didn't seem to need that much
support anymore I'd continue to go to the meetings, to meet my new friends and
perhaps give support for my peers too.
The Tuesday of the following week I saw an endocrinologist about the hormones.
He took some blood sample and if everything would be okay I'd be getting a
prescription the next week. So on Monday the 19th I had the first prescription
of Estinyl in my hands. He would have prescribed an anti-androgen too, but Emily
and me liked it when I penetrated her and with estrogen alone I'd get the
feminizing affect and had a chance that my cock stayed functional.
The hormones would make me infertile soon though, so I had actually deposited
some samples at a sperm bank in case we wanted children later.
* * *
It was finally time to tell my friends. I had seen them less in the last time
because of Emily and because I spent most of my free time as woman now. Some had
met Emily already and so thought that she was the reason. So when I finally told
them of the real reason they were all quite surprised. Most of them were okay
with it, but a few rejected me for my decision. Well, there's always some loss.
I could live with it, even if it was sad.
As I didn't want to live two lives I intended to transition at college as soon
as possible too. One step in that direction was to give a transition party for
my friends, so that they could get used to see me as woman before they saw me
that way in college. I didn't have enough room to host it myself, so I invited
them to a bar and would pay the first two rounds of drinks. And as my birthday
happened to be soon I chose that date to be my transition date and combine my
birthday and transition party.
From the 14th February 1998 on I would appear as woman full-time. It would be
the official begin of the Real Life Test, but then that didn't matter as I
didn't intend to get any surgery.
A few more things needed to be done. First was to change my name legally. That
was actually much more easy than I had thought. I just went to the DMV and had
to fill a form. I had got a letter from my doctor that I was undergoing
treatment for gender dysphoria and needed to live as a woman for that which I
added to my request and they said I'd get my new driver's license in four to six
weeks. I'd have to wait that long before I could change my other documents.
I talked with the student counselor at college and he said it would be no
problem. I seemed not to be the first student who transitioned. I'd have to wait
for my driver's license to change my records, but I could attend the classes as
woman before that. To be on the secure side I told my teachers about my upcoming
change too.
On 9th February I had my second session with my shrink. I just reported how my
life went and of my upcoming transition at college. As I didn't really have a
need for another session we agreed that I'd see her next in about 6 months.
Finally it was my birthday. I was woken by Emily with a kiss and then she served
me breakfast in bed. Usually she would have to work on Saturdays, but she took
the day off, so we could celebrate. After I had finished my meal my girlfriend
gave me my birthday gift and told me to open it immediately. It was a very sexy
set of lingerie, a beautiful red teddy with black trim and garters, matching
panties and black, seamed stockings. Emily demanded that I wear it on my
birthday. I actually put it on right away and then I pulled her back into the
bed and showed her how much I liked her gift. It was a good start into the rest
of my life as woman.
At 4 p.m. I had an appointment at the beautician. My hair had grown long enough
meanwhile so that it could be cut and styled femininely, even if it was still
quite short. Then I got a professional makeover including nail extensions. Even
though I was quite accomplished in doing my makeup by now, a professional still
could do it much better. I was beautiful when I looked into the mirror before I
left.
For my party that evening I wore my new lingerie including the seamed stockings,
a tight, black dress that only went to mid thigh and my 4" high black heels. I
wanted to impress my friends and I seemed to be successful. Many of my male
friends stared quite unashamedly at my features when they saw me. And the female
friends congratulated me on my looks too. Only a few had seen me before when
they visited me at home in the days after my coming out, but I was dressed
casually then.
My friends actually related differently to me now. I was a buddy for the men
before which I actually would have liked to stay, but somehow most couldn't and
instinctively treated a woman differently. With the women the change was more
positive. I was accepted as one of them by most and we got much closer than
before.
I had invited a few new friends from my support group additionally and was glad
they were accepted by my old friends too. It was especially nice how one cute
transsexual and one of my male friends got close and finally even kissed each
other. The evening stays as one of the best in my memory.
Two days later was my first time time as woman in class. Most who knew me had
already heard about my change, so it was no surprise. I wasn't dressed that
differently than before, in jeans, sweater and flat shoes, only that my clothes
had a feminine touch to them. Of course my face looked different with my new
haircut and a little makeup. Fortunately that day was quite uneventful, I was
just another young woman now.
Chapter 7 - Family Development
It was March and the only time I still appeared as a man was when I visited
Emily's family now, as we still had seen no way how to tell them about me. That
vision about them throwing her out couldn't come true anymore, but then Emily
didn't really live with them anymore as we spent most of our time together and
she usually slept in my apartment too.
Then Rebecca visited us with another vision. It was embarrassing for her to tell
us, but she had seen us having sex and I was using a condom. The alternative was
Emily with a big belly.
We were not ready for a baby yet and Emily took the pill therefore. But my
sister's vision indicated that somehow that wasn't enough. Well, so I used a
condom from then on when we had sex, even if I didn't like it. Unfortunately a
few days later we had a night of hot sex and I somehow forgot the condom on the
second round. When I had just finished pumping my sperm into Emily I realized
what I had done, but it was too late.
Oh well, so much for family planning. And the pregnancy test a few days later
showed that we were getting a baby too, due the 14th December.
I had wanted to do it anyway, but now I had an additional reason. I asked Emily
if she wanted to become my wife. And she said yes.
We decided that we'd marry on the 20th June, two weeks after my graduation, so
that I didn't have to worry about the preparations too much when I had my
finals, and Emily hopefully wouldn't show too much yet. On the other side I'd
probably show then, after 5 months of hormones. Not that that mattered, as we
would both be wearing wedding gowns.
I had got my name changed to Denise, but I was still legally male and even had
an 'M' on my driver's license, so I still could really marry Emily.
The only problem left were my future parents-in-law. We had to tell them now. So
on the next visit they got to hear quite some news. First about the upcoming
wedding which they were happy about as they still thought of me as the model
son. Then the baby which made them happy too. And then that I was living as a
woman which only stunned them at first. But soon it got ugly and Emily's father
threw me out before we could explain. Emily stood by me and left too.
We had hoped that it wouldn't get that bad, that they got to like me and would
accept me as a woman too. We tried our best, but had no chance. It made us very
sad and we both cried for several minutes when we sat in the car after we left.
* * *
Life went on and we managed to talk with Emily's mother a few weeks later. She
could actually accept my change after some explaining, but her husband refused
to talk to me at all and wouldn't talk about me with his daughter either.
Meanwhile my breasts started to grow for real and when it was time for my finals
I actually filled my A-cup bras. This made wearing the breast forms
uncomfortable, so I gave them to a sister in need and used some padded bras for
myself from then on.
Two weeks later I had my graduation diploma in my hands, in the name of Denise
Wagner of course. I had found a job at a bank that would start on 1st July,
which was just right, so that I'd have 2 weeks of free time for preparation for
the wedding and then a week for the honeymoon.
The wedding was beautiful, with not only one but two brides. Even Emily's mother
came and actually saw me as woman for the first time. And she seemed to accept
me fully, even complimented me. The only downside was that my new wife's father
still couldn't accept me and even missed the wedding of his daughter therefore.
The wedding night was the high spot of the day. We had great sex, and I was glad
my cock still worked after 5 months of hormones even though it took a little
longer to get hard. But we weren't worried actually, as we liked non-penetrating
sex too. Foreplay and cuddling after sex was always an important part anyway.
We spent a week of honeymoon at the Niagara Falls, but then the seriousness of
life got us back. I had to start my new job at the bank soon. Somebody had to
earn the money to support our small but growing family after all.
Chapter 8 - The Robbery
It was that special date, 3rd November 1998, the day I'd die if that part of
Rebecca's vision came true. But I was confident that that wouldn't happen. After
all I was a woman now and if I'd die my gravestone would read Denise Wagner and
not Dennis Wagner.
I was now living as a woman full-time for over eight months and working at the
bank for four months. Emily's pregnancy was developing nicely and her big belly
was quite a sight. Life was good.
I was just talking with a customer about his investments when suddenly two
armed, masked men came into the bank. They disarmed the security guard quickly
and then told everybody to stay calm and nothing would happen. I really hoped
so, but of course I pressed the silent alarm button. We then had to sit down in
a row at a wall while one teller had to collect the money for them.
When the robbers wanted to leave the bank we heard police sirens. They were
actually quick this time. Unfortunately the robbers didn't give up, but took us
hostage. They demanded an escape car and 2 million Dollars. Of course that took
quite a time to organize and the police probably put them off additionally.
As time passed the gangsters got more and more nervous. Finally it was too much
for one of them and while talking on the phone he came over to us.
"I bet you don't believe I'll do it. Or why don't you get the fucking money
here?" I heard him say into the phone, "I have enough of this. I'll show you I'm
not to play around with."
Then he raised his gun and looked into my eyes. I was very frightened that he'd
shoot me. But then he turned to the man next to me.
"Stand up!" he told that man and led him over to the entrance so that the cops
could see him. And then he shot him.
Then it became clear. He would have selected me. But I was a woman now and he
probably didn't want to shoot a woman. I was glad that I was still alive, but
now somebody else had to die instead. And I could do nothing.
Then suddenly I heard more shots. But not from the robbers. The robbers were
actually hit. It seems the police finally decided to storm the bank as the
gangsters were likely to kill more hostages now. After the first robber had shot
that man the second one got mad on him and the cops used the resulting confusion
to take the gangsters out.
The gangsters were actually dead, but the man they had shot was heavily wounded
but still alive. As there was an ambulance already they quickly drove him to the
hospital. We others were fortunate to come out of it unharmed, at least
physical. The emotional shock sat deep though.
I was glad that nobody had to die for me after all, but I had to assume that if
I'd still been a man I would have been shot and probably not survived. Thank God
for my psychic sister.
Epiloge
It is Christmas 1998 now and I sit with my wife, my sister and my mother under
the Christmas tree, just like Rebecca saw it. And we are very happy. My
beautiful daughter is already sleeping in her bed. She was born two weeks early,
but has developed splendidly since then. Emily is trying hard to get back to her
former weight and will probably soon reach her goal.
My father-in-law still doesn't want to know anything about me, but I hope he'll
come around at some time. The relationship with my mother-in-law is much better.
She even visits us often in our new home. My small apartment certainly wasn't
big enough for three and now we have a three bedroom apartment, so there's space
for another kid in case we want one.
The danger of another 'accident' is slim though as my sperm isn't fertil
anymore. The female hormones saw to that. Fortunately they didn't stop my
erections even though my breasts grew nearly to B-cups, so we can still enjoy
sex as before.
As the initial reason for me to become a woman is gone now I could return to
manhood. But I actually like my life as it is now and returning would probably
be much harder than becoming a woman was. I don't really miss being a man, so
I'll stay a woman.
The End
